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View Poll Results: Is it weird/disturbing not to bawl when a close relative dies?
Yes, it kinda means you didn't love them 3 2.33%
No, people process loss in their own way 126 97.67%
Voters: 129. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-05-2014, 04:20 PM
 
26,163 posts, read 14,457,966 times
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You dont care if someone you love cant be with you anymore??
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:08 PM
 
278 posts, read 204,473 times
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I was sad when my grandpa passed 5 years ago but never cried. I did cry and I still get sad when I think of my best friend who died in February and my cousin who was killed in August. I have a special song I listen to for them and it just gets me thinking all the good times we had and conversations and the fact both were below 30 when they died.
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:52 PM
 
12,607 posts, read 14,609,308 times
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When my parents died I didn't cry in front of everyone - not on purpose, it's just that the tears didn't come then. I cried plenty in private or just with my husband or other close family. But come to think of it, most of my crying was alone. I guess people might have thought I didn't care since they didn't see me crying, but I don't really care.
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Old 01-06-2014, 05:45 AM
 
2,268 posts, read 2,211,881 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
As someone mentioned a child dying is a different type of grief and emotion, its more unexpected , unfair and so sad..
Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22 View Post
I'd say the same for a young adult too. I don't find a 25 yo dying much less sad than a 5 year old.

I briefly knew a young woman back in 1980 that I had helped out (giving her housing for what turned out to be a few days and then she just left). I didn't know it until many years later but it turns out that she was 16 at the time that I knew her (and I was 25 at the time); I thought she was 18 or 19 or even 20 years of age during the time that I knew her. I learned in 2006 that she was reported (inaccurately, as it turned out) as missing in 1995 and, later on in 2013, I learned that she had actually been murdered in 1989 (at age 25). So I knew her when I was 25 and am now appproaching 60 years of age (per this writing) and she herself didn't live past age 25. I hadn't developed particular feelings for her at the time I knew her other than a feeling of empathy for a person in need (we weren't involved emotionally, romantically, or otherwise but just "fellow travelers" in this path of life) and yet, after learning of her tragic life after we had parted and then her later brutal murder at age 25, I found myself crying briefly for the tragedy of her life. She deserved better. I have made it to the precipice of the senior years (as I write this) and she didn't live beyond her mid-20s.
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Old 01-06-2014, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Ouachita Mtns of Arkansas
1,923 posts, read 2,543,630 times
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My mom fought cancer for 8 years before passing away. I cried for her pain during those 8 years. When she died, in my arms, I felt a sense of relief for her knowing her suffering was over. I did not cry at her funeral. When my 19 year old son died, also in my arms, it was a different story because it was not expected. I was VERY angry and hard to get along with for about 2 years before I could accept the fact that he was gone forever. That has been 27 years and I still shed a tear almost every day.
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Old 01-06-2014, 03:59 PM
 
562 posts, read 508,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22 View Post
I remember when my grandma died I didn't cry at all, and was very composed at the funeral. Honestly I just felt more bored, and sad for my mom and everyone else who was crying, more than anything. I actually felt a little bit annoyed at all the sobbing, honestly, though I felt bad that I felt that way. It sort of bothered me, I almost wondered if I was a sociopath or something and incapable of feeling deep connections with people, but now that I think about it I think I just processed it differently from most of the other people in my family. My brother didn't cry at the funeral either, though he did afterwards and when he heard about her passing. My grandma lived a great life and her mind was starting to go. Of course I wish she could live forever, and I do miss her and dream she's still with us sometimes, but yeah.

I definitely think I'll cry whenever my parents go though. Hopefully it's not for a long, long long time.
people grieve differently.
you remembering is you grieving..
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Old 01-06-2014, 04:59 PM
 
7,497 posts, read 9,274,846 times
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One might not cry if they either didn't know the relative, didn't know them that well, or they are still in shock over the death of the relative.
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Old 01-07-2014, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Ouachita Mtns of Arkansas
1,923 posts, read 2,543,630 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaxRhapsody View Post
I dont waste time crying over the dead or anything else for the matter. People are way too emotional. Meh, simply put; I dont care.
Well now......ain't you special.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,514 posts, read 3,774,014 times
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When my father died, there was mostly an overwhelming feeling of relief and gladness that he wasn't suffering any more. His last year had been a rapid descent into pain and dementia, of which he was sporadically aware of. I cried when he was in the hospital, in pain and with his mind confused and angry, I cried when he didn't recognize me, I cried when he refused to go to dialysis, knowing that he was signing his death warrant.

At his funeral? No, I didn't cry, much to my children's surprise. I was more wistful, missing my dearly, dearly beloved father, but in truth, he had "died" months earlier. I was glad that he was no longer bound by a body that had let him down so viciously.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:50 PM
Status: "I am in preparation mode!" (set 5 days ago)
 
5,514 posts, read 5,496,825 times
Reputation: 4210
I did not cry when my father died. I wish I had a father now but not him. It is terrible to admit but true. I wonder if I will cry if my mother dies before I do.
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