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Old 06-16-2016, 07:36 PM
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Lots of psychiatry and psychologists take sliding scale fees. Ask before you go in. I know it's expensive but sliding scale makes it affordable.
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Old 06-16-2016, 10:11 PM
635 posts, read 399,867 times
Reputation: 1762
The house I'm currently living in is falling apart and my landlord won't make any repairs so I really do need to move now. We were looking for another house to rent before my husband died so this isn't a spur of the moment decision.

There is a water leak somewhere on the property which has caused me to have an enormous water bill for the last two months and the landlord has still not sent someone out to fix the problem. The house also has termites, a ceiling fan that is about to fall out of the ceiling and a long list of other problems that my landlord refuses to address.

At this point I don't have it in me to fight and I just want to leave. I don't have a lease so I'm not stuck and considering the circumstances I doubt my landlord would care if I left.

I know that I need to start eating normally again for my daughter's sake and tomorrow I will make myself eat at least one meal. Despite my lack of appetite I always feed my daughter three meals a day plus two snacks like before so I am surrounded by food all day, I just have no desire to eat. I guess at this point I just have to force myself to do it. I'm all she has left so I know I need to get it together and take care of myself. Thanks everyone.
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Old 06-17-2016, 12:38 AM
3,171 posts, read 4,849,443 times
Reputation: 2598
I'm so sorry. Just know someone is saying a prayer for you.
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Old 06-17-2016, 07:39 AM
Location: SW Florida
9,247 posts, read 4,030,526 times
Reputation: 19107
TO THE OP: Don't make any major decisions at this time in your life. You need time to grieve, maybe to even go through the entire 5 stages of grief before you make any major upheavals in your life. My husband died in 2010 and my big mistake was making too many decisions that first month, many of which I regret.

My thoughts are with you, it is not easy and I can only tell you that the sadness will lessen.
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Old 06-17-2016, 09:41 AM
4,530 posts, read 6,207,227 times
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Oh honey...I have a daughter about your age with a young son and my heart just breaks for you. Like an above poster said...know there are people out there wishing you well and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

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Old 06-17-2016, 09:51 AM
Location: In a house
21,926 posts, read 20,990,216 times
Reputation: 14856
While we are not professionals here many of us have gone through the loss of our husband so we know first hand more then we would like to know. There is no easy way to get through grief sadly but as I have been told many times "one day at a time". Your daughter, while still a huge responsibility is in my opinion your saving grace. You are not alone and you are indeed needed. For today keep your concerns with her and yourself. I still have a big problem eating but work hard to make myself eat. I lost my husband nearly 2 years ago to ALS and am still struggling. But I did get a job, got my SS benefits--at least a partial amount, and live alone. That is the hard part for me--being alone and so far from family. Keep your head up and do one day at a time. Thinking of you......
I thought I might add--group therapy worked best for me....I now have a personal therapist but cannot see her as much as I'd like because of the price..they are trying to get some donations to help cut the cost for many of us in need but with limited amount of funds.

Last edited by cynwldkat; 06-17-2016 at 10:47 AM..
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Old 06-17-2016, 11:39 AM
Location: between Mars and Venus
1,525 posts, read 787,668 times
Reputation: 2012
Hope you find strength to soothe your pain away and comfort in the love for your daughter.
Everyday gets better blessings to you
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Old 06-17-2016, 03:09 PM
2,008 posts, read 2,073,110 times
Reputation: 3076
Some support groups - like the ones at hospitals, hospices and churches - have childcare. Maybe even some of the other ones as well since I bet this is a common issue. I'm so sorry for what happened.
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Old 06-17-2016, 04:03 PM
635 posts, read 399,867 times
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I haven't even looked into the support groups yet because I've been so busy packing and looking for a place. I don't even really know where I'm going yet I just know that I have to go somewhere else.

I hadn't thought about the support group providing child care so that's good to know. Friends have told me to contact Hospice but I wasn't sure if it would be a good fit for me since my husband died in an accident and not from a prolonged illness. I honestly don't know much about Hospice because I never needed to before.

Anyway, today was another tough day. I've been packing and organising all day and just looking at all of his belongings breaks my heart. I feel like each day is getting harder because I just miss him more and more. I think I hate the weekends the most.
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Old 06-17-2016, 05:15 PM
13,501 posts, read 14,064,566 times
Reputation: 11132
can you get some day help to help you with packing things away. I can imagine looking through hos belongings has to be extremely hard. have someone else put everything away in a box and deal with it when you have regained some of your emotional strength.

call someone in to help you with the baby. they can watch her and you can take a nap, take a walk, do some errands. profound grief is all encompassing, just having someone to help you in anyway would help. someone to make you dinner. maybe with some daily help for a short time you can find a bit more peace and be able to spend some happy time with your daughter.

try not to expect too much, too soon in your recovery, there is no play book. just do your best. sending you all the best.
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