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If a woman was married to a man who dies, and they were divorced,
and they had a family together, lets say multiple children, it is disrespectful not
to make a mention of his ex wife, she was the mother of his children.
I personally saw an Obit that mentioned that, it was very respectful.
In the Obit it mentioned the ex wife as Mother of his 5 children, and then her
first name, she had same last name as he did.
Just because someone is divorced, doesn't mean they shouldn't be given the respect
for being the parent of children that were produced from the marriage.
Example,
John Smith dies, Laura Smith, his wife, Mother of his 3 children, Vicki Smith, his daughters
Carrie and Lilly, ect......
Not only is this fantastic for geneologists, but it gives the parentage a respect that I feel
is warranted.
OK. Now I have said my piece.
In researching my own family history, I do love and appreciate it when the person who writes the obituary clearly names all those who are related - mothers, ex-wives, children, etc. It makes a researchers job so much easier.
However, I don't think rules of etiquette call for such a thing to be required.
If a woman was married to a man who dies, and they were divorced,
and they had a family together, lets say multiple children, it is disrespectful not
to make a mention of his ex wife, she was the mother of his children.
I personally saw an Obit that mentioned that, it was very respectful.
In the Obit it mentioned the ex wife as Mother of his 5 children, and then her
first name, she had same last name as he did.
Just because someone is divorced, doesn't mean they shouldn't be given the respect
for being the parent of children that were produced from the marriage.
Example,
John Smith dies, Laura Smith, his wife, Mother of his 3 children, Vicki Smith, his daughters
Carrie and Lilly, ect......
Not only is this fantastic for geneologists, but it gives the parentage a respect that I feel
is warranted.
OK. Now I have said my piece.
Oh dear. I would have a fit if someone mentioned my ex in any obituary connected with me/my family.
Stop and think about it . . . the "children" (i.e. granchildren, nieces/nephews) ARE related to the deceased. However, the mother of those children is NOT related in any way. And for most of us, especially when those children are adults, we have had no contact with the ex's family possibly in many decades.
Oh dear. I would have a fit if someone mentioned my ex in any obituary connected with me/my family.
Stop and think about it . . . the "children" (i.e. granchildren, nieces/nephews) ARE related to the deceased. However, the mother of those children is NOT related in any way. And for most of us, especially when those children are adults, we have had no contact with the ex's family possibly in many decades.
The purpose of an obituary is not to make things "fantastic for (future) genealogists", but to render an accurate portrayal of the decedent's life at the time of death,
Former things are, well; former.
So, out of respect to the decedent, her former spouse (s) is not listed.
My SIL's father died and he had remarried another woman after divorcing her mother years prior, and I mean years; he had children w/ the 2nd wife, etc. He died and the daughter was left out of the obituary so she called the paper to make sure she was put in as a re-run ad?? Wow, bizarre! I guess she paid for it. Her step sisters/brothers left her out, I guess that was the issue. She had never gotten along or had a relationship with them either. If you hated the man and he's now gone, who cares if your darn name was included as his child??
The purpose of an obituary is not to make things "fantastic for (future) genealogists", but to render an accurate portrayal of the decedent's life at the time of death,
Former things are, well; former.
So, out of respect to the decedent, her former spouse (s) is not listed.
The purpose of an obituary is not to make things "fantastic for (future) genealogists", but to render an accurate portrayal of the decedent's life at the time of death,
Former things are, well; former.
So, out of respect to the decedent, her former spouse (s) is not listed.
I agree.
When my father passed away we also listed three non-relatives. His best friend of over 60 years, a man who was like an adopted son for over 30 years plus a young neighbor who was like an adopted granddaughter. These were all people who he saw on a daily (or almost daily) basis for years.
His children and grandchildren, who lived 200 to 600 miles away, were grateful and appreciative of the love and attention these close friends/adopted relatives gave to our father/grandfather so we included them in the (paid) obituary in the newspaper. Their grief was as deep or almost as deep as his biological relatives.
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