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Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,568,915 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcy1210
As a widow, with grown kids and grandkids who are teens, my family knows (and it's in my trust and will) I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered half on our land in the Colorado mountains and half in the channel between Maui and the Big Island off Kaupo just past Lindbergh's grave. No service, no obituary, nothing. My husband wanted the same thing. We've scattered his ashes in Colorado, but will wait until I die and the kids/grands can scatter both of us at the same time.
My husband was a country lawyer ~~ no court, ever. Real Estate, Estates, Incorporates, all the "ates". He wore jeans, Nikes and a casual dress shirt to the office. He looked like John Denver, so we told him he was John Denver with a law license. Music will be "Rocky Mountain High" for him, and "Follow Me" for him, about how I followed him...then a few songs the kids and grands can dance on the beach to. When the sun hits the water and the green flash occurs, toss the ashes! Hopefully, they've bought some beer at the Kaupo Store and enjoy the moonlight on the water as our ashes begin their travels around the world...
Well, you didn't ask our opinion about your wife's thinking the topic is morbid, and I don't know how old you are, but I certainly think a husband and wife should discuss each other's wishes. Anything can happen, and it is certainly helpful when pre-arrangements have been made or at least you know what the decedent would want.
Years ago, I wrote out a detailed list of my last wishes, right down to songs and pallbearers. Yes, I am a control freak and I wanted the "perfect" funeral. However, I did that perfect funeral when my Mom died four years ago, and now that she's gone, I couldn't care less about any type of funeral for myself. I'm single with a son who would never be able to arrange an elaborate funeral, and I'm not going to be around to see it, so who cares. I'm just looking forward to being reunited with my Mom and I hope that's the case. So just do the thing that's cheapest/easiest. Although I do need to make some type of advance arrangements....just haven't gotten around to it.
I've had my plans all drawn up when I turned 65, I'm 77 now. Cremation and I'll blow over the Pacific. I spent MANY hours at the wonderful santa monica beaches,
Armstrong Family group is where I'm signed up and WAY less $$$ than Neptune. What a waste of money so many spend on elaborate funerals...
My father told me when he was on his way out at almost 96, he didn't care what we did with him..but my sister already signed up and spent close to $10K to put him in the ground.
I have a friend who will be 95 in Oct and she's planning a party for that birthday. She had a big party for 90th and here it is 95th coming up.
I'm not into big parties for myself, so none for me. Celebrate each day is what I'm about.
A little humor sorta..my neighbor took care of her brother until he passed. She has no other family except distant so to this day she still has his remains in a pretty box in her cupboard. I've told her I'd go with her to scatter his ashes but so far she hasn't brought it up. My daughter years ago said she'd like to keep some of me in her bedroom but she's probably changed her mind...we don't discuss this lately. Although I need to remind her about my papers etc.
We are giving serious consideration to registering at one of the body farms. Neither of us wants to be buried, don't want any type of funeral or even an obit, and we had always planned on cremation. I think I just want to be out in the environment without any fuss.
We have discussed it but a few things are not firmly decided on. Since he tends to forget things (like the details of such conversations), I attached a letter to our important papers about burial. I opt for cremation, but I want my ashes next to my daughter, who is buried. We may purchase the plot next to her to bury our ashes, or I may want them added inside her grave, known as Second Internment. The idea of spreading/spilling ashes somewhere does not appeal to me.
Services are for the grieving survivors, so my letter leaves that decision up to him. The only thing I ask is that, if there is a service, that it must include Norman Greenbaums "Spirit In the Sky".
I have noticed a trend in some acquaintances who died. They are cremated and have no ceremony. This turns out to be an immense relief to everyone. No traveling and no fussing.
I am anxious about being the subject of a funeral, when I hate ever being the center of attention. I would be very picky about the arrangements and it causes me worry to think any part of it would not be done the way I want. I think I just want my ashes placed in a lovely place with a headstone, so that anyone who might want to visit could, but it wouldn't put pressure on anyone to do so.
No, but it's something that I should do... on the "to do" list. My parents have all their stuff pre-arranged.
There are "eco burials" available at certain "green" cemeteries, that's something I'd like to do.
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