U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-15-2016, 05:48 AM
 
Location: God's Country
4,655 posts, read 3,023,684 times
Reputation: 7551

Advertisements

since you lost your valiant battle with dementia. Mom used to say that time heals all wounds, but it hasn't gotten any better.


I spend about 11 hrs. in bed. It takes a supreme effort to get my ass up and into the gym. It's partly depression but also musculoskeletal aches and pains. I apparently lie on my shoulders abnormally because in the mornings they hurt like hell. Once up and after a workout, the rest of the morning is tolerable thanks to a caffeine buzz courtesy of Dr. Peppers and Mountain Dews. But that stops at noon; otherwise no sleep. You know, when caring for you, I was pain free. Pain started shortly after you died. The old bones must have been loaded with adrenaline, endorphins, enkephalins, GABA, serotonin or some such substance before then.


Your favorite season is here. Johnny across the road is planting his usual but with soybeans on the spread that abuts our property rather than corn. I bought a new truck and a new well pump and had the cedar stained. Held off on the tractors though. Oh, last fall I planted six weigela. Should be in bloom soon.


Your sisters last wrote around Christmas. Guess they're just going to fade away. My brother's mother-in-law died so he and his wife'll probably move to Marco Island permanently rather than just the winter. No reason for him to stay up here. With no one up here to check on me, I'll probably have to buy one of those medical alert systems. Told Johnny if he sees me lying in the field, give the authorities my brother's phone numbers. He agreed.


Murriel, no one knows how ****ing miserable I am without you.


I hope your family doesn't forget you. You were so good to your nieces and nephews. Rest assured that I'll never forget you until this blue rock and I part company.

Last edited by Calvert Hall '62; 03-15-2016 at 06:05 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-15-2016, 06:47 AM
 
4,508 posts, read 1,901,989 times
Reputation: 9446
I'm sorry for your pain.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-15-2016, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Duncan, Oklahoma
2,583 posts, read 1,184,569 times
Reputation: 1934
Calvert Hall '62:

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are experiencing. I read every word you wrote, and I wish I could help you more. I know words don't mean much when you are hurting so deeply, but I do wish you peace.....perhaps one day.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-15-2016, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,545 posts, read 3,010,212 times
Reputation: 9433
What a beautiful tribute to the woman who was/is the most important person in your life.

I recently lost my son & I believe the talks I have with him are heard. I feel an aura of love. I believe your Muriel does the same for you.

There is nothing anyone can say that will take away the pain. But I do hope you feel her love for you. The kind of love you have is endless. She is still your' s.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-15-2016, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,270 posts, read 2,479,585 times
Reputation: 7225
Calvert, I'm so sorry.

Muriel must have been such a special person, it sounds like you had such a great relationship.

I just know she's smiling down on you, and that she hears you.

Hang in there. (((Hugs)))
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-15-2016, 04:28 PM
 
619 posts, read 324,208 times
Reputation: 1633
I am so sorry for your pain. Your murriel sounds like she was a very special and loving person. I hope you will be able to find a little peace. Time doesn't make our loved ones cone back, nor does it make the pain go away. But for me, after my mother died, time eventually helped to somewhat make the pain a little less raw.

Lots of hugs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-15-2016, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,545 posts, read 3,010,212 times
Reputation: 9433
Calvin, I just re-read your other post on here. At that time my Mom had passed & I don't know if I expressed how much she wanted to go. Who of us wants to be less than we were?

I can't think of a person who would like to be a burden to the one's they love.

Yes, it makes those of us left behind with a deep void, but, would we really rather our loved ones to be in an incapacitated lifestyle? Would any of us like to live like that?

It's something to think about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-15-2016, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,545 posts, read 3,010,212 times
Reputation: 9433
I just re-read my own posts. It is so, so difficult to let go of our loved ones. Hang in there, as I am also. Remember our loved one's love us also.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-16-2016, 12:54 PM
 
3,964 posts, read 5,251,370 times
Reputation: 4554
Calvert, So sorry for your loss and your pain. It is important to exercise, but even more important to try to relieve your pain. You can't exercise effectively if you are pushing through pain. See a medical professional - a physical medicine doctor, a physical therapist, possibly acupuncture to relieve acute pain, someone who comes with a reputation for listening to patients and seeking solutions. It will probably take more than one professional. There is no doubt that physical symptoms can be made worse with depression. Sadness from loss is not the same as depression, but depression is possible. You might wan to address that also. I think you have to work on both the emotional and the physical to get past this. I am also a chronic pain patient, my husband having died just over a year ago. Care giving really takes a tole on us, in every way. So now, more than a year later, I am still working on my pain and physical problems, but they are improving, and I am getting stronger. (I really appreciate pool therapy for how gently the body can strengthen up.) I think Murriel would not want you to continue in such pain. I think that gradually, you can make it better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-16-2016, 01:54 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,645,062 times
Reputation: 33231
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvert Hall '62 View Post
since you lost your valiant battle with dementia. Mom used to say that time heals all wounds, but it hasn't gotten any better.


I spend about 11 hrs. in bed. It takes a supreme effort to get my ass up and into the gym. It's partly depression but also musculoskeletal aches and pains. I apparently lie on my shoulders abnormally because in the mornings they hurt like hell. Once up and after a workout, the rest of the morning is tolerable thanks to a caffeine buzz courtesy of Dr. Peppers and Mountain Dews. But that stops at noon; otherwise no sleep. You know, when caring for you, I was pain free. Pain started shortly after you died. The old bones must have been loaded with adrenaline, endorphins, enkephalins, GABA, serotonin or some such substance before then.


Your favorite season is here. Johnny across the road is planting his usual but with soybeans on the spread that abuts our property rather than corn. I bought a new truck and a new well pump and had the cedar stained. Held off on the tractors though. Oh, last fall I planted six weigela. Should be in bloom soon.


Your sisters last wrote around Christmas. Guess they're just going to fade away. My brother's mother-in-law died so he and his wife'll probably move to Marco Island permanently rather than just the winter. No reason for him to stay up here. With no one up here to check on me, I'll probably have to buy one of those medical alert systems. Told Johnny if he sees me lying in the field, give the authorities my brother's phone numbers. He agreed.


Murriel, no one knows how ****ing miserable I am without you.


I hope your family doesn't forget you. You were so good to your nieces and nephews. Rest assured that I'll never forget you until this blue rock and I part company.

Very sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute, you write beautifully.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top