What to do with her personal stuff?

[Buckeye77]

Just received word today that my late wife's oldest daughter passed away this morning. She was 49, and was born with spina bifida. She had undergone surgery earlier in the week to remove a kidney, and they thought she was doing well, and was going to be discharged tomorrow. When she was born the doctors told my wife (and her husband) that the little girl would only live about a week.


At least she is now reunited with her mother. (As far as I know her father had not told her about her mother's passing.)

[G Grasshopper]

Wow. It sounds like you may not have been too close to your wife's daughter who died, but even if that is the case, it seems like an additional blow, and additional experience of death. Personally, I think you are right that she is now reunited with her mom, but now she is healed. What joy that must be! It is a good thing to think about. I know, however, that comforting thoughts don't take away the pain of the losses. My condolences.

[Nov3]

I am so sorry for these turn of events in your life journey thru this grief.

I think G said it best: "Do not feel that there is any rush in getting rid of things. In my experience, it does not make the pain go away to throw everything out. This is going to be a slow process. Give yourself permission to take your own time."

I am three and a half years into my grief, and a jacket still comes out of the closet on those nights of comfort...and I wear it....

Create three piles- Now, six months and Who knows!

I sat and simply put things in the Now pile...then some things I put in the six month box, then the Who Knows was the easiest! Because it left a bit of wonderment of , who Knows who will need this or create something with it, ! It brought some comfort to know that in due time, they will find a place....

Then 6 months later, I did the same thing...Now, six months and Who Knows! each time...it progressed.

Inch by inch...

Again, prayers to you thru this journey.

[Buckeye77]

Things are getting better. Found the Salvation Army store ("Sally Shop) in Hilo, so 3 weeks ago I donated 40 pair of shoes my late wife still had (she had sold a lot before we left Florida), 2 weeks ago I donated 36 pair of slacks/jeans, today was 22 dresses. These were all in a spare closet. A couple still had price tag on them, and 3 or 4 were still in dry cleaner plastic bag from Ohio, which has at least 8 years ago. Haven't started on "our" closet yet. Also donated her wheelchair to a small clinic where she had to go to for certain shots. (Something about white blood cells.)

My goal next week is to attack the non-donatable items - she has about 3 dozen swim suits, intimate apparel, etc, and get rid of as many as them as I can.

Mahalo to everybody for your thoughts and support.