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Wishing you peace and so glad that you got to visit and that your Dad was well enough to truly enjoy your visit.
A couple of years ago I lost my sister, suddenly....but the fact that she and I had just been on the phone, as we often were and had a nice long chatty session filled with laughter somehow comforted me.
Be comforted by the time you spent with him. Call him and visit as much as possible on the phone as he is able.
You are a lucky individual that you recognize what a wonderful Dad you have and were able to tell him that now.
He must be very proud of you, as he obviously raised you to be a caring and loving man. Be at peace.
Sounds like a good final visit. My dad is only 70, and dying from cancer. And lives 800 miles away. He came out to our house with my mom and brother for Thanksgiving last November, and I just knew then that it was probably the last time I'd see him. Our final meal together as a family, and the last time he'd see his grandchildren. Due to obligations to my own family and job, I highly likely won't see him again, but we talk on the phone regularly as I check in. Plus my final memory of him will be him looking healthy and normal, because he's lost a lot of weight since then and his hair.
Be glad that you know it is coming and can have a final visit, I am not trying to be mean. My Dad was killed by an accident at work, I would have given anything to be able to say goodbye.
My Dad has about 2 to 3 months left. (estimate) I live 800 miles away and am not financially able to get there more than once. I am wondering how to say goodbye. He is the best father a guy could have had, I have nothing but respect and thankfulness that he is MY father.
I want to let him know it.
Any ideas on "the last visit"? He is 85 years old and has prostate cancer that has spread to his spine and lymph nodes. He has been recommended to hospice care so time is short.
It kills me that I am so far away.
Firstly I'm sorry you and your family are going through this incredibly tough time. A couple of years back I was in a similar situation..my dad was dying and I live an the other side of the world to him. He actually asked me to come home and bring his grandchildren to see him one last time. We did exactly that and I was in a position to do so for 6 weeks. Everyday we spent time with my dad…he only had a couple of good hours a day so thats when we would visit with him…other times I would go back later and just sit with him..help him with a drink -brush his hair-talk to him ..sometimes just sit quietly and hold his hand…on the last day we were there I felt it was incredibly stressful for everyone…after my kids had left I sat with my dad quietly told him how much I loved him …i told him about how my children have little quirks and other things that come from him…i told him how incredibly lucky I was to have a father like him…I hugged him for a long time and kissed him and said my goodbye …I tried to keep my emotions in check for him..I didn't want to stress him any more than he already was…for me I had been saying goodbye for the entire 6 weeks….he lived for another two months and I actually tried to fly home to try for one more goodbye but he passed away as I flew out. I felt I was incredibly lucky to have had that opportunity to be with him and just spend that time with him. It won't be easy but sometimes just being there is enough and all they need.
My Dad has about 2 to 3 months left. (estimate) I live 800 miles away and am not financially able to get there more than once. I am wondering how to say goodbye. He is the best father a guy could have had, I have nothing but respect and thankfulness that he is MY father.
I want to let him know it.
Any ideas on "the last visit"? He is 85 years old and has prostate cancer that has spread to his spine and lymph nodes. He has been recommended to hospice care so time is short.
It kills me that I am so far away.
Write him a letter and say what you would like to say to him. If he is coherent and can understand the letter, I am sure he would appreciate it very much. My brother passed away about 3 years ago. I was so overwhelmed by the situation that all I could say was "I'm sorry Ron, I'm so sorry Ron." I felt terrible that I could not do more to help him feel better and I didn't want to lose him. Now, in retrospect, I wish someone would have given me something to calm me down so I could have just sat and held his hand and told him how much I loved him instead of just being stuck on "I'm sorry."
I was a foster kid for a few years in high school. My folks had died when I was young. When I heard that my foster dad was dying, I wrote him a letter thanking him for giving me a home and telling him I don't know what would have happened to me if he hadn't been so kind. My foster mother told me the letter made him cry, but that he really probably needed to cry any way and it probably did him a lot of good to hear from me. That made me feel good after what they had done for me in my life, I was glad I could give something back before he was gone.
Take heart, I'm sure your dad knows how you feel, but just take the time to write him or send a card.
Wartrace~ I'd like to talk with you for a story I'm writing for Slate, but the system won't let me send you a direct message. Will you please DM me? Thanks~Melissa [url=http://www.slate.com/authors.melissa_jayne_kinsey.html]Melissa Jayne Kinsey[/url]
I am "at peace" with my fathers pending death. He lived a great life. After talking with him it seems that he is not afraid or worried that he is dying. He has accepted the end as natural.
Yes but still this doesnt make it any easier seeing him go thru this does it buddy?
Just try to be there AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!! -- Be by his side,hold his hand,etc............
Location: Central Bay Area, CA as of Jan 2010...but still a proud Texan from Houston!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wartrace
Update
I just returned from visiting my Dad. He had his ups and downs during the visit but he knew I was there with him and we had a chance to talk for the last time.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
I am "at peace" with my fathers pending death. He lived a great life. After talking with him it seems that he is not afraid or worried that he is dying. He has accepted the end as natural.
Dear Wartrace,So glad you are at peace.Have a wonderful life,okay?
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Saying goodbye to your dad
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