Is it appropriate to show up at the funeral of a person you don't know well?

[vanizorc]

I just found out a few hours ago that one of my favorite professors met an untimely death a month ago (was searching for some of her recent papers when the first link on Google showed up as "Obituary"). Needless to say, I was devastated, and couldn't stop crying for hours. However, since that professor and I kind of lost touch after I transferred to another university (undergrad level) three years ago, I didn't find out about her passing until now, through the Google link. Obviously, I've now missed the celebratory reception/memorial service, which was scheduled in mid-January.

But I am wondering, from a hypothetical standpoint, if I had the opportunity to attend her funeral, would it have been socially appropriate? She and I were merely professor and student, having had a few discussions (regarding course material, etc) during her office hours back then. Typical stuff. She knew me by name; however, none of her family, friends, or husband knew me. It was pretty much just a cordial student-professor relation that we had, but behind the scenes I secretly idolized her -- I loved her lectures and thought she was brilliant in her research interests.

Now, in her online public obituary, the date, location, and time of the memorial service was listed for all to see. The preliminary sentence reads "Friends of _______ are invited to attend the reception on _____ at ____ at ____ time".
I'm thinking that this memorial was neither private nor by "invitation only", since the details of the event were posted publicly. With that said, would it have been weird to show up at the memorial service by myself to quietly pay my respects, not knowing any of her husband, family, or friends that were there?

(This is all hypothetical, of course.)

[tamiznluv]

I would not have hesitated to go to the celebration/wake of my professor if I felt that way about her teachings. I would have told her people who I was and how I felt about the impact their dearly departed had on me. They would have liked that.

Of course this is all moot now.

[jackmccullough]

It would be entirely appropriate to go to this funeral. If you were to tell your professor's family that you didn't know her well but you respected her work, you felt you made a connection in class, and you wanted to honor her that would be very meaningful to them.

If you can't attend (as in this case, when you found out too late) send a card. The family will appreciate it.

[Jaggy001]

When my mother passed away, I had two friends come to the funeral. They didn't really know my mother but they came as a mark of respect to me and as a way of supporting their friend. I very much appreciated it.

[gentlearts]

The way the obit was worded, it would have been entirely appropriate. My compass tells me that going to the calling hours of an acquaintance is appreciated by the family. I do not go to the actual funerals unless the person was close to me, because I feel like an intruder at this personal time otherwise.

[vanizorc]

Thank you for the input, folks. It is comforting to know that, should something similar happen in the future, I won't hesitate to do what I feel is right next time. The memorial service was held in another city from where I currently live, but I would have gladly traveled 5 hours by coach bus to her reception. BTW, it was not so much a private, familial funeral so much as it was a "secular" open event celebrating her life (at least that was my impression based on how her husband worded her obituary). I signed her online guest book and made a donation to a charity in her name because that's the least I felt I could do.

[Mid America Lifer]

A radio DJ I enjoyed listening to died right after Christmas, and though I didn't know him on a personal level, I attended his funeral the day after New Years Day.

He was a man of Faith, and people, some of whom he had worked with, shared some good memories of him.

[Mack Knife]

It is always appropriate to show up at a funeral if your intention is to show respect and acknowledgement for the life someone lived.

It shouldn't even be a question. A funeral isn't about anyone but the deceased and the individual. Yes, there is support for others and so on but that is secondary to the primary reason.

[PeaceOut001]

I have Emily Post's, "Etiquette," quietly gathering dust on my bookshelf. So, I follow her guidelines except in this case I didn't need them. This is really simple, OP. I agree with everyone's comments here. I learned last year that my first really sweet and good manager at my first long-term corporation died. Bill was a little younger than I am. I worked with and for him @1988 for five years before our projects dissolved. I was in touch with him last year once (in 30 years). A bit later he died from a heart attack. I absolutely would've gone to whatever I could.

I was contacted by his girlfriend (I wrote something on his obit site). I sent her items that were the result of Bill. I shared my perspective of Bill to a stranger. It was healthy for both of us. She was surprised by the number of people who popped out of the woodworks upon his death and it helped her.

[purehuman]

Appropriate?...if you knew him and want to pay last respects, you should. Don't consider anything else except that.