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Old 09-05-2014, 11:17 AM
 
Location: East Coast
673 posts, read 552,304 times
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There are so many practical things one can do to handle one's grief or depression. Certainly, medication is an adjunctive route. However, I would only recommend it as part of an overall approach, not just taking the meds alone.

Studies show that counseling, along with the appropriate, monitored meds can be very successful when used in tandem. Don't feel "weak" or have guilt about taking them...it could be very necessary in your situation!

Both have helped me in dealing both with my mom's death, as well as my cancer diagnoses. I mistakenly thought that I was "stronger" than that...but then only crashed and burned much worse. Both medication and active counseling helped me deal with my own depression and grief.

You can also do very purposeful things to deal with your grief, and "retrain" your brain to cope with it in a more positive manner.

Do things like pray. Divert your grief by purposefully thinking of other pleasant memories, or "visuals".
Start to journal, especially when these depressive thoughts begin to enter and take over your thoughts.

The very act of writing things down, and closing the journal afterwards, gives you "permission" to move on at that point, and go about your daily business.

Soon, you will learn that you can grieve at the appropriate times, even if it's once a day - but after journaling or praying about it, you then have the "permission" (and relief!) to move forward with other things.

I wish you well, my friend. Sympathies and good wishes to you, as well as hugs!

Dandiday
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Old 10-08-2014, 01:29 AM
 
17 posts, read 18,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
I've had to deal with grief on a few occasions. However I've never had to cope with the loss of a loved one as my family is pretty small and still intact.

For those who have to deal with significant grief over the loss of a spouse or child or pet has anyone had to go on medication to pull you through? I wonder how I'd cope with such a loss because my wife is on a 2-week vacation with her sisters; I had to stay behind to care for my elderly mother, but sitting in the house alone even for a few hours feels like doom and I feel a significant sense of loss, like I've lost her or something. The feeling is terrible and I actually experienced feelings of depression until she contacted me via AIM. It's only the 3rd day with 11 to go. I must be a real wuss. But do some members here take medication to cope with a truly great loss like a family member?
No not everyone who is grieving HAS to take meds. I did take paroxetine (generic Paxil for anxiety/depression for 6 months) and zolpidem (generic Ambien for insomnia-this I only took for 1 month) after Mom's passing while I attended bereavement counseling, dealt with the legalities, working, school, and adjusting to taking over my teenage siblings care/grieving. Losing anyone is extremely stressful and can be more difficult/complicated for some than others.

After a few weeks of counseling, I knew I needed more help than just counseling and went to see my primary doctor. He gave me a new insight into grieving and explained how the drugs could be used temporarily to adjust and grieve properly in addition to counseling. I had appointments after starting meds at 2 weeks (check usage, @1 month stopped sleep aid), 2 months (checked how paroxetine was working as antidepressants/anxiety can take a few weeks to months to truly work),6 months (agreed to started lowering dosage until I tapered off completely), and at 9 months to check how I was doing without any meds (I was still attending counseling at this point). Don't feel like a wuss just because you might need extra support from other people or meds. I felt extremely lonely, sense of impending doom, sleeping 2-4 hrs a night,irritable, and had trouble focusing at work.

Mind you, I was really hesitant to seek counseling and meds to help me but I'm extremely glad I did. I had the mentality I hear from others that meds are "the easy way out." They both help me out more than I thought. You do need to take time for yourself and grieve properly otherwise you might end up even more depressed/sad/anxious without any help and this can affect your health more than you think. Taking small walks or just a few hours to yourself by doing something you enjoy helps relieve some stress. It's normal to feel sad or overwhelmed and there's nothing shameful in needing a little help. Also, I can easily see how people could just keep on taking these types of meds for the rest of their lives but that's not really dealing with your feelings or health. Your loved one is physically gone but the memories and feelings of joy they bought to you are always there to remember.
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Old 10-08-2014, 01:27 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,433 posts, read 18,150,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueOne2 View Post

Also, I can easily see how people could just keep on taking these types of meds for the rest of their lives but that's not really dealing with your feelings or health. Your loved one is physically gone but the memories and feelings of joy they bought to you are always there to remember.
The paroxitine is not "hiding" any of my grief or feelings. They are helping me to live a "normal" life. I can't imagine how I would have been after my husband died if I wasn't already on Paroxitine! I would have committed suicide. Being on it, I was already thinking about it. This place saved my life. When I tried to cut my dosage in half last spring I became a basket case. My dad's unexpected death back in '04 just did my brain in.

