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Old 06-18-2016, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Port Charlotte FL
924 posts, read 530,951 times
Reputation: 2514

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wow, my sincere condolences to all the posters that suddenly lost a spouse or family member..especially the OP..my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
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Old 06-18-2016, 06:33 PM
 
14,710 posts, read 29,879,007 times
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I have no advice - but I feel your pain and just want to send you some love, hugs and good vibes. We are here for you, so vent all you need to - this kind of grief and pain takes time to heal.
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Old 06-18-2016, 10:40 PM
 
379 posts, read 242,825 times
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What a great, thoughtful post. I especially agree about loneliness leading to bad romantic decisions. Saw that happen with a good friend's mother when her husband very unexpectedly passed away.

Best wishes OP, you've got what it takes to make it through this.
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Old 06-19-2016, 02:09 PM
 
635 posts, read 400,017 times
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It's been a busy weekend. I had a yard sale yesterday just to get rid of a bunch of my stuff before I move. I ended up giving more away than selling but at least it's gone.

Today has been a tough day. I should be spending Father's Day with my husband. I want to spoil him and make him breakfast and his favorite meal for dinner. I want to make him feel special. I want to thank him for giving me this beautiful little girl and for being such a great husband and father. Now I can't do any of those things. He's gone. He's in ashes on our bed. I wish I could at least sleep all day but I can't.

My little girl is dancing up a storm around me and laughing and being silly. She has no idea that it's Father's Day and that her daddy is dead. I'm going to dance with her now. This is so hard, it's killing me to fake it.

Last edited by melovescookies; 06-19-2016 at 02:46 PM..
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Old 06-19-2016, 05:17 PM
 
10,513 posts, read 7,601,136 times
Reputation: 18583
Fake it till ya make it. Peace mama. Just do your best.
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Old 06-19-2016, 05:38 PM
 
791 posts, read 2,975,071 times
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Melovescookies,
I am so sorry for your loss.

I haven't read through this entire thread but wanted to let you know about this blog which has lots of good info.
https://tulsage.wordpress.com/widows-and-widowers

.
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Old 06-19-2016, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,837 posts, read 6,643,837 times
Reputation: 7260
melovescookies, I am so sorry that you lost your husband. I can't imagine what you are going through. Sending you big {{{{hugs}}}}.
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Old 06-19-2016, 05:46 PM
 
791 posts, read 2,975,071 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
Another thing regarding a grief group or counselor make sure they have gone through the loss of a spouse at a young age . I could not find one who had been with their spouse less than 20 yrs when they lost them . So grief groups or counselors are not great for someone so young indeed as another poster mentioned . Find an age appropriate one if you decide you want to go that route . Good luck and God bless you .

Agree!
If anyone tells you that you need to be over your grief in a certain time, they do not have a clue what they are talking about, even if they did go to school and that was what they were taught.

I don't know where you are but in Oklahoma there are small groups of "Widows only", through Stand in the Gap ministry. Only another widow can understand so PLEASE seek them out.

They have a very short video here: Stand In The Gap for Widows | Stand In The Gap Ministries that says what others don't seem to understand.


https://www.facebook.com/StandintheG...unityforWidows
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Old 06-19-2016, 05:48 PM
 
791 posts, read 2,975,071 times
Reputation: 626
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
.... I am wondering if that two year old may be your salvation. Think of her as you and your husbands love living on..
Exactly what I thought when I read about her dancing today. She is part of your husband and she is dancing on Father's Day.
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Old 06-19-2016, 09:41 PM
 
635 posts, read 400,017 times
Reputation: 1762
Quote:
Originally Posted by OneDayAttaTime View Post
Exactly what I thought when I read about her dancing today. She is part of your husband and she is dancing on Father's Day.
As hard as it's been taking care of my baby through all of this and as difficult as it's going to be raising her alone I honestly don't know if I could handle living if I didn't have her. I have an older daughter and I love her with all of my heart but she's a grown woman and she doesn't need me to take care of her. My baby is depending on me to give her a good life and I owe it to her and to my husband to provide that for her.

I know my older daughter needs me in her life and all of this has been very hard for her also. She pulled away from us in the last few years and I think she feels guilty now for not spending more time with us. Since my husband died she's been coming over every three or four days to see me. I wish she would come over more but she has a life of her own.

I'm glad the weekend is over. I feel like I'm just trying to get the day time over with but I hate the night time so much. I feel so scared all the time. I'm terrified to be in my own house especially at night. I can't even turn the lights off. I sleep on the floor in my daughter's room because I'm scared to sleep anywhere else.

I always felt so safe with my husband but now I feel so vulnerable and alone. I hate this feeling. I don't know if it's going to get better or worse in a new place. I just want to feel safe. I was safe with him. I might be losing it. Thanks for reading.
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