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I just realized today that I was having dreams about my brother, who had Marfans & died of heart failure almost 20 years ago. They were so real & I couldn't figure out why I was dreaming of him every night.
My son died January 11th. My dreams of my brother quit right around that time. It just now clicked. I believe my brother was telling me he would be there for my son.
I should add that my brother and I were super close and he lived with my son & me for three years. He & my son were very close.
The worst thing is that I have got to force myself to wash clothes, clean the apartment & take showers.
I think I'm going to have to breakdown and hire help, just until I am better & not so lethargic.
Meo
Allow me to suggest the opposite. I found the grief easier to deal with if I did things like clean, cook, go for a walk, go grocery shopping, play golf, walk about a store/mall, etc. Most anything to keep my mind off of it. I suggest the same to you. Get up and go.
Right after my wife's death, I also had problems going to sleep as I was thinking. After a few months this started to pass and it has gotten easier to go to sleep. Give it time.
Allow me to suggest the opposite. I found the grief easier to deal with if I did things like clean, cook, go for a walk, go grocery shopping, play golf, walk about a store/mall, etc. Most anything to keep my mind off of it. I suggest the same to you. Get up and go.
Right after my wife's death, I also had problems going to sleep as I was thinking. After a few months this started to pass and it has gotten easier to go to sleep. Give it time.
I do not presume to know what you are going through, but I know when I am troubled about anything serious, I need to keep really busy... baking, cleaning, cleaning out closets, scrubbing things. It is genuinely helpful for keeping the worries at bay.
I just realized today that I was having dreams about my brother, who had Marfans & died of heart failure almost 20 years ago. They were so real & I couldn't figure out why I was dreaming of him every night.
My son died January 11th. My dreams of my brother quit right around that time. It just now clicked. I believe my brother was telling me he would be there for my son.
I should add that my brother and I were super close and he lived with my son & me for three years. He & my son were very close.
Bummer. I really dislike those very real dreams when you think the person is alive. That's happened to me a few times. Wow! Grandma, mom, brother, husband, you're alive! Except, you're not. Or, just in my head.
Relatives and loved always seem to die on or near a holiday. My brother died shortly before Christmas and my grandmother was buried on Valentines day. A couple of years ago, my mother died on Halloween. Really? Did you have to do that? Independence day is still open, though.
My husband died four year ago and I still go through streaks where I'll dream about him for several days in a row. HOWEVER, this far out the dreams are welcome now where they weren't in the first months after he died. I think the dreams are just a natural part of the grieving process...our trying to hold on to what is gone. It's still very early in the grieving process for you so don't worry overly much it you don't sleep well. What worked best for me when my husband died was to spend time each day writing down all the memories I had. 1) I couldn't sleep anyway, and 2) I was afraid I'd forget things and I didn't want to do that. It took a long time---months---but writing helped me get through the grief so it could live side-by-side with my good memories and the joy we had together which often gets lost in our pain. I did the same thing with my mom died.
I had some dreams of my husband early on after he died. He was always urging me on, saying "you can do it," and this gave me some courage, I have to admit. I don't seem to be dreaming of him now. Actually, I have not been remembering my dreams at all. I wish that I would dream of him again. These dreams gave me a chance to see him not just as in a photograph, but see him moving, smiling, seeing his mannerisms, hearing his voice. It always was wonderful to see him again. I hope that in the future, I will have more dreams of him.
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