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Old 04-10-2016, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Washington
258 posts, read 425,539 times
Reputation: 482

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I go between planning out taking care of her business, throwing out random things around her home, thinking about which accounts/utilities I need to close, etc. and then crying for 5 minutes straight.

I'm all over the place right now. I try to think of her spirit near me, but it's hard to do when her body isn't.
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Old 04-10-2016, 11:39 PM
 
Location: CA
1,544 posts, read 1,842,972 times
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Oh gosh, watching the posts scroll, this one caught my eye, because my mom passed away in June 2002, but her birthday was today, so I've been thinking of her more than usual as a result. And your post takes me back to that time, and how it's so hard to know exactly what to do, and grieving through it all. Gosh. Just take it one moment at a time, and don't expect to get it all "right". I don't think there's a 'right' about it and it evolves with time too. Hopefully you have some friends and family around you so you can put your heads together and do the best possible. Mostly I hope you have those there for you too, as we all need to grieve and appreciate and love our moms, especially at this time. Bless you and yours, and your mom.
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Old 04-11-2016, 12:54 AM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,248,587 times
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My advice is to do the business that absolutely has to be done, but otherwise, give yourself some time. Grieving means needing time to review the experiences of your life with your mom, to look at pictures or listen to music, talk with friends and/or family, cry, or just sit and think. Don't feel you must stay busy. I'm sure there is a lot to do, but be kind to yourself and give yourself time and space. Confusion can be part of the first days. One can feel disoriented because the whole world seems different now. Be patient and loving to yourself. Sleep, eat, walk, hug. Blessings to you and your family.
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Old 04-11-2016, 01:26 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,880,122 times
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Big hug dear nothing else would help at this moment. Be strong my thoughts with you!
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Old 04-11-2016, 04:52 AM
 
Location: State of Grace
1,488 posts, read 1,051,939 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FromChicagotoSeattle View Post
I go between planning out taking care of her business, throwing out random things around her home, thinking about which accounts/utilities I need to close, etc. and then crying for 5 minutes straight.

I'm all over the place right now. I try to think of her spirit near me, but it's hard to do when her body isn't.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

If it helps at all (I've found it helps me), remember that your mom has simply gone on a journey ahead of you; it waits for us all, as she waits for you. No one is lost forever.

May the Peace of God be with you and yours, as you adjust to the absence of her presence.


Mahrie.
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Old 04-11-2016, 11:15 AM
Status: " ." (set 1 day ago)
 
548 posts, read 803,033 times
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I'm so sorry.(())) It is a difficult time. Nothing you feel is wrong .
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Old 04-11-2016, 12:11 PM
 
Location: home state of Myrtle Beach!
6,233 posts, read 18,123,468 times
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Sorry for your loss. It is hard to know what to do next in that situation. When my husband died last July I first started cleaning out all the junk he failed to throw away. 23 rescue inhalers (all used), dozens of empty tissue boxes; I could go on, but I won't! Once I got rid of the "true" trash it made it much easier to see what he left behind. Mom is the last parent living today and I will have a whole house to clean out just like you have now. I'm in no hurry to get to that point but I know one day it will be time to do it all. Hope you have someone you can lean on in this difficult time of your life!
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Old 04-15-2016, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
5,508 posts, read 2,590,605 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FromChicagotoSeattle View Post
I go between planning out taking care of her business, throwing out random things around her home, thinking about which accounts/utilities I need to close, etc. and then crying for 5 minutes straight.

I'm all over the place right now. I try to think of her spirit near me, but it's hard to do when her body isn't.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean by trying to think of her spirit near you. I was able to feel my son's spirit at times.

Last edited by 303Guy; 04-15-2016 at 07:12 PM..
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Old 04-15-2016, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,796 posts, read 2,152,412 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FromChicagotoSeattle View Post
I go between planning out taking care of her business, throwing out random things around her home, thinking about which accounts/utilities I need to close, etc. and then crying for 5 minutes straight.

I'm all over the place right now. I try to think of her spirit near me, but it's hard to do when her body isn't.
I'm so sorry for your loss ..Right now you are in a fog and going thru a constellation of anger/denial/relief/fear..the list is endless. First..look after yourself..then just move on step by step. Just a couple of links that may help guide you on priorities..of course depends on your level of responsibility.??

https://www.caring.com/questions/wha...-when-dad-dies

snip~~
Quote:
Expert Answers

Barbara Repa, a Caring.com senior editor, is an attorney, a journalist specializing in aging issues, and the author of Your Rights in the Workplace (Nolo), now in its 10th edition.
Sorry for your loss. For better and worse, the first week or so after a death are often filled with attending to many details -- most of them related to tending to final details of securing end of life paperwork and final disposition of the body. While the tasks at first may seem daunting, many people actually find they are relieved to be occupied during the most raw early moments of their grief.

If you are the main person handling these concerns, you will need to be attuned to:

finding out whether there are specific instructions for donating the body or organs or tissues
securing a physician's certification and death certificate, which will be needed later in dealing with insurance and estate matters
arranging for an autopsy in the rare instances in which one is required
seeing to the details of a burial or cremation, and
deciding whether to hold a funeral or memorial service.
http://www.xojane.com/family/8-simpl...ur-parent-dies

Please read this, as it may help you sort of priorities as to what's important and what's NOT on that front burner~~

I sure hope and pray you are not alone dealing with it..But there are often places that could assist you with dealing with the legalities ...Often Funeral Homes will give you a check list and offer a list of folks who can guide you.

This is never ever an easy time for anybody whether you were VERY close or not. The Legal things that are a MUST ..So sending you positive thoughts
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Old 04-15-2016, 09:21 PM
 
1,239 posts, read 612,315 times
Reputation: 1688
I am so sorry for your loss - I wish I could hug you. Losing my mother rocked my world to it's core. I wish I could ease your pain.
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