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Old 11-05-2015, 08:05 PM
 
Location: League City, Texas
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No. In fact, I've never even seen or known of anyone having a "wake". Just visitation at the funeral home. People often bring food to the family, though.

I have seen the money thing on The Sopranos.
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Old 11-06-2015, 02:15 AM
 
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I would consider money given at a funeral degrading. We've always paid our own way, we don't nee a handout at the end. Just plant 'em on the cheap and don't make a beggar out of me at the end...
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Old 11-08-2015, 07:29 PM
 
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Giving money is very common in the Polish community. As is food at the wake and a sit-down meal, in a restaurant, after the burial.

I attended a wake in Chicago that had a full buffet AND a TV to watch the Bears game.
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Old 11-08-2015, 07:42 PM
Status: "Amused by BF/V." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
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I've been a pallbearer about 20 times and attended many dozens of funerals, mostly Catholic and half of those, Ukrainian Catholic (Orthodox).

Any money donated is usually towards having a Mass said for the deceased and their family and/or a donation to a charity of the deceased's choice - often in lieu of flowers.

The deceased's family pays for a meal and drinks (alcoholic and otherwise) for all attendees after the ceremony - usually at a rented hall or Church basement.

If a smaller affair, the after-ceremony stuff might take place at a relative's home.
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Old 11-08-2015, 08:37 PM
 
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Yes, giving a card with money in it is very common at the wake or funeral.
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Old 11-16-2015, 02:23 AM
 
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Equal Op
It is appropriate to give money usually in an envelope surreptitiously slipped into an offerings box at the funeral home. Ask the funeral arranger if the deceased wanted donations made to a charity of their choice like Cancer Society, CNIB, Heart and Lung, SPCA, and so on. There are donation forms for these charities you can put your check in.
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:56 PM
 
3,964 posts, read 5,254,642 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80 View Post
Yes, giving a card with money in it is very common at the wake or funeral.
I think that IN SOME PLACES this is true. The traditions seem to be local, however, and some consider this to be problematic. So I would make sure (ask people who might know) about your specific location.
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Old 11-16-2015, 06:11 PM
 
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In my country, it is customary. To give money. Why not in other countries including US? I don't know. When on this channel I am watching there is NOTHING but commercials about metlife and how the loved ones left by the deceased have money problems for funeral cost and credit card debt left by the deceased.

So ya why is not customary anywhere when death is always sudden and funeral cost is always costly?
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Old 11-18-2015, 11:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supergirlygirl View Post
In my country, it is customary. To give money. Why not in other countries including US? I don't know. When on this channel I am watching there is NOTHING but commercials about metlife and how the loved ones left by the deceased have money problems for funeral cost and credit card debt left by the deceased.

So ya why is not customary anywhere when death is always sudden and funeral cost is always costly?
Custom and tradition are custom and tradition. One would have to research the roots of this to figure out WHY people do what they do. Just accept that this particular tradition is spotty, and is highly local. I repeat that we all need to find out what is tradition wherever we live. If you are adapting to a new country and a new location, it is particularly important to find out what the local tradition is and go along with that, rather than assuming that everyone there is wrong.
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Old 11-18-2015, 06:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80 View Post
Yes, giving a card with money in it is very common at the wake or funeral.
I agree, plus bringing a dish is helpful and encouraged. It may have started as a way to help fellow immigrants, especially the poorer members of the community, and the practice simply continued and became customary well after the fortunes of everyone improved.
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