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Old 05-21-2016, 02:59 AM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 132,877 times
Reputation: 209

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So today was my 1st birthday spent without my dad. I turned 30 today. He died in Oct after being diagnosed with leukemia 2mos prior to that . He was the only person who loved me. My boyfriend of 2 years did nothing with me today and on top of that actually called me names. I took my boyfriend to a hotel and shopping on his birthday in February. Which was after my dad died. I feel now I have noone
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Old 05-21-2016, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Sonoran Desert, AZ
2,838 posts, read 1,163,727 times
Reputation: 6053
Goochgirl - Wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I'm fresh out. All of the "special" days (birthdays, Christmas, etc) will be tough for the first couple of years. Don't know what to say about your-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend. It's his loss.


Hang in there.
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Old 05-21-2016, 03:24 PM
 
4,804 posts, read 1,355,105 times
Reputation: 4771
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
So today was my 1st birthday spent without my dad. I turned 30 today. He died in Oct after being diagnosed with leukemia 2mos prior to that . He was the only person who loved me. My boyfriend of 2 years did nothing with me today and on top of that actually called me names. I took my boyfriend to a hotel and shopping on his birthday in February. Which was after my dad died. I feel now I have noone

This is sad, but in honor of your father, I suggest you dump your boyfriend. I'm sure the first wish of your father would be for you to find someone who is good to you, and that you reach out in the world and connect to friends who will come to love you.
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Old 05-21-2016, 09:06 PM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 132,877 times
Reputation: 209
that was suppose to say my boyfriend of 8 years
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Old 05-21-2016, 09:08 PM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 132,877 times
Reputation: 209
Yea he probably would want me to do that. He wanted me to do that before sometimes. But I do love my bf. We have 2 kids together, 6 an 8 yrs old. Been together 8 years. I am so upset noone called me took me anywher nocake. I even paid for a sitter for nothing
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Old 05-22-2016, 06:25 PM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,248,587 times
Reputation: 4549
I spent 43 years with a wonderful man (my husband) who was kind and loving and intelligent, but didn't have it together with birthdays and other holidays. He would frequently forget, or he would remember but not know what to do. After a few years of feeling hurt by this, I decided that it was MY responsibility if these things made me unhappy. So I started telling him (kindly) what I would like on birthdays, mothers' day, etc. He tried really hard to do it right. But after a while, I sort of stopped asking because I realized that, while while that kind of celebration really wasn't natural to him, he was great on every other day. Those "special" days really faded in importance to me.

You have obviously lost someone (your dad) who was a major support for you. You need to figure out how to regain that support. Tell your boyfriend what you are missing from your dad. Perhaps you will come to a new understanding.
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Old 05-23-2016, 08:39 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,202 posts, read 50,499,962 times
Reputation: 60095
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
So today was my 1st birthday spent without my dad. I turned 30 today. He died in Oct after being diagnosed with leukemia 2mos prior to that . He was the only person who loved me. My boyfriend of 2 years did nothing with me today and on top of that actually called me names. I took my boyfriend to a hotel and shopping on his birthday in February. Which was after my dad died. I feel now I have noone
If nothing else, you now know something about your boyfriend's character. It is painful, but better to know now. Find someone who your Dad would have been happy to see you with, some one who loves you like he did. Dump this cold loser.

I am sorry for your loss. Hold the love you got from your father in your heart and move forward with it. No one can take that away from you.
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Old 05-23-2016, 08:57 PM
 
4,107 posts, read 3,447,161 times
Reputation: 8179
I'm sorry for your loss.

Even though it is a couple days after, go buy or make yourself a birthday cake & get some ice cream and enjoy it with your family. A nice bouquet or flowering plant, too.
Your children need to celebrate your birthday just as you celebrate theirs.

Last edited by historyfan; 05-23-2016 at 08:58 PM.. Reason: Edit
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Old 05-23-2016, 09:03 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,633,393 times
Reputation: 33226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
If nothing else, you now know something about your boyfriend's character. It is painful, but better to know now. Find someone who your Dad would have been happy to see you with, some one who loves you like he did. Dump this cold loser.

I am sorry for your loss. Hold the love you got from your father in your heart and move forward with it. No one can take that away from you.

That's not so easy to do, the OP has two children with him.

OP, again sorry for your loss. I posted on your other thread look into bereavment support groups. You will be around people who understand what you're going through.
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Old 05-23-2016, 10:54 PM
 
26,163 posts, read 14,457,966 times
Reputation: 17235
Unhappy  

Goochgirl I am so sorry.......

I hope your birthday was ok!!
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