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Old 03-24-2016, 01:49 PM
 
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I've lost two very inspirational/influential people in my life. Both rather young in this longer living days. One was 75 and one in late 60's....great Life Teachers....not teachers per se but so much wisdom. They both helped me so much on my life's path.

This poem was used at both their memorials and cards and brochures made up to give out with their pictures and this poem on it. I look at my one friend every day as his card is on my desk.

Miss Me But Let Me Go!
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Old 03-24-2016, 04:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
I've lost two very inspirational/influential people in my life. Both rather young in this longer living days. One was 75 and one in late 60's....great Life Teachers....not teachers per se but so much wisdom. They both helped me so much on my life's path.

This poem was used at both their memorials and cards and brochures made up to give out with their pictures and this poem on it. I look at my one friend every day as his card is on my desk.

Miss Me But Let Me Go!

That's nice, but you're not talking about your parents, or your spouse, or a sibling, or a child.

It's not always that easy.
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Old 03-24-2016, 05:12 PM
 
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I didn't say it was easy. I said comforting. The girls of the 75 yr old loved this poem and they used it at the memorial and gave out laminated pic cards with poem to everyone who came to the park. My parents were both in 90's so for me it was not that difficult. They were ready to go. We don't live forever. Losing a nephew at 5 yrs old in horrible accident was TOUGH...but I can't dwell on this either, that was 30 yrs ago. We start to die when we are born.
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Old 03-24-2016, 05:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
I didn't say it was easy. I said comforting. The girls of the 75 yr old loved this poem and they used it at the memorial and gave out laminated pic cards with poem to everyone who came to the park. My parents were both in 90's so for me it was not that difficult. They were ready to go. We don't live forever. Losing a nephew at 5 yrs old in horrible accident was TOUGH...but I can't dwell on this either, that was 30 yrs ago. We start to die when we are born.
Clearly, you're not the emotional sensitive type. Most people regardless of how old their parents were, feel a great sense of loss when they're gone.
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Old 03-24-2016, 09:56 PM
 
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You have no clue about my sensitivities....I've been known to wear my heart on my sleeves. But I am practical and heading toward my 80th yrs....one does develope to a point where we need to protect ourselves... I can't bring the dead back, but do live with good/bad memories.
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Old 03-25-2016, 12:08 AM
 
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You're right I don't. But you do realize that people who post here have suffered losses? Including their parents. Your comments that it wasn't difficult for you because they were old, well quite frankly sounds pretty cold.

And that is insensitive in regards to others who grieve for parents whether they were 62 or 92.
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Old 03-25-2016, 04:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Clearly, you're not the emotional sensitive type. Most people regardless of how old their parents were, feel a great sense of loss when they're gone.
My own life experience of seventy-eight years has brought me far deeper and more supportive relationships with an aunt and a few other relatives, and with some friends than I ever enjoyed with my parents, and the death of these people was a far, far, far bigger loss.

Our lives are expected to flow in customary channels, and these become cultural stereotypes, which may or may not be like the realities of the relationships in people's lives. We are trained and acculturated with traditional road maps, but reality may be much different than these. I see many people made deeply unhappy by the frustrating efforts of trying to nail their lives onto the handed down life maps, which may be far from the reality of their lives.

Some people have reproved or corrected me about my feelings about the deaths of the people who have loved me, enriched my life, and supported me in times of trouble and sorrow...."Oh! but they weren't your parents!!!"

And I no longer p ussy-foot around their stereotypes, and say something to the effect, "Yes, they were better and more loving people. They rescued my life from my parents."

I will not diminish the fine and loving people who contributed so deeply to my life, or reshape my life for popular consumption because the parent stereotype is supposed to be the supreme one. Other people have not walked in my shoes, nor I in theirs.
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Old 03-25-2016, 05:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
You're right I don't. But you do realize that people who post here have suffered losses? Including their parents. Your comments that it wasn't difficult for you because they were old, well quite frankly sounds pretty cold.
Well, to you. But I hear over and over again remarks of similar kind, so I don't think his view is unusual, and I think that for many people it is far easier to except the death of very old people.

Quote:
And that is insensitive in regards to others who grieve for parents whether they were 62 or 92.
Jaminhealth was speaking for himself and of his own feelings. You seem to want to ram-jam his feelings into some forum-wide mould that you imagine exists or should exist, and otherwise he is insensitive....and presumably should have shut up.

I think if you want to see insensitivity on this thread, look in a mirror.
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Old 03-25-2016, 11:17 AM
 
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When someone dies young of course it is more tragic. They have been cheated.

That doesn't mean losing someone you love doesn't hurt just as much when they're older.
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Old 03-25-2016, 11:25 AM
 
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I'm not going to go on with this explaining my life, but I've experienced a lost life at 5 yrs old...so Seain you do not know what other's live with and thru. Life and Death happens and we must learn to deal with whatever and go on. Peace out...
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