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Old 05-28-2016, 06:17 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,639,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
She's been your coworker for 16 years???

CALL HER!!!

If she doesn't want to talk she will not pick up. Leave her a message and let her know you are thinking of her.

She may want to talk because she needs a break from making funeral arrangements FOR BOTH PARENTS.

Agree, working with someone for 16 years is a lifetime these days when most people change jobs every few years.

The card is a great idea as well but a phone call is wonderful.

I can't even imagine, I lost my parents a year apart and that was devastating. I hope she has family to support her.

Sandy, this is very thoughtful of you, but you know her pain. You also know if she is the hugging type or not, I would start with a phone call.
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Old 05-29-2016, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,203 posts, read 15,015,619 times
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Thank you, everyone, for all of the replies! There is a lot of good advice for me to think about.

She's not really the hugging type. I bought a greeting card, but wrote a personal note in it, something like, "We all have to walk this path of grief, but I'm sorry it's your time to do so."

I like the idea of a small bouquet of flowers!

I've talked to her a few times, because she has called in to see how everything is going in her absence. After she called in during our team's morning meeting to tell us how poorly her mom was doing, I texted her: "My sympathy to all of you! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please let us know if you need anything!" She texted back: "Thank you." and added a heart emoticon.

I'll offer my condolences again on Tuesday, and then go from there. Like I said, after two weeks of dealing with this, she may just want to hibernate as much as possible, to get back to normal (well, a new normal, of course). We're very close as coworkers, and I've been working for/with her almost my entire career at this company. She's a wonderful person, and I feel very lucky to have her on my side!

Thanks again, everyone!
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Old 05-29-2016, 08:56 AM
 
3,964 posts, read 5,249,971 times
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It sounds to me as if your instincts on this have been perfect.

Blessings
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Old 05-30-2016, 01:00 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,740,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Bagu View Post
I will still go with a HUG. As a Male had not seen or spoke with a good Male friend even tho we live close by. I still jumped out of my car and shook his hand and gave a nice HUG saying that I was happy to see him.
Asked about a couple of mutual friends and his response was that they had passed away within the past couple of years. We are in our Senior years.

OP is a co worker of many years so think they are past the hand shake and a sorry thing.

Personally I would rather have a face to face condolence then a card left for me considering many years of association.

I'm 84 and who is going to read any cards after I'm gone?........nobody.
After my parents died (a few months apart), I sat and read and re-read the cards sent to my dad when my mom died, and the cards sent to me when my dad died. I still have all the cards 27 years later. Most of their friends are gone now, but their messages are memories that I cherish. My parents were in their 70's when they passed, and not only do I still look at the cards, but my kids do too as they also knew a lot of my parents' friends.
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Old 05-30-2016, 02:24 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,639,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcy1210 View Post
After my parents died (a few months apart), I sat and read and re-read the cards sent to my dad when my mom died, and the cards sent to me when my dad died. I still have all the cards 27 years later. Most of their friends are gone now, but their messages are memories that I cherish. My parents were in their 70's when they passed, and not only do I still look at the cards, but my kids do too as they also knew a lot of my parents' friends.

Thank you. I do the same exact thing. It has only been a couple of years for me now, but I have cards for both parents, it's amazing what people wrote. I keep them all in a tin box and look at them from time to time.
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Old 05-31-2016, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,203 posts, read 15,015,619 times
Reputation: 7951
I gave her a big hug this morning (after asking if she'd like a hug). I also ordered flowers that were supposed to be delivered this morning, but weren't delivered until she had left for the day. Oh, well, I'm sure she'll see them tomorrow! She looked worn out. The memorial service for both parents is on Saturday, and I'll probably go just to pay my respects and support her.
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Old 05-31-2016, 09:39 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,783,290 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gouligann View Post
The poor girl. My heart goes out to her with her double loss.

I think you should know her well enough after working with her for 16 years if she's the hugging type or not. If she is, definitely give her a hug and tell her you are so sorry.

A nice card and a small bouquet of flowers is appropriate too in my opinion.
Iagree with the cards and flowers. When my brother died, my "boss" (he is a doctor I type for) sent me flowers. They were unexpected and I was so touched.
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