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Old 05-12-2016, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,003,976 times
Reputation: 9423

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Today it was my niece calling me & asking when the memorial was going to be. My son's cousins want to be there but need a date so they can make plans to ask for time off work.


I had to call my oldest brother, who was very close to my son, to see what would work for him, then inform other brothers what would work & have them check their schedules. Then I was asked whether I'm going to bury the ashes or let them go over the lake.


I don't know! I haven't thought that far.


The general consensus is that it will be in July. Now my brothers have to decide among themselves which date works best.


No wonder they say parents shouldn't outlive their children. I'm not prepared for this and am so tired of pretending that I am strong.


Have been leaking tears all day.
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Old 05-12-2016, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,003,976 times
Reputation: 9423
I have to add that my son was close to all 5 of my brothers & would have let them know what he would've wanted. He & I had talked about it & he wanted his ashes spread out into the San Francisco Bay area. Well, that's not going to happen but he also loved the lake on the family farm. I'm hoping he told my brothers what he wanted, outside of San Francisco.


As he often told me, they talked "guy" talk, which is much different from Mom/Son talk.
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Old 05-13-2016, 03:53 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,879,110 times
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Truly sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers with you! Of course it is hard for a parent.
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Old 05-13-2016, 09:44 AM
Status: " ." (set 1 day ago)
 
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It calls on reserves you didn't know you had and reserves that you don't want to use up I know.
I hope the act of reaching out to your brothers helps you somehow.
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Old 05-13-2016, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,836 posts, read 6,606,791 times
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I am so sorry for your loss, meo. If you spread them out on the lake, you can feel him close by.
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Old 05-15-2016, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,003,976 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
I am so sorry for your loss, meo. If you spread them out on the lake, you can feel him close by.
Thank you. I will keep a small urn but you are right. There's also the freedom factor. It may sound silly but I don't really want him in the ground. I want his spirit to soar.
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Old 05-17-2016, 04:13 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
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Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm better today because we've all reached an agreement on the date. I can relax a bit now, for a while at least. His memorial will be July 19th.

I'm leaving a lot of the things to my sister, who was his 'other mother', but will do a lot of the cooking. We'll do a poster board of his life & just give thanks he was in our lives.

I know he made a difference in my brother's lives. They all treasured him & it shows in how they raised their children.

I'll always miss him but am glad he is finally at peace and without pain. RIP my beautiful son. RIP.
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Old 07-15-2016, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
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Tomorrow is the day. It will be peaceful and loving . My sister & I have spent days putting together a photo board from his birth to his death. Goodbye my dear love, my son.
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Old 07-16-2016, 10:58 AM
 
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Thinking of you today, dear Meo. I hope the day brings you peace. *Hugs*
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Old 07-16-2016, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,003,976 times
Reputation: 9423
Quote:
Originally Posted by trobesmom View Post
Thinking of you today, dear Meo. I hope the day brings you peace. *Hugs*
My family made the day very special. I asked each person to share their memories and everyone had their own special stories to share.

Then my brothers did the impossible. One drove me down the hill, to the dock which had been taken out by the storm. That same brother waded in and brought the boat to what was left of the dock and, between him and my oldest brother they got me into the boat. My nephew rowed us past the weeds and I let my son's ashes drift in the water.

It was a beautiful experience and I know my son is in a place he loved. I will always have that memory.
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