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Old 05-02-2016, 11:37 AM
 
826 posts, read 960,799 times
Reputation: 1634

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I use to love to go on mountain and beach trips with friends. As long as we were out doing something, I was in.

I lost my mother back in 2012 and my father late 2015. Now I'm 30 years old and getting home-sick when I'm gone overnight from home. Over the past couple of weeks I have had to go on an overnight business trip and then this weekend I was gone for two days on a beach trip with a friend. Both trips I was really home-sick at night wishing I could be home. I also have a dog that I absolutely hate leaving even though I know he's perfectly fine.

I never use to be like this. Sometimes I feel like my dog is my only family that I have left. While I was caregiving for my father the past couple of years, he helped me look after my dog while I was at work so I guess I feel like a little bit of my dad is in the dog. Maybe it's because I'm scared of losing someone or something else? I feel like if I'm not there, something may happen. It's ridiculous to say the least and it's ruining any kind of fun I'm attempting to have.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?
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Old 05-02-2016, 11:56 AM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,968,489 times
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your father hasn't been gone very long at all, I think you are grieving. it does take time to get used to the idea that both your parents are gone. keep looking forward and try to be as happy as you can, there will always be times when you miss your folks like crazy.
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Old 05-02-2016, 12:35 PM
Status: "You canít be reasonable when dealing with the unreasonable." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Lark Farm
4,087 posts, read 2,384,396 times
Reputation: 37855
First of all you have my sympathy for the loss of both your parents and especially at such a young age. I experienced the loss of both my parents and both siblings whenI was in my thirties. For me feeling homesick comes as part of the grief over their loss. Even though it's been twenty plus years I often feel homesick for my family members.

Grief is different for everyone. I will often feel guilty about being alive and about my family members not getting to enjoy some of the things that they should be sharing with me. I don't know if any of this rings a bell with you. When you mentioned being afraid of losing someone else you love, that remark resonates with me. I'm far from an expert but I think the emotions you are feeling are quite normal considering you've lost both parents so closely.

Again you have my sympathy.
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Old 05-02-2016, 01:49 PM
 
826 posts, read 960,799 times
Reputation: 1634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larksong View Post
First of all you have my sympathy for the loss of both your parents and especially at such a young age. I experienced the loss of both my parents and both siblings whenI was in my thirties. For me feeling homesick comes as part of the grief over their loss. Even though it's been twenty plus years I often feel homesick for my family members.

Grief is different for everyone. I will often feel guilty about being alive and about my family members not getting to enjoy some of the things that they should be sharing with me. I don't know if any of this rings a bell with you. When you mentioned being afraid of losing someone else you love, that remark resonates with me. I'm far from an expert but I think the emotions you are feeling are quite normal considering you've lost both parents so closely.

Again you have my sympathy.
Thank you Larksong, I'm sorry to hear about your parents and siblings. I can't imagine losing siblings as well.

I feel this way a lot that is bolded. I feel I don't deserve to be here enjoying some of things I have. It's not a good idea but I've been looking at pictures of my mom and dad before they had me and I know they had some great times. It's a little strange seeing them when they were around my age. They had me so late that people often thought they were my grandparents.

I've been packing away a lot of pictures and other childhood memories and putting them in off-site storage. I yearn so much for the past that I have to get them somewhere where they're not easily accessible. I think a lot has to do with I really don't know where to go from here. I no longer have my parents to ask for advice.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:28 PM
Status: "You canít be reasonable when dealing with the unreasonable." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Lark Farm
4,087 posts, read 2,384,396 times
Reputation: 37855
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebellious1 View Post
Thank you Larksong, I'm sorry to hear about your parents and siblings. I can't imagine losing siblings as well.

I feel this way a lot that is bolded. I feel I don't deserve to be here enjoying some of things I have. It's not a good idea but I've been looking at pictures of my mom and dad before they had me and I know they had some great times. It's a little strange seeing them when they were around my age. They had me so late that people often thought they were my grandparents.

I've been packing away a lot of pictures and other childhood memories and putting them in off-site storage. I yearn so much for the past that I have to get them somewhere where they're not easily accessible. I think a lot has to do with I really don't know where to go from here. I no longer have my parents to ask for advice.
A lot of what you wrote hits home with me. We have several similarities with our losses.

Do you have other family members that you are close to? Do you have siblings to share your grief with?

I do know that it takes awhile before regaining a normal feeling about life in general.
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