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Old 09-20-2014, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,350 posts, read 23,985,792 times
Reputation: 24383

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Hi Cyn! I am very sorry for the loss of your DH. I know from reading you do have financial worries. I am hoping you have applied for the SS death benefit(it's not much), and your SS widow's benefits. That should be 71.5% of your DH's SS. I am sorry about bringing this up but it's something that has built in delays so you need to apply ASAP.

I think about you every day!
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Old 09-20-2014, 04:04 PM
 
Location: In a house
21,839 posts, read 20,755,347 times
Reputation: 14780
It's good to remind people of things that may help especially when their thinking is not always clear. I started getting this done before my DH passed and it is all done now thankfully. At least then I was able to think more clearly at times if I'd have tried to do it now it would be difficult to say the least. While my DH was in the rehab I took care of several things in between driving to the hospital and then sitting hours with him. I look back now and wonder how I did it and I do know I didn't do it alone. God was always there for me.
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Old 09-20-2014, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there
18,052 posts, read 19,944,375 times
Reputation: 40832
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
Hi Cyn! I am very sorry for the loss of your DH. I know from reading you do have financial worries. I am hoping you have applied for the SS death benefit(it's not much), and your SS widow's benefits. That should be 71.5% of your DH's SS. I am sorry about bringing this up but it's something that has built in delays so you need to apply ASAP.

I think about you every day!
This is good info for cyn and anybody else grieving to know I thought the widow's benefits had been stopped years ago. See we all learn something new readying together.

cyn will your friend from CA being come out anytime soon or others to help you get your ducks in a row? Even if it just being there with you I'm glad DH & you took care of a lot of things beforehand we all need to do that.
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Old 09-20-2014, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
10,664 posts, read 7,645,942 times
Reputation: 31959
Just coming to say hi and give my Cyn a big big hug.

The suitcase is ready, we are leaving tomorrow to spend a few days in Myrtle Beach, SC. The sweetpea is super excited!
We should have wi-fi there so I'll try to stop by!
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Old 09-20-2014, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,040 posts, read 56,773,401 times
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Hey, Cyn, good to hear you're getting out and trying to stay busy. One foot in front of the other ....

Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat View Post
First thing in the morning and evenings are my worst times. Wonder if that is the same for everyone??
For me the worst was around 4 p.m., when I was wrapping things up at work, preparing to go home - and bam! I realized he wouldn't be at home waiting for me, either sitting on the front porch in good weather, or inside cleaning up the kitchen or starting dinner. Many days I just stayed late at the office (fat lot of good that did me - my job was eliminated last year), and many days I cried the entire drive home.

Of course, the cats were glad to see me, but it's not quite the same.

Bedtime still is hard - I keep expecting him to come bounding into the room, chattering about this or that as he usually did - and it's been almost three years. I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
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Old 09-20-2014, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
40 posts, read 29,199 times
Reputation: 29
Default Comfort for the downhearted

[quote=cynwldkat;36529717]To my dearest angels, friends and other caregivers from my former thread in the caregivers thread. It is time for me to move on from that thread as I am no longer a caregiver...sigh... Now I am trying to pick up the pieces and facing those emotions of grief. As I wake up each day I pray it will be easier but I suppose I am asking for to much to soon. Each day seems harder as I wander through my home with only my critters to talk to. Through the caregivers thread I have met the most caring loving people anyone could imagine. It has given me so much more faith in the human race. I honestly do not think I could have made it through this without their constant support and love. I would not be able to recognize them if I saw them on the street but I know their hearts! So now I will walk this new road and try to find myself. I so pray my friends will continue to walk with me. I also hope this thread will help others who may not wish to post but just read this thread and will get some strength and direction from this thread. Sometimes a person just needs to see they are not alone in their situation and it helps. We help each other![/QUOTE)



I must admit I feel your pain, not having your loved one to talk to daily, however, life goes on and the grieving will become manageable. Keep strong and remember the encouragement in Isaiah 41:10 "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you."
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Old 09-20-2014, 08:47 PM
 
499 posts, read 616,596 times
Reputation: 425
I just stumbled across this thread and can only send kind thoughts. I was suddenly widowed in my forties--a whole other experience--but was carried along by the kindness of everyone around me. Please take care of yourself as you move through this new phase of your life. You may feel for a while as if you've lost a layer of skin; it will pass.
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Old 09-20-2014, 10:36 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
336 posts, read 303,195 times
Reputation: 235
Cynwidcat we threaders and posters will walk with you. I realize we cannot offer
perhaps the level of consolation you need , make no mistake we love you
and you giving nature. I'm now a patient advocate and worked in the hospital
or homecare setting for 47 years, but the focus is on you and our prayers that
you will be joyful SOON ! We desire your input to Data!

Last edited by Inattentive; 09-20-2014 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 09-21-2014, 04:20 AM
 
Location: Ohio
2,178 posts, read 7,738,681 times
Reputation: 3889
Cyn, just found that you started a new thread. I think it was a good idea. You know how many people are concerned about you and your future.
Once you get some of the have to things taken care that always comes with the loss of a loved one don't be afraid to spread your wings a little and get out and do new things, get involved with your church, maybe even play bingo or do some kind of volunteer work in a field that interests you. Anything to keep occupied.
It sounds like you have a lot to take care of where you live. if you think it is more than you can handle maybe you might consider down sizing. As long as you can keep your critters of course. Or maybe you want to stay where you are.
The main thing is to be practical about what is best for you in the long term.
You have been through a long, agonizing ordeal. It saps a persons health both mentally and physically. My point is that now you have to take of YOU.
I'll follow this thread also and try to offer encouragement or what I think is advice from time to time. If I say anything you don't agree with it isn't trying to be bossy or anything. Although I did harp on getting Hospice sooner.
You are a strong practical lady and now it is up to you to make decisions that are best for you not just for tomorrow, next week or next month, but for years ahead. You may have many years left to you to remember the happy times with your DH and even some happy times in the future with your family and getting involved with things you might enjoy.
Again, I wish you the best.
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Old 09-21-2014, 05:25 AM
 
Location: Florida (SW)
38,318 posts, read 18,053,160 times
Reputation: 46256
Good Sunday Morning cyn and friends.
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