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Old 04-27-2016, 07:36 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,712 posts, read 21,760,954 times
Reputation: 27762

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I was going to say no, but maybe they are. Mailing paper cards seems to have dropped out of favor.

An email or online guest book entry is considered adequate these days. Most don't send anything.

Have a look at this thread: Is there anyone who did NOT send condolences to you?

My condolences...
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Old 04-27-2016, 08:54 AM
 
3,174 posts, read 1,632,131 times
Reputation: 15313
I would never send condolences in an email. This family sends out snail mail cards. We also make phone calls if we know the people well.

I've seen people show their "sympathy" by posting Facebook posts with sad cartoon faces. When did that become acceptable?

This is our future. I don't like it. There's something very wrong in the way we communicate. Though we are able to connect with strangers across the globe, we seem to have disconnected from those who matter the most.
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Old 04-27-2016, 10:07 AM
Status: "The violence and killing has to stop!!." (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Lark Farm
4,090 posts, read 2,386,162 times
Reputation: 37915
Quote:
Originally Posted by UNC4Me View Post
I'm at the age where I keep a stock of sympathy cards in the house since my friends parents are dropping like files. I like to write a hand written note. Old fashioned maybe, but that's what I like to do.
I do the same. Matter of fact I have a sympathy card ready for a neighbor who lost her father this past week. In our area we still take food to families who have lost loved one.

Having been in the receiving end of these acts of kindness I will always go the extra step to express my sympathies to friends, neighbors and family who have lost loved ones.
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Old 04-27-2016, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Montana
387 posts, read 322,322 times
Reputation: 672
Unfortunately, I would say any type of card is out of style. I write letters, but rarely get them. I have 2 friends who send postcards, but other than holiday cards that is it pretty much it. Of course, my husband's grandmother sends birthday cards and sympathy cards, but she is in her 90s. I think I am one of two people in my generation (30s) that still has stationary with my name on it that I know of.

In fact, today you even see condolences on Facebook feeds (often I have been horrified by people using the "Like" button when someone passes and the person writes how wonderful they were but that they are feeling down in the dumps, etc., and someone can't take the time to write a comment so they just hit "Like" about a friend's familial death - eek!).

At any rate, the other issue is that often people don't have up to date addresses anymore because cards are so rarely used and people move so often.

In an age when we are getting wedding announcements and birth announcements via e-mail, I would try not to take it personally, and put this instance into the same category.

Sorry for your loss.
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Old 04-27-2016, 11:12 AM
 
Location: SW US
1,996 posts, read 1,853,151 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larksong View Post
I do the same. Matter of fact I have a sympathy card ready for a neighbor who lost her father this past week. In our area we still take food to families who have lost loved one.

Having been in the receiving end of these acts of kindness I will always go the extra step to express my sympathies to friends, neighbors and family who have lost loved ones.
I'm glad you do this. Every note I wrote was really hard because I was, and still am, grieving my mother's loss. Having them ignored was hard.
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Old 04-27-2016, 11:14 AM
 
Location: SW US
1,996 posts, read 1,853,151 times
Reputation: 3354
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
I was going to say no, but maybe they are. Mailing paper cards seems to have dropped out of favor.

An email or online guest book entry is considered adequate these days. Most don't send anything.

Have a look at this thread: Is there anyone who did NOT send condolences to you?

My condolences...

Thanks for the link to the other thread, and for the condolences.
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Old 04-27-2016, 12:06 PM
 
Location: In a vehicle.
4,547 posts, read 2,774,189 times
Reputation: 7316
Quote:
Originally Posted by Windwalker2 View Post
My Mom died recently. I notified all my friends via Email, and then went through her address book notifying her friends and our relatives by handwritten note. Most of the Email people replied via Email that they were sorry to hear it. One said I was lucky to have had my Mom so long when hers had died younger, which seemed kind of snarky. Out of all the notifications, I got only one sympathy card. And only one person who asked who to donate to in her name. None of the people I notified by mail, which took a long time to do, even acknowledged I had sent the notice. I had mailed cards to many of these people when their parents died.

So I'm wondering if sending sympathy cards, or acknowledging someone's death, is no longer done? I still send cards and/or call. What experiences have others had?
I send them out often. Mainly to families who announce their gay kids marriage....
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Old 04-27-2016, 01:03 PM
Status: "The violence and killing has to stop!!." (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Lark Farm
4,090 posts, read 2,386,162 times
Reputation: 37915
Quote:
Originally Posted by Windwalker2 View Post
I'm glad you do this. Every note I wrote was really hard because I was, and still am, grieving my mother's loss. Having them ignored was hard.
Our mothers are special people and having lost my own mother I know the grief that you are feeling. My deepest sympathy to you for the loss of your mother.
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Old 04-27-2016, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,850 posts, read 766,605 times
Reputation: 5396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Windwalker2 View Post
My Mom died recently. I notified all my friends via Email, and then went through her address book notifying her friends and our relatives by handwritten note. Most of the Email people replied via Email that they were sorry to hear it. One said I was lucky to have had my Mom so long when hers had died younger, which seemed kind of snarky. Out of all the notifications, I got only one sympathy card. And only one person who asked who to donate to in her name. None of the people I notified by mail, which took a long time to do, even acknowledged I had sent the notice. I had mailed cards to many of these people when their parents died.

So I'm wondering if sending sympathy cards, or acknowledging someone's death, is no longer done? I still send cards and/or call. What experiences have others had?
There's a lot of things that were 'normal' when we grew up that are no longer done... and that's a shame.
Like holding the door open - and having that person you held it for, say 'Thank you'...
Which would be followed by a 'You're Welcome' and NEVER with a 'no problem'...


Manners are almost a thing of the past. The 'now' generation doesn't see past themselves, and it shows.
So, to answer your question, it is of my belief that sympathy cards are NOT out of style - just those that don't send them are!...
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Old 04-27-2016, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,372 posts, read 7,128,759 times
Reputation: 31089
Quote:
Originally Posted by UNC4Me View Post
I'm at the age where I keep a stock of sympathy cards in the house since my friends parents are dropping like files. I like to write a hand written note. Old fashioned maybe, but that's what I like to do.
Sometimes it's nice to actually have something physical in your hands and to see human handwriting.
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