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Old 06-12-2016, 12:45 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,098 posts, read 3,918,635 times
Reputation: 18761

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I am so sorry for the loss of your son - it must be a difficult time for you.
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Old 06-12-2016, 02:45 PM
 
Location: State of Waiting
607 posts, read 716,430 times
Reputation: 1390
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJ Brazen_3133 View Post
If your granddaughter is 18 she is old enough to see you on her own.
Exactly!

I understand that you WANT to see your grand daughter. But why lower your standards and say "ok" to allow that evil mean mother to come? No way. She was divorced from your son, I truly believe that she has ulterior motives for wanting to attend the service. This service is NOT ABOUT HER! It is about your son. Ignore that blankety blank blank.

Please do not answer the ex's calls. You can go onto your phone provider's website and block her number.

If this ends up causing additional distress with the granddaughter... it very well might... prepare yourself. This evil person ruled your granddaughter's life for a long time. I don't think your "reunion" will be all the flowers and bows and skipping in the park that you are hoping for. When a child is brought up by an evil manipulative person, some of the negativity rubs off in one way or another, sad to say. Please review your expectations regarding your granddaughter... (speaking from experience here)

I am so sorry for your loss. Please try and limit your contact with stressful people and stressful situations during this coming time, it will be tough enough. Be kind to yourself. It is human nature want to grasp onto any piece of your wonderful son (i.e., your granddaughter) but please guard your heart considering the entire situation.
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Old 06-17-2016, 09:32 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,531 posts, read 42,694,765 times
Reputation: 57184
Speak directly to your granddaughter. She is of age to make her own decisions and she is also old enough to know what her mother is like.
I would tell her how much I would love to see her, or talk with her, any time she wants, but that for reasons she already knows, you will not be having a relationship with her mother. Period.
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Old 06-17-2016, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,003,976 times
Reputation: 9423
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Speak directly to your granddaughter. She is of age to make her own decisions and she is also old enough to know what her mother is like.
I would tell her how much I would love to see her, or talk with her, any time she wants, but that for reasons she already knows, you will not be having a relationship with her mother. Period.
We haven't gotten that far yet. We are currently contacting each other via social media. She did ask me to scan pictures of her and her dad which leads me to believe the mother destroyed dad's photos. I understand, the mom is in none of my pictures either.


But, no. I am not going to invite her to his memorial. I will invite my granddaughter, which I have already done, but not her mother.


I have started scanning pictures for her every day. Unfortunately they end when she is 5.
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Old 07-03-2016, 12:59 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,003,976 times
Reputation: 9423
UPDATE: The memorial service for my son will be July 16th, when most family members can attend.


As my sister & I were putting together photos for the 3 fold board, which we realized will now have to be 2 of the 3 fold boards, I realized/remembered that I'd given his wife an entire album, so those years are missing.


I will be calling her about this but am fairly certain she destroyed the album. We'll see.


What did hit me, as we were putting the pictures in chronical order, he was always smiling; From a baby to graduation, he was always smiling. I so miss that smile.
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