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Old 02-22-2014, 05:50 PM
 
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My husband went first and had a military funeral. I do not want a funeral, but I would have never have done that to him had I gone first. Now that I'm the one left, I will not have a funeral when I go.
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Old 02-23-2014, 04:09 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,550 posts, read 18,218,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molli View Post
My husband went first and had a military funeral. I do not want a funeral, but I would have never have done that to him had I gone first. Now that I'm the one left, I will not have a funeral when I go.
Not done what to your husband? Tell him you didn't want a funeral? Why? So he could have closure?

I was so upset when my husband told me no wake or funeral. I was like "you won't be there! It's for me! Well, the way things went with the VA, he didn't get cremated for almost 6 months after his death so it was just me at the cemetery and it was okay.

You should talk with family members about this to be sure everyone is on the same page.
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Old 02-23-2014, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Long Neck,De
4,793 posts, read 6,526,149 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molli View Post
My husband went first and had a military funeral. I do not want a funeral, but I would have never have done that to him had I gone first. Now that I'm the one left, I will not have a funeral when I go.

You will not be in control at that point. My family knows I want to be cremated and where to spread my ashes. I would not take the grieving process away from them if they need that.
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Old 03-24-2014, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Not where I want to be
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cablejockey View Post
I can see why some would want to forego a big splashy funeral, but, this seems so cold. Its as if nobody got to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye to a shell? The person/spirit is no longer there. It would be like saying goodbye to a mannequin.

I know that when my time comes, I have made it crystal clear: No funeral, no memorial, nothing. Take whatever organs are salvagable and cremate the remains. Sprinkle my ashes in my favorite places.

I don't want people to have to spend upwards of $10K for funeral, wake, etc. What a waste of money!
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Old 03-24-2014, 04:10 PM
 
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This is what happened with my maternal grandparents. I wasn't around when my grandfather died, but I was in the house when my grandmother died. It was a bit strange to me as a funeral service would be a way for the mourners to say a final good-bye. But for the person who has died I can see why one would wish for there not to be any ceremony at all.
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Old 03-27-2014, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Somewhere.
190 posts, read 310,555 times
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What many of us fail to realize in our grief-stricken states is that the funeral is not for the loved one who passed but instead for the family/friends of that person so say good-bye, honor that person, etc. My favorite uncle lived in another state and recently passed. The news of his death literally brought me to my knees. He and my dad were closer than two brothers could ever be so, needless to say, the news also floored Dad as well. Uncle's explicit wishes were no funeral, direct cremation, no memorial service. Period. Out of love and devotion to my uncle, my aunt honored his wishes to the letter. Dad had a hard time with this until we explained to him and made him understand that these wishes were Uncle's and of his own choosing. They were not to hurt anyone but instead to spare everyone from seeing him in any other way but alive and well. To me, these wishes along with the knowledge that he no longer suffers made his passing more bearable. There are no set rules on grief or whether or not one or one's family chooses to have a funeral/memorial service. It's all a matter of personal wishes that should be honored.
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Old 04-01-2014, 12:34 AM
 
Location: Shingle Springs, CA
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I am also an atheist.

We just had a death in the family, and being an introvert, I was mortified that I had to be in a limo, and be part of the "show" of the funeral, and then my mother in law wanted a traditional Jewish shiva, but my father in law insisted on a wake with all the food and party. I was glad when that day was over. My husband honored his mother's wishes as best he could.

I asked my young adult daughter, what do you want to do with me? I don't care, although I'd rather not take up space in a cemetery, it's not sustainable. When I suggested cremation, she was grossed out because of the burning part.

She suggested donating my body to science, since I'm a scientist by profession. And I agreed, that would be a good use. So that will be my plan.
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Old 04-01-2014, 01:51 AM
 
3,936 posts, read 5,456,785 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FriedAzzro View Post
I had a 98 year old great uncle who passed away 2 months ago and he had left a personal will stating his wishes. He didn't want any kind of funeral, religious or not.

His body was picked up by the mortuary and he was cremated the same day without anyone present, according to his wishes. His ashes were buried in his wife's grave with a few relatives present.

I think this is a great solution for someone that is an atheist like me and I think I would like the same.
I think it's a wonderful idea. I hate funerals. They just seem odd, the tradition that everyone goes by and looks at the body. I think it's strange. I've told my family they can throw me in a ditch for all I care. I don't want a funeral. I'll be cremated, with no services, or heck, I may give my body to Oklahoma University.
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Old 04-01-2014, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Duncan, Oklahoma
2,583 posts, read 1,186,807 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess5 View Post
I think it's a wonderful idea. I hate funerals. They just seem odd, the tradition that everyone goes by and looks at the body. I think it's strange. I've told my family they can throw me in a ditch for all I care. I don't want a funeral. I'll be cremated, with no services, or heck, I may give my body to Oklahoma University.


That's what my family has done. My father died September 12, 2012, and his body went to OU. Each member of my immediate family (me, too) has already willed his/her body to Oklahoma University.
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Old 04-01-2014, 09:13 AM
 
Location: not where you are
7,932 posts, read 7,291,103 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justducky2 View Post
I am also an atheist.

We just had a death in the family, and being an introvert, I was mortified that I had to be in a limo, and be part of the "show" of the funeral, and then my mother in law wanted a traditional Jewish shiva, but my father in law insisted on a wake with all the food and party. I was glad when that day was over. My husband honored his mother's wishes as best he could.

I asked my young adult daughter, what do you want to do with me? I don't care, although I'd rather not take up space in a cemetery, it's not sustainable. When I suggested cremation, she was grossed out because of the burning part.

She suggested donating my body to science, since I'm a scientist by profession. And I agreed, that would be a good use. So that will be my plan.
I had thought about that and then researched it, but to my understanding, my body would be refused, they don't want fat people. So to the ditch for a pitt fire it will be
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