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Old 03-03-2016, 09:05 AM
 
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I'd be interested in hearing the experiences of those who've lost siblings. Yes, grief is universal, but the grief of surviving siblings seems overshadowed by those who've lost children, spouses and parents. I think sibling grief is somewhat unique phenomenon and process unto itself, and it's hard to connect with a community of individuals who've experienced this, even within grief support groups. I lost my brother who was only 2 1/2 years older than me very recently, and I'd like to be in touch with some people who know what this type of loss is like, even as an adult. I'd also like to gather a sense of what my future may look like, in terms of this process, my changed identity and so on.
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Old 03-03-2016, 12:14 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
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I lost a cousin brother who used to live with us as our own family we grew up together. Me my brother and him. He was on vacation. Wrong place wrong time and spot as well. He was a great swimmer but he did not survive. But he left lot of sweet memories with us. It was hard at the beginning by the time it get better. Big hug for you as well my thoughts with you.
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Old 03-03-2016, 01:49 PM
Status: "The violence and killing has to stop!!." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Lark Farm
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My heartfelt sympathy to you for the loss of your brother. I've lost both of my siblings. My sister to cancer and my brother to murder. Needless to say grief is different for everyone. For me, I grieved differently for my siblings because of the difference in their deaths. Naturally grief is more intense shortly after the loss. Keep in mind there is not a time limit for your grief. I've found that the ache from their loss has lessened with time. Now when I think of them it isn't always about loss but often of the good times that we shared.

My best advice would be for you to allow yourself time to grieve. Do not let anyone dictate how or how long that you should grieve the loss of your brother. For me, sharing my feelings with others who had lost loved ones was a big help. I hope that you find comfort in knowing that others care and understand the pain you feel over your loss.
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Old 03-03-2016, 06:44 PM
 
549 posts, read 819,369 times
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I lost my only sister 3 1/2 years ago. I grieve for my sister in immeasurable ways. My mom and step dad then passed away about 2 years ago. My mom, my sister and I were very close even though the miles kept us apart. I went through counseling, grief group and have read every thing possible. But I just miss her. I honestly believe it is something that will be just under the surface the rest of my life. There were so many things left unsaid and undone. My sister either over-dosed, committed suicide, or was murdered. Those are questions I will never have answered.

Time has lessened some of the pain and sometimes I smile at a memory. I can talk about my sister and my mom now without tearing up every single time. Anniversary's are the hardest. Life moves on but it is forever different.

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Let yourself feel. I have found so many people who think I should just get over it and not let the deaths bother me. I refuse to stuff my feeling so if I get teary I let the tears come. When I was angry I let myself be angry. Don't put a time limit on your grief but also get up and live your life to the best of your abilities.
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Old 03-03-2016, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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In spite of not losing a sibling I share your grief. Attempt to recall all the good times .
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Old 03-03-2016, 08:08 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hautemomma View Post
I'd be interested in hearing the experiences of those who've lost siblings. Yes, grief is universal, but the grief of surviving siblings seems overshadowed by those who've lost children, spouses and parents. I think sibling grief is somewhat unique phenomenon and process unto itself, and it's hard to connect with a community of individuals who've experienced this, even within grief support groups. I lost my brother who was only 2 1/2 years older than me very recently, and I'd like to be in touch with some people who know what this type of loss is like, even as an adult. I'd also like to gather a sense of what my future may look like, in terms of this process, my changed identity and so on.
I am sorry about your brother.

Ten years ago last week my brother died. He was four years older than I. Every so often another memory of childhood flits through my mind, something that only he and I could remember, but he is gone and so the memory is mine alone.

There is a special suckiness all its own in losing a sibling.

I have five other living siblings, and my relationship with each is different. I think I was closer to the one we lost than any of the others were. He could be obstinate and contrary.
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Old 03-03-2016, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
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Both of my older brothers have passed away. The youngest of the two was buried at Riverside National Cemetery in Califorina and the older was cremated. There are only the three of us sisters left.
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Old 03-04-2016, 06:10 AM
 
994 posts, read 1,108,609 times
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Thanks, everyone, for sharing, offering your condolences and generally chiming in. I think the loss of a sibling is just different, particularly for those close in relationship and / or close in age to their departed loved one. It's been less than three months since he passed, and each day is different. Generally, on the surface, I am "fine." I've been doing a lot of reading of a spiritual nature, meditating, praying and recalling so many moments from our shared past. I did lose about 10 pounds in the weeks immediately following, and I haven't been very interested in things from a social perspective, outside of my family. I have been moved by the expressions of condolence and regret from some; however, I am disappointed in the lack of outreach or understanding by others. I feel like a piece of me has been ripped away, and has been replaced by a void.
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Old 03-04-2016, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,006,146 times
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I know how you feel. My brother and I were 8th & 9th born in our family. We were very, very close, being the youngest. We grew up being very close & when I married & then divorced a friend of his, he moved in with me.

My brother was then diagnosed with Marfans disease and eventually went blind. He managed to live a full life until he was 40 & then died of a heart attack. It devastated me and I went into a deep depression.

It took a long time but I eventually remembered the good times. I will always miss him but am at peace now. That was 22 years ago, so yes, it takes a long time for some of us. I was okay after about 10 years.
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Old 03-04-2016, 10:51 PM
 
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I just always thought that my sister and I would get old together.
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