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Old 09-24-2014, 09:29 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,354,649 times
Reputation: 28970

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DandiDay View Post
Also, I wonder if I did it purely for her, rather than for me, not being able to "cope" watching her die slowly over the past 9 months. Was I the coward? Should I have called her and told her what I did (below).
My guess is that you did it for both of you and that's as it should be. Life is for the living so you had to come to terms with your mother's impending death. The call likely helped you with that and will continue to. As for death, I always look upon it as life's final and perhaps greatest adventure. That you wee ale to say comforting tins to your mother likely helped her along that path. She knew she was loved and she had permission to go.

CArizona, there have been so many losses in your life that I marvel at your strength and composure. You serve as a great example to all of us, especially those who have yet to suffer the loss of a loved one.

I have lost all my grandparents, aunts and uncles and both of my parents. I have five children and 10 grandchildren and pray that every one of them outlives me (I'm now 68). I cannot imagine the pain of losing one of them. Should it ever happen I will remember you as the example of coping gracefully and continuing on.
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Old 09-24-2014, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,179,672 times
Reputation: 3514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
My guess is that you did it for both of you and that's as it should be. Life is for the living so you had to come to terms with your mother's impending death. The call likely helped you with that and will continue to. As for death, I always look upon it as life's final and perhaps greatest adventure. That you wee ale to say comforting tins to your mother likely helped her along that path. She knew she was loved and she had permission to go.

CArizona, there have been so many losses in your life that I marvel at your strength and composure. You serve as a great example to all of us, especially those who have yet to suffer the loss of a loved one.

I have lost all my grandparents, aunts and uncles and both of my parents. I have five children and 10 grandchildren and pray that every one of them outlives me (I'm now 68). I cannot imagine the pain of losing one of them. Should it ever happen I will remember you as the example of coping gracefully and continuing on.
Thanks!!.. When I was young, I sat around the "campfire" and listened to my parents and other relatives talk about the hardships they endured during the Depression. Or, "Dust Bowl."...They weren't full of misery. They were survivors. (And proud of it!)...They were able to add some humor to their tales and stories because they got "past" the hardships...I don't want to spend my days feeling sorry for myself. My parents taught me that life is full of ups and downs and "unexpected circumstances."...So, I try to "roll with the punches" too. (Best I can!)

Last edited by CArizona; 09-24-2014 at 11:37 AM..
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Old 09-25-2014, 08:38 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,354,649 times
Reputation: 28970
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Thanks!!.. When I was young, I sat around the "campfire" and listened to my parents and other relatives talk about the hardships they endured during the Depression. Or, "Dust Bowl."...They weren't full of misery. They were survivors. (And proud of it!)...They were able to add some humor to their tales and stories because they got "past" the hardships...I don't want to spend my days feeling sorry for myself. My parents taught me that life is full of ups and downs and "unexpected circumstances."...So, I try to "roll with the punches" too. (Best I can!)
I think you're doing it beautifully.
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Old 09-26-2014, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,179,672 times
Reputation: 3514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
My guess is that you did it for both of you and that's as it should be. Life is for the living so you had to come to terms with your mother's impending death. The call likely helped you with that and will continue to. As for death, I always look upon it as life's final and perhaps greatest adventure. That you wee ale to say comforting tins to your mother likely helped her along that path. She knew she was loved and she had permission to go.

CArizona, there have been so many losses in your life that I marvel at your strength and composure. You serve as a great example to all of us, especially those who have yet to suffer the loss of a loved one.

I have lost all my grandparents, aunts and uncles and both of my parents. I have five children and 10 grandchildren and pray that every one of them outlives me (I'm now 68). I cannot imagine the pain of losing one of them. Should it ever happen I will remember you as the example of coping gracefully and continuing on.
I hope your children and grandkids outlive you too..And, I hope you and your wife have a long and happy life together. (Despite your recent health problems.)...My husband and I were close too and we enjoyed working together as a team. Sure miss him!
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Old 09-26-2014, 11:59 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,179,672 times
Reputation: 3514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
I think you're doing it beautifully.
Thanks!...It helps to feel part of something "bigger" than just me!...I feel like a branch on a tree. A tree with deep roots...My loved ones moved on to a different "place" but our family tree is still standing.. I draw strength and wisdom from our "collective tree." My family members "live-on" through me...We weren't always a "perfect bunch!" We made plenty of mistakes. But, we tried to learn (and profit and gain) from our mistakes..I can still hear my Dad say: "No pain, no gain!" And, he really meant it!
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