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Old 04-12-2016, 09:48 PM
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,279 posts, read 2,496,705 times
Reputation: 7240


So sorry for your loss, Maggie. Hugs and good thoughts to you. He's smiling down on you, I'm sure of it.
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Old 04-12-2016, 11:31 PM
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,587 posts, read 3,046,057 times
Reputation: 9517
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
I'm so sorry for your lose. You do NOT have to do everything today. Most of those things can be done over a period of days or weeks. When a close friend or family member asks if they can help, let them deal with some of these things. It can be overwhelming without any help. Remember to take care of yourself. If you want to spend a day in bed crying, do it! If you want to take a day and sit by the shore, do it!
I wish someone had given me this advice. Such a wise answer.
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Old 04-13-2016, 02:54 AM
Location: Ontario
5 posts, read 2,661 times
Reputation: 20
I'm so sorry for your loss, Mag...
Hope I can help you, but we're too far...
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Old 04-13-2016, 06:35 AM
Location: Former LI'er Now a Rehoboth Beach Bunny
7,277 posts, read 9,682,232 times
Reputation: 6972
My prayers are with you. Many local areas have grief sessions at churches, and schools. Take advantage of them they do help many people to understand that you are not alone and as has been said it will get better.
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Old 04-13-2016, 08:26 AM
Location: In the Endless Mountains
18,530 posts, read 1,160,468 times
Reputation: 2414
My condolences for your great loss!
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Old 04-13-2016, 09:38 AM
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,367 posts, read 1,533,197 times
Reputation: 3814
I lost my husband, and life long best friend, 7 months ago - it still hurts, but I have finally reached a point that I can think of him - and smile.

Just last night, as I was falling asleep, I dreamed that he was kissing me. It was so real that I snapped back into full-consciousness quick enough to feel that my lips were moving to return his kiss. This didn't cause me despair as it would have earlier in my grief process, but it actually made me feel happy - and I smiled.

My husband had told me the day of his death, when I broke down and asked him what I was going to do without him, that I had to live, and I have every intention of honoring his wishes.

A close family friend who had also lost her husband several years earlier called when she learned of his death, expressed her condolences, and gave me a lot of advice. One thing she said sticks with me. She said a day will come when you don't think of him at all, and when you realize it, you will feel guilty. Don't. He would want you to get on with your life.

Bereavement can be helpful for many people, sharing your feelings, but it wasn't for me. It amplified my grief. Heck, I'm crying my eyes out typing this, lol. I couldn't even get through 1 whole session. After a week or so, I returned to work, and went about my normal routine. I would come home and just sit there - like I was waiting for something. I realized I was waiting for him, so I looked for distractions.

There is no rush, Maggie, although at first its actually good to keep yourself busy. It provides a distraction.

Every little thing doesn't have to be settled right away. My husband was cremated quickly, but we didn't have a memorial service until the next month. My mother-in-law and I needed that time, we both still cried throughout the entire service.

Sometimes every little thing cant be settled right away. Sometimes the wheels of bureaucracy move very slowly. I will be getting the papers that settle my husband's estate from my attorney tomorrow.

I'm not going to say that I know how you feel, because I don't, and I believe we all react to this kind of loss differently, but please know that you have my deepest heartfelt sympathy.

Best wishes for getting on with your life, like your husband would want you to. *hugs*
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Old 04-13-2016, 09:48 AM
Location: Chicago area
13,133 posts, read 7,256,350 times
Reputation: 50200
So sorry to hear that love. I'm sending you a cyber hug.
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Old 04-13-2016, 01:34 PM
2,146 posts, read 815,680 times
Reputation: 4168
Originally Posted by maggie2101 View Post
And I'm just now getting weepy having to make all these phone calls for insurance, disability, funeral home, nursing home, and the list goes on. I just want to sleep and vegetate, but there is so much to do if I am going to pay the bills this month.

So sorry for you. It sounds like you do not have any family.

Ask the funeral director to refer you somewhere you can get help.
For seniors there is an outreach program and seniors clubs have those resources on hand.
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Old 04-13-2016, 01:44 PM
Location: Alaska
2,630 posts, read 2,308,823 times
Reputation: 4394
May God bring you comfort, compassion, and mercy during this most difficult time.
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Old 04-13-2016, 01:46 PM
Location: Sneads Ferry NC/Randolph NJ/Cape Coral FL
12,951 posts, read 24,139,385 times
Reputation: 10798
Very sorry for your loss
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