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Old 08-11-2016, 05:43 PM
 
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This all sounds great to me. Yes, I can understand feeling a bit guilty about the "making it my own" things. After all, you spent years putting effort into being a part of a team, trying NOT to do your own thing, but to be united. And you didn't ask for this new independence. But it is here. When you feel guilty, just tell yourself that the feeling is natural and OK, but you are just going to keep going so that you can make a new life for yourself. And yes, grieving often comes in waves. But each time there is a wave, you have had more experience in the fact that the wave will pass.

Keep pushing on, Cookies, you are doing great!
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Old 08-11-2016, 08:26 PM
 
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That is wonderful news, MLC! Thinking about you and your precious daughter. *Hugs*
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Old 08-11-2016, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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I have been reading your thread and hoping the best for you and your family. You have mentioned your younger daughter numerous times but your older daughter only a few times. She was 12 when you married so she may have been quite close to her step-father. How is she adjusting to his death? She may be an adult, but I would imagine that it would still be quite difficult for her. Perhaps, you can grieve together and gain strength from each other.

Hugs to you and your family.
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Old 08-12-2016, 10:45 AM
 
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My oldest daughter was very close with my husband when she was younger but they grew a part when she moved out four years ago. I tried to get her to spend more time with us but like most young people she wanted to be with her boyfriend and friends. My husband didn't take it personally and thought it was a normal part of growing up while I was a little bit more hurt by her distance.

It's hard to tell how she's dealing with all of this because she won't open up to me. She keeps telling me that she's fine and that she's more worried about me. We spend time together and it's good. All I can do is keep trying to get her to talk but I can't force her. He loved her like she was his own daughter and she knew that. She loved him too and she hurts. She'll talk to me when she's ready.
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Old 08-17-2016, 10:39 AM
 
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Hello MLC. Just checking in to see how you're doing. I've been thinking about you and your baby girl. I know you are probably very busy packing and getting ready to move. I hope everything is moving along according to plan. *Hugs*
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Old 08-17-2016, 10:26 PM
 
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I haven't been here in a while so I thought I'd check in and I saw your message trobesmom, yes, I've pretty much been doing exactly what you guessed, packing and getting set up at my new house.

I've actually been doing much better since I found the new house. It's given me something good to focus on and I don't feel so hopeless. I also feel like I'm getting used to being a single parent and I'm not as overwhelmed taking care of my daughter alone anymore. I feel stronger and more capable than I have since all of this happened.

Of course tomorrow I might feel like hell again but I'm just going to appreciate the good days when I get them. Today was okay. I miss my husband and I always will. It still hurts.

Thanks for checking in on me. I hope you're doing well also.
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Old 08-18-2016, 12:56 AM
 
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You sound good, Cookies. Yes, there will be days when you are down, and you will miss him forever, I imagine, but I'm really glad that you are looking ahead and feeling your strength. Life will gradually unfold for you. You are doing great.
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Old 08-18-2016, 03:54 PM
 
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Aw, sweetie, I'm so glad you are having good days! And I agree, this move is a positive thing to keep you focused. Hope is a good thing.
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Old 08-18-2016, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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Thank you for updating. I am so glad that you are having some good days. Hugs.
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Old 08-21-2016, 08:33 PM
 
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I thought I was doing better, I had a few decent weeks but a wave of sadness snuck up on me and my heart feels broken all over again. I knew I wasn't healed but I felt stronger and I was starting to see a little bit of hope. I don't know what happened but it was like a switch was flipped back on (or off) and I just miss my husband so much it hurts.

I keep thinking about the ocean analogy that grasshopper wrote about a while back and I feel like the waves are crashing down hard on me right now.

Last edited by melovescookies; 08-21-2016 at 09:14 PM..
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