U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-01-2014, 08:55 AM
 
Location: not where you are
7,920 posts, read 7,268,742 times
Reputation: 6592

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by FriedAzzro View Post
It isn't. I don't want anyone to say goodbye to my dead body. It's cremation and it's done. It's about being pratical.
My feeling is love me respect me pay homage to me while I can appreciate it. I want cremation no services as well. You can sit with friends and or family and talk of your memories at any time you wish, but crying over my dead body for thousands of dollars and causing others to sit and squirm seems like a waste and torture to me. But if someone really feels the need to pay their respects, I'd appreciate it if they donated some time or funds to a charitable organization.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-01-2014, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,708,331 times
Reputation: 14495
Quote:
Originally Posted by FriedAzzro View Post
It isn't. I don't want anyone to say goodbye to my dead body. It's cremation and it's done. It's about being pratical.
To be honest, I had to look at my mother's body in that casket for a long time before it really hit that she was gone. I think I needed to see for myself. She was taken from us so suddenly. She was only 44.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2014, 09:27 AM
 
Location: not where you are
7,920 posts, read 7,268,742 times
Reputation: 6592
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
To be honest, I had to look at my mother's body in that casket for a long time before it really hit that she was gone. I think I needed to see for myself. She was taken from us so suddenly. She was only 44.
So very sorry for your loss.

If a service is what suits those involved, nothing wrong with that. For many people it's important, no one right choice for all. I do know that I will be leaving notes for those that go against my wishes that I will haunt their dreams if they hold a wake or any such organized service for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2014, 10:13 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,265,344 times
Reputation: 22271
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
To be honest, I had to look at my mother's body in that casket for a long time before it really hit that she was gone. I think I needed to see for myself. She was taken from us so suddenly. She was only 44.
It would be very hard to accept the reality of losing your mother when she was only 44 years old. It would have been wrong to have denied you the time you needed to be with her before burial and to process that she was gone.

As others have said -- every situation really is different . . . I am sorry you lost your mother at such a young age. And I am really glad someone was astute about allowing you time to think about what it meant for her to be gone from this planet.

Funerals can be of great comfort to those left behind, as well as offering the beginnings of a sense of understanding about the loss . . . and often, some closure, as well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2014, 10:28 AM
 
3,442 posts, read 4,472,559 times
Reputation: 5387
Quote:
Originally Posted by John7777 View Post
Yes, the whole funeral business is nothing more than a scam.
I disagree.

I have nothing but praise for the 2 funeral homes ( in 2 different states) that I dealt with last month after my wife's death.

Everything got carried out exactly according to my wife's wishes (which she made known after being diagnosed with ALS )
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2014, 04:33 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,265,344 times
Reputation: 22271
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddy52 View Post
I disagree.

I have nothing but praise for the 2 funeral homes ( in 2 different states) that I dealt with last month after my wife's death.

Everything got carried out exactly according to my wife's wishes (which she made known after being diagnosed with ALS )
I agree and I have worked with quite a few funeral homes over the years - as I am a liturgical organist (not currently engaged in that field) and I worked with funeral directors both through churches and with providing service music at various funeral home chapels.

I have found the folks I worked with to be very professional, genuinely caring people. I am sure that, like every field, there are those who are not as professional as others -- but it is not a field that people get into without a real commitment to families in grief. And, it does require various professional licenses.

Funerals are not inexpensive so it may be folks feel like that is where the "scam" comes in . . . but just like any retail store, people can select whatever casket they want -- folks don't have to go with the most expensive choices. And the casket is often the one most expensive part of a funeral.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2014, 03:54 PM
 
3,893 posts, read 9,363,105 times
Reputation: 3042
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
To be honest, I had to look at my mother's body in that casket for a long time before it really hit that she was gone. I think I needed to see for myself. She was taken from us so suddenly. She was only 44.
I can relate to this. My mom was 48, and I didn't see her body after she died. Months later I asked to see her autopsy photos to feel sure it was actually her. I mean, I believed it was but I wanted to be SURE. My dad died 10 years later and when asked if I wanted to see him before cremation, I knew I did. For me, it was the best decision.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2014, 05:15 PM
 
399 posts, read 510,354 times
Reputation: 701
Quote:
Originally Posted by FriedAzzro View Post
I had a 98 year old great uncle who passed away 2 months ago and he had left a personal will stating his wishes. He didn't want any kind of funeral, religious or not.

His body was picked up by the mortuary and he was cremated the same day without anyone present, according to his wishes. His ashes were buried in his wife's grave with a few relatives present.

I think this is a great solution for someone that is an atheist like me and I think I would like the same.

If you are atheist, why would it matter where you are buried? If you believe in no God, and therefore no afterlife, why would you even care where you were buried- it shouldn't matter to you because you would be just ashes. Just a pile of ashes, gone. If you truly believe in atheism, that is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2014, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Way South of the Volvo Line
2,776 posts, read 6,966,626 times
Reputation: 2824
Aside from religious belief, funerals and end-of-life rituals are for the living. It helps those grieving to find closure when someone dear to them is never to be seen again. So you need to keep this in mind when you leave instructions for your own burial wishes---whether or not you are being thoughtful of those that loved you in life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-03-2014, 04:22 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,510 posts, read 11,489,335 times
Reputation: 21003
I think its up to the deceased person and their wishes what they would like ... funerals as well as sad can be full of fake mourners, who just tag along for the day out.. Ive seen it done.. a free drink and dinner.. not that I can understand that for one minute as I hate funerals .. would do anything to get out of them.. I was brought up by my uncle and aunt and they died within months of each other...and I refused to go to their cremations.. it was so final and I couldnt face it... I was a teenager at the time but no amount of prodding , poking and blackmail from family members could push me to to..... and Id like mine the same way. with no one there or a small group of close family,, cheap and cheerful for me...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top