Please don't lump all people together when it comes to taking "happy pills". I used to do the same. Until I needed them myself. Now I understand that sometimes a person can not control the chemicals in one's own brain.
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Old 10-10-2014, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
5,509 posts, read 2,591,975 times
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fter a few weeks I could feel depression setting in so I increased my dose to max (I'm on two separate meds). It seemed that the meds were not enough though and I started on 'natural treatments' like eating a lot of raw cashews and a lot of avocado plus a range of therapeutic nutrients (omega 3, magnesium plus B6 and so on). I am now free from depression and am coping with the grief but I'm still not highly motivated and don't have much sense of fun (none at all).

Just a bit of background, I have lost my wife to divorce and my younger son to drug addiction and now first son to suicide. I felt an overwhelming sense of loss and I couldn't bear to be alone. I struggled immensely with my sons suicide.

So for me, medication was essential I am sure. I don't think I would have made it otherwise. Even now, if I forget my meds one day the next day I regress.
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Old 10-12-2014, 11:38 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,433 posts, read 18,150,188 times
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(((Hugs))) to you down under the earth!
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Old 10-12-2014, 11:47 AM
 
325 posts, read 226,403 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
A couple of weeks after my last parent died, I had to call my doctor and ask for medication. He gave me Parocatine...another name for Paxil. Within two days the black cloud that was enveloping my brain disappeared and my head felt so light. I was able to drive Dad's car down to Texas to give to my daughter. I have been on it since 2004 now. 3 months ago I asked my doc if I could try cutting my dose in half. She said sure. I did terrible and just last week she put me back on full strength. Or what I was used to. Within two days my head was light again and the black cloud was gone again. Dad's death seems to have done something to the chemical balance in my brain. I didn't seem to have it when Mom died. Maybe I did but had no insurance, hence no doctor. I just trudged through life for 12 more years until Dad passed. TG I was on them when my husband succumbed to cancer. I was bad enough with them, I think I might have given into the thoughts of suicide if I hadn't.

I feel no shame about being on my happy pills for life.
You're the perfect example of why this type of medication is so dangerous. You're going to have to take it for life to keep the artificial well-being.
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Old 10-12-2014, 04:28 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,433 posts, read 18,150,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TitanWarrior View Post
You're the perfect example of why this type of medication is so dangerous. You're going to have to take it for life to keep the artificial well-being.
It's not my fault the chemistry in my brain changed after the unexpected deaths of both my parents. So I should go back into depression and being suicidal just to get off the pills? I don't think so. I will keep my chemistry balanced, thank you very much.
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Old 10-12-2014, 05:24 PM
 
3,942 posts, read 3,874,434 times
Reputation: 4682
Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
I've had to deal with grief on a few occasions. However I've never had to cope with the loss of a loved one as my family is pretty small and still intact.

For those who have to deal with significant grief over the loss of a spouse or child or pet has anyone had to go on medication to pull you through? I wonder how I'd cope with such a loss because my wife is on a 2-week vacation with her sisters; I had to stay behind to care for my elderly mother, but sitting in the house alone even for a few hours feels like doom and I feel a significant sense of loss, like I've lost her or something. The feeling is terrible and I actually experienced feelings of depression until she contacted me via AIM. It's only the 3rd day with 11 to go. I must be a real wuss. But do some members here take medication to cope with a truly great loss like a family member?
For some people, loss through death can cause severe depression and/or anxiety to get worse. For someone who is already feeling suicidal, dealing with death and loss of loved ones can compound the situation further.

I lost my little dog, and went through lots of stress at that time.. I had to take natural supplements to deal with my anxiety and depression.. he was with me for over 15 years, and at one point, I couldn't stop tearing up just thinking about him.

Watching someone suffer can be painful.
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Old 10-13-2014, 12:06 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,740,923 times
Reputation: 7078
Grief can affect people in so many different physical ways. With me, it was abdominal. When I'm stressed severely, everything goes to my stomach. Others get depressed, suicidal, develop migraines, and a host of other physical or mental issues. For the depression, medicines are oftentimes the best way to deal with grief. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and meds correct that imbalance. For others, like me, meds to stabilize my digestive system were necessary. Every person is different, and some may need meds, and some may not. If you're worried, though, it's best to check with our doctor.
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Old 10-13-2014, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,760,954 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TitanWarrior View Post
You're the perfect example of why this type of medication is so dangerous. You're going to have to take it for life to keep the artificial well-being.
And... what's your answer? My cousin attempted suicide three times. I'm quite sure that she was disappointed to wake up and find that the ER staff had saved her life. She's now disabled and will be on medication for the rest of her life. Those suicide attempts happened because she stopped taking her medication and going to counseling. Would you deny a diabetic or a seizure patient medication? It's the same thing.

How dare you judge?
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