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Old 12-24-2015, 09:21 AM
 
112 posts, read 69,860 times
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How do you feel about a person who falls in love with someone a month after their spouse dies?
I dont mean casual dating, or company...I mean all out "you are the ONE. Let's get married?"
What are your thoughts?
Is there a time limit as to when someone should fall in love?
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Old 12-24-2015, 09:24 AM
 
6,119 posts, read 3,063,320 times
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If that person is the one, it's up to you how you deal with grieving.

I think other people who judge someone on the amount of time they grieve is shallow. Each person grieves in their own way. In may case, knowing who I am, if that scenario occurred I'd be comfortable in my own skin.
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Old 12-24-2015, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
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Falling for someone quickly is fine but my advice would be not to rush into marriage. Enjoy the new love before committing to a future together.
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Old 12-27-2015, 03:58 PM
 
39 posts, read 21,059 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MerciChoi View Post
How do you feel about a person who falls in love with someone a month after their spouse dies?
I dont mean casual dating, or company...I mean all out "you are the ONE. Let's get married?"
What are your thoughts?
Is there a time limit as to when someone should fall in love?



I would think they didn't love nor care about their deceased husband/wife. No one who has lost a loved one could possibly grieve properly within a month. If there are children involved it shows little thought for them and their grief, would be traumatic to see their parent loving another.

It also shows little respect for the memory of the spouse who passed away.
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Old 12-27-2015, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
7,972 posts, read 6,725,053 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Pepys View Post
I would think they didn't love nor care about their deceased husband/wife. No one who has lost a loved one could possibly grieve properly within a month. If there are children involved it shows little thought for them and their grief, would be traumatic to see their parent loving another.

It also shows little respect for the memory of the spouse who passed away.
Shows little respect is BS. When is see posts like this I often think someone is calling the spouse over to say see, Honey, I do love you and there could never be anyone else for me. I would trust that type person the least.

I say we can control our emotions but they happen. I believe to some that the sooner they move on, the better they will be. Not all, but each person is an individual. I say a truly loving spouse would want their spouse to get on with life and being happy even without them.

I do agree that considering what others (children, family) might think is normal/polite and that has to be tread on lightly.

Last edited by johngolf; 12-27-2015 at 04:52 PM..
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:01 PM
 
Location: USA
7,778 posts, read 9,617,164 times
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A man's wife died. Within a few weeks he married a next door neighbor and soon there was an article about them in a magazine. There was no mention at all of the man's late wife. It seemed very strange. It was as if the deceased woman never existed, yet they'd been married many years and had grandchildren.
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:04 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,589 posts, read 42,755,715 times
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So many questions, that it is impossible to answer. How old is the person? Was she happily married? Did she know the new person before?
I would not judge, but if I were close to this person, I would caution her about, marry in haste, repent at leisure.

I know an older woman, whose husband died. They were "comfortably off", so it isn't as though she needed the security. She married an old guy who she had known for years. He was rich and they shared some common friends and history, etc. She soon found out that he was a major stick in the mud, who didn't want to socialize at all...especially with her friends he didn't know. I don't know what happened, since I moved, but I bet she regretted marrying him.
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:31 PM
 
39 posts, read 21,059 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
Shows little respect is BS. When is see posts like this I often think someone is calling the spouse over to say see, Honey, I do love you and there could never be anyone else for me. I would trust that type person the least.

I say we can control our emotions but they happen. I believe to some that the sooner they move on, the better they will be. Not all, but each person is an individual. I say a truly loving spouse would want their spouse to get on with life and being happy even without them.

I do agree that considering what others (children, family) might think is normal/polite and that has to be tread on lightly.




The natural reaction normally, on losing a beloved spouse is to grieve for them, is it not? We aretalking one month ahead. I would say the bereaved did not have deep feelings for their lost spouse to find it within themselves to fall head over heels in a matter of weeks.


Sure we would want our spouse to not grieve forever, but a month?

BTW I have lost someone dear to me a few months ago, and it would not be possible to call my spouse over to come look at what I typed for various reasons. Thanks.
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:35 PM
 
39 posts, read 21,059 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3 View Post
A man's wife died. Within a few weeks he married a next door neighbor and soon there was an article about them in a magazine. There was no mention at all of the man's late wife. It seemed very strange. It was as if the deceased woman never existed, yet they'd been married many years and had grandchildren.


I hope they did an autopsy/ post mortem on his forgotten wife.
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,798 posts, read 2,155,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MerciChoi View Post
How do you feel about a person who falls in love with someone a month after their spouse dies?
I dont mean casual dating, or company...I mean all out "you are the ONE. Let's get married?"
What are your thoughts?
Is there a time limit as to when someone should fall in love?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Pepys View Post
I would think they didn't love nor care about their deceased husband/wife. No one who has lost a loved one could possibly grieve properly within a month. If there are children involved it shows little thought for them and their grief, would be traumatic to see their parent loving another.

It also shows little respect for the memory of the spouse who passed away.
This just NOT sound normal..unless and of course he/she (OP) is falling for the feeling needy..and person is filling some void...But, surely IF this person, who is so so attractive, compelling..has some decency!!

Sorry OP..I find your question rather transparent..unless of course you actually really don't give two hoots about your deceased spouse!! Humming now...I say questioning the marriage of this deceased and OP..Something is amiss!!

Geesh...nothing wrong with moving on..but..even before bones are cooled off in grave...GMAFB
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