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Old 03-25-2015, 02:04 PM
 
25,496 posts, read 23,334,537 times
Reputation: 15345

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Quote:
Originally Posted by VJDAY81445 View Post
Your last sentence says it all.

I will not criticize anyone for their ideas/actions concerning a funeral and would not want anyone to criticize my choices.

We are all different and one size does not fit all.

I have had friends who had final wishes that I certainly would never had but they were my friends and I accepted the wishes being my friend wanted those.

What disturbs me is when someone expresses their wishes and their family ignores them when they die.
yes, I know what you mean, that is why I wrote, but that is just me...I know people feel differently...but whenever I've had to go to a funeral, I get a migraine, seeing all those loved ones sad and suffering the loss of a family member, it is so hard....

and yes, that disturbs me to....and believe that is why it should be in a will.....
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Old 03-26-2015, 06:00 PM
 
545 posts, read 435,302 times
Reputation: 1243
I've decided to donate my body to Macy's as a life like mannequin!!
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Old 03-27-2015, 03:24 PM
 
7,112 posts, read 3,807,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
yes, I know what you mean, that is why I wrote, but that is just me...I know people feel differently...but whenever I've had to go to a funeral, I get a migraine, seeing all those loved ones sad and suffering the loss of a family member, it is so hard....

and yes, that disturbs me to....and believe that is why it should be in a will.....
Not in a will.

A will isn't read for weeks afterwards.

SMH!
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Old 03-27-2015, 03:26 PM
 
7,112 posts, read 3,807,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
This is what we did with my MIL, a simple cremation with no ceremony, mainly for financial reasons. She left no assets, no life insurance, and it was the week before Christmas! A
simple" funeral was about $5000, realistically, it would have come to about $8000---$10,000 once you do all the add-ons! We simply couldn't come up with that kind of money in such a short time.

Do be aware, though, that a "simple cremation" does cost, too. I get annoyed when people say "just cremate me" Ok, how do we pay for that? MIL simple cremation came to right at $800. which can be hard to come up with at times. We took advice from Clark Howard, and you need to look for a crematory, or mortuary, NOT a funeral home. funeral homes do cremations, of course, but they charge a fortune. A simple cremation is exactly that, no ceremony, no frills, etc. We found a mortuary that picked up the body, did the cremation, and sent the cremains to us in a nice little box----we were surprised, it was so nice, we half-expected a cardboard box, this was solid wood.....all for exactly $800. Later, we all met at MIL former home and had our own little ceremony, our form of closure. We still have the cremains, not too sure what to do with them

Do keep in mind that burial of cremains costs, too. She has a grave plot, next to her husband, but it would cost about $800+ to open and close, and then some sort of name plate, etc. Just be aware, dying costs, regardless of what you do.....
I would hope everyone could save a few hundred toward this end (again, no pun intended).

Or life insurance can make a funeral home the beneficiary.

And you don't have to "bury" cremains.
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Old 08-16-2015, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
763 posts, read 2,211,906 times
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My Mom died in July after a short fight with cancer. Now, she was very religious but she didn't want a funeral - just a simple grave-side service with family. Her real battle was trying to decide on burial or cremation. Since she wanted to be interred next to Dad in another state, she was worried about my brothers and I having to make the trip while her body was still 'fresh' but had always been taught that cremation was wrong and her body wouldn't be resurrected or whatever.

After many, many discussions with family, friends and preachers, she finally decided to be cremated with burial and grave-side service when ever we saw fit. I must say, while it was easier on our personal schedules, after burying several family members including my Dad and oldest brother with traditional services, it feels very strange to not have that final closure yet. We plan to take her remains to be with Daddy in the fall when the leaves are changing - she was diagnosed last November after the leaves were gone and it was her favorite season.

Word of advice tho - if you don't plan on burying the cremains right away, be wary of choosing a biodegradable urn. We let our intellectually disabled brother picked out a salt rock urn and it isn't compatible with summer humidity in the South. Mom is currently in our secondary refrigerator so it doesn't melt. It's a tad disturbing.
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