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Old 01-06-2016, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,270 posts, read 1,251,386 times
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I see this more and more. Do people just not use the phone anymore?
This is the third time I've learned of friends dying, no call just showing up in my feed.

Is this the new normal?
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Old 01-06-2016, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,488 posts, read 6,598,773 times
Reputation: 17327
I have never seen that, but I might put up a notification for non-friends or very distant relatives. When my husband died I don't even know if facebook was a thing. I found it very emotionally taxing to notify his distant friends. I just sent an email because I did not even know these people.
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Old 01-06-2016, 05:36 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
444 posts, read 655,443 times
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I'm still of the old school myself but I have had to accept it even though I don't like it. A few years ago I got a message on Facebook from a friend who told me her mother died. I got really upset with her and it affected our friendship. We were on the outs for a couple of years until I contacted her and apologized for not being understanding enough. The reason I had been upset was that I had met her mom. My friend had invited me over to her parents' home for a holiday, so even though I didn't really know her mom, I thought she should've called me. We later had a talk about it and we are on good terms again, but I really regret having gotten upset with her. It made me realize that some people just have too much going on in their lives and that some just cannot handle having to make yet one more phone call amidst all that they have to do when they have lost someone. Over Christmas, someone else I know lost her mom, and she posted it on Facebook also. So it has become commonplace to hear about deaths now on Facebook. On the one hand, I wish it were like before, when we used to get a phone call. On the other hand, it really makes it a little easier for the bereaved as well as us because if we really don't know what to say, we can just reply with how sorry we are. So, I have come to accept that Facebook is a platform for all kinds of news.
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Old 01-06-2016, 06:31 PM
 
Location: MA
1,623 posts, read 1,256,610 times
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I posted on FB when my husband passed, but, clearly only after close friends were notified.
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Old 01-06-2016, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 591,973 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shh1313 View Post
I see this more and more. Do people just not use the phone anymore?
This is the third time I've learned of friends dying, no call just showing up in my feed.

Is this the new normal?
I've had several. Usually people are calling the family and posting that to share it with friends and the community that the family might not know so they are informed and can also pay their respects.
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Old 01-06-2016, 08:18 PM
 
Location: home state of Myrtle Beach!
6,233 posts, read 18,123,468 times
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My late husband was chronically ill for many years. He never was on Facebook but I am friends with a lot of his friends there. Last year his health deteriorated drastically and with each test I posted what was or wasn't found, but only after immediate family had been told. After his tumor was found, he spent some time calling his closest friends and then we posted his condition on Facebook. I think if you will put yourself in the shoes of the caregiver, you can understand why we turned to social media to get the news out to those we may have missed. January 22 will be 6 months since he passed and I am still coming upon acquaintances that didn't know he died. His obituary wasn't cheap; I'm sorry people missed it but I did the best I could do under the circumstances.
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Old 01-07-2016, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
10,713 posts, read 19,047,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormynh View Post
I posted on FB when my husband passed, but, clearly only after close friends were notified.
I did the same! I didn't/don't have phone numbers for everyone (people drop their home numbers, move, etc.)
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Old 01-08-2016, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
7,961 posts, read 6,706,083 times
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My wife used Facebook mainly to keep in touch with family members. When she died her sister put a post up notifying people and a link to her obituary. I say it was the proper thing to do.
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Old 01-08-2016, 11:02 AM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,633,393 times
Reputation: 33226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamingo13 View Post
I did the same! I didn't/don't have phone numbers for everyone (people drop their home numbers, move, etc.)
If you're not keeping in contact with people and they move and don't tell you, than they don't need to know about it. What's the point? Ties have been cut.

Personally I think it is tack to announce it on FB. I could see down the road posting something but not notifying people that way.

It used to be close friends or family would help making calls to let people know.
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Old 01-08-2016, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
4,981 posts, read 5,449,503 times
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In an ideal world, the deceased has a partner who knows all of his/her friends, on and offline, plus has current phone numbers for all of them.

The reality may be quite different. Not everyone keeps an address book or current phone numbers. And then they may have friends online that they only know on FB or a board.

I've been in the position of having to contact "cyber friends" and sometimes a post on FB is the only way to do it.

It's really bad manners for people to just "disappear."

To be fair, I've also sent letters and worked the phones, but with the rate some people change phones and providers, it's just not always possible to notify everyone personally.

If this is a big deal to you, TODAY update your address book. Don't have one? At least make a list of friends and relatives who should be notified and their contact information.
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