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Old 05-20-2016, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,581 posts, read 4,787,196 times
Reputation: 16501

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I was getting ready to write a check for a memorial contribution. I wondered how other people feel about them. I have always been in favor of them and it is money better spent than on flowers. It seems that about 2/3 of the ones I contribute to are for a local hospice organization and I am always open to giving them money.
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Old 05-20-2016, 04:44 PM
Status: "The violence and killing has to stop!!." (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Lark Farm
4,092 posts, read 2,386,914 times
Reputation: 37935
Speaking from experience, floral arrangements and plants are overwhelming to deal with after the services. In the case of my deceased loved ones, I know they would be happy that donations made in their memory were used to help others out.

Most of the time I make a donation rather than sending a plant or floral arrangement.
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Old 05-20-2016, 07:58 PM
 
3,964 posts, read 5,251,370 times
Reputation: 4554
I think it's a good idea. When my husband's memorial service was announced, I specified the organization that would be a good place for contributions. There were not many made, but every little bit helps, I guess.
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Old 05-21-2016, 01:28 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,717 posts, read 21,770,674 times
Reputation: 27769
I named one and added "any similar organizations." A few people sent notes, cards, telling me they had donated to a particular charity. Sometimes the organization sent a card.

Two really nice, big arrangement's showed up at the funeral home. One left and one right. One was from the American Legion, and the other one was from a woman whose husband had died a month before. He and my husband been friends for many years. I had forgotten to order any flowers, and no one reminded or mentioned it to me. Saved by the kindness of others.

My mother always told me to give her flowers as long as she was alive, I did, and not bother bother when she was dead. I didn't.
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Old 06-04-2016, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,089 posts, read 5,502,748 times
Reputation: 6412
I have to say, I know people don't want to waste money on flowers and I get that. But I've been asked several times to chip in with cousins on floral arrangements for the viewing of family members. You expect to see SOME flowers around the casket. I remember when one cousin died, a really popular guy, the flowers were lined up all the way to the back of the room.

Therefore, I was shocked at my Mom's funeral that no one got flowers except me. I got a spray for above the casket and one from my son. At least it was something. A few people did give Mass cards and contributions to the hospice I had requested, which I appreciated, and I got some cash donations -- one of them was an anonymous donation of $275 cash. That's what I usually do when someone in the family dies -- I give a check to the family and tell them to use it however they want. Sometimes I figure it can help with the funeral expenses.
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Old 06-05-2016, 12:47 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,513 posts, read 11,495,704 times
Reputation: 21008
Funerals seem to have changed, not all but most.... families now ask for a contribution to a charity to be give instead of flowers... and only close family put a flower... although I still see heares go by full of arrangements... but to be honest its such a waste when the money could go to the deceased family or a charity..... I was in the Glasgow Necropilis a few days ago and saw a grave from the 1960s and 70s with all the flowers still on the grave from the day of the burial, it looks out of place ..and sad... I wonder why the council havent removed these flowers..
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Old 06-05-2016, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,581 posts, read 4,787,196 times
Reputation: 16501
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avalon08 View Post
I have to say, I know people don't want to waste money on flowers and I get that. But I've been asked several times to chip in with cousins on floral arrangements for the viewing of family members. You expect to see SOME flowers around the casket. I remember when one cousin died, a really popular guy, the flowers were lined up all the way to the back of the room.

Therefore, I was shocked at my Mom's funeral that no one got flowers except me. I got a spray for above the casket and one from my son. At least it was something. A few people did give Mass cards and contributions to the hospice I had requested, which I appreciated, and I got some cash donations -- one of them was an anonymous donation of $275 cash. That's what I usually do when someone in the family dies -- I give a check to the family and tell them to use it however they want. Sometimes I figure it can help with the funeral expenses.
In the funerals I have been involved the flowers above the casket and an arrangement on each side were provided by the family. It was done at the same time as picking out the casket and making the other funeral arrangements.
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Old 06-11-2016, 06:46 AM
 
Location: Long Island
6,173 posts, read 2,567,114 times
Reputation: 4401
Yes when we made arrangements for my mom we ordered flowers at the same time. She and my dad both died in the fall and my mom had ordered arrangements in fall colors for my dad so we did the same. I like that much better than the roses in the shape of hearts type arrangements. Several people sent flowers but if people asked what they could do I mentioned a local city park where we also had a tree planted in my mom's memory. She and my dad visited the park often when they were dating. I want to be cremated and don't care about flowers after I go, but would love a bench or tree donated in my name along the Long Island Sound where I like to walk, or some money going to our local animal shelter or food pantry.
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Old 06-12-2016, 10:40 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,284 posts, read 50,539,435 times
Reputation: 60183
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
Funerals seem to have changed, not all but most.... families now ask for a contribution to a charity to be give instead of flowers... and only close family put a flower... although I still see heares go by full of arrangements... but to be honest its such a waste when the money could go to the deceased family or a charity..... I was in the Glasgow Necropilis a few days ago and saw a grave from the 1960s and 70s with all the flowers still on the grave from the day of the burial, it looks out of place ..and sad... I wonder why the council havent removed these flowers..
That's weird, but those things can't possibly be from 40-50 years ago. Look how clean the ribbons are. Plus there is a Minion toy on the grave and some other character. That stuff was put there recently.
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