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The other day I was adding some new numbers in our phone's memory. I noticed that I have both my parents' & my father-in-law's numbers in there-all three have past away a few years ago. I was about to delete them but I just couldn't. I also have my Dad's email address still in my email address book. (My mother didn't have one.)
Somehow, I feel if I delete these entries, I will be deleting them. I know that is not true but I just can't help thinking it.
Does anyone else have this problem or is this just me?
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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I haven't deleted my husband's email account, and I took over his cell phone and left his greeting on it. I have his steno pads where he wrote his daily to-do lists and lots of other little personal things like that. Since it's not bothering anyone, I'm going to keep it...
I know the feeling! I still have my fathers cell phone number listed in my contacts on my phone, it has been three years, but I keep it, just in case he calls, I will know it is him.......you never know, maybe heaven finally got cell towers...lol...
I am in the process of moving, and believe me, it is hugely more difficult because of my husband's death 10 months ago. Any drawer or file includes him. There are reminders everywhere. We were married for 43 years, and after so long, he is part of the fabric of everything in this house. I had to stop and cry when I tore up his voter registration card, his bank ATM card is still sitting on the table. The bank account is closed, but its hard to throw the card away. I know I can keep some precious things, but I can't keep everything. I just threw out a box of old magazines that he had kept. Every action is painful, but I have to do this. I do know this - that within 3 months of his death, I had gone through the pantry and gotten rid of the foods that he liked the most or that reminded me of his little quirks, because they were like a slap every time I opened that pantry door. I almost became non-functional in the kitchen. Taking these things away did remove the emotional weight of being in the pantry, and allowed me to function in the kitchen again. Sometimes those little things are gentle reminders that make us smile, and sometimes they are terrible burdens, reminders of the loss. Everyone has different triggers, I think.
My cousin passed four years ago. His Facebook account is still open and people are still posting to it. Mainly memorial stuff. Every once and a while I bring up his account and look at the posts- I find it comforting.
The other day I was adding some new numbers in our phone's memory. I noticed that I have both my parents' & my father-in-law's numbers in there-all three have past away a few years ago. I was about to delete them but I just couldn't. I also have my Dad's email address still in my email address book. (My mother didn't have one.)
Somehow, I feel if I delete these entries, I will be deleting them. I know that is not true but I just can't help thinking it.
Does anyone else have this problem or is this just me?
Cat
Hi Cat, It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do about such things, you're not alone, in fact, I think it's cool.
It's hard to let go. We have to let go of so much when someone dies. Hanging on to little things, no mater how seemingly silly or inconsequential, helps us feel not so inconsequential ourselves.
I don't often quote Bible verse, but the sadness and finality of this Psalm may be one reason why it's so hard to let go:
As for man, his days are like grass. As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone. Its place remembers it no more.
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