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Old 06-23-2016, 08:29 AM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
369 posts, read 176,897 times
Reputation: 1503

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We joined a wonderful church in our new town a few months ago. We were welcomed with open arms, and feel like we belong there. Our Pastor's wife, who used to be very active in the church, had advanced cancer, and we never had to opportunity to meet her as she was too ill to attend church anymore. This past Monday she passed away. There will be a memorial service for her tomorrow at the church. We would like to go in support of our Pastor and our church family, but are not sure if that would be appropriate since we never met her personally. Should we go or not?
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Old 06-23-2016, 08:54 AM
 
4,108 posts, read 3,447,161 times
Reputation: 8179
Of course you can attend.

I've been to a few funerals for people I didn't personally know--- in support of and respect for a surviving family member who I did know.

Depending on the custom/locale/religious affiliation, some funerals are more private-- close friends/family type while the visitation/wake is more public. In that case, go to the more public aspect.
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Old 06-23-2016, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Vermont
10,089 posts, read 10,606,893 times
Reputation: 13438
Yes, go. As I get older I realize that going to the funeral is an important gesture for the survivors.
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Old 06-23-2016, 10:58 AM
 
9,084 posts, read 3,701,709 times
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I'd go, the service is for the remaining people, not the dead person...

I've gone to services where I didn't know anyone before, just had day off and saw it on church sign. they seemed to appreciate people being there, even though at the time they didn't know me. got to know them later on because we attended the church. it's probably a blur to them anyhow, they may not even remember everyone who was there, just that someone was there
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Old 06-23-2016, 11:56 AM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,248,587 times
Reputation: 4549
Yes. I just went to the memorial service for the father in law of a friend. I never met him, but I wanted to support my friend, and tell her husband (whose father it was) that I was sorry for his loss. I was glad I went.
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Old 06-23-2016, 12:10 PM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
369 posts, read 176,897 times
Reputation: 1503
Thank you everyone for your kind responses. We will probably go. She was very much loved by the congregation, and we have seen the pain and dignity with which our Pastor went through the last days with the woman he loved. I feel that going and showing our support is the right thing to do.
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Old 06-24-2016, 09:22 PM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
369 posts, read 176,897 times
Reputation: 1503
Well, we did go to the service. The entire church was full. The service was beautiful, and we felt like we got to know and appreciate the wonderful woman that she was. I am glad that we went and got to experience the true love and respect that everyone had for this amazing lady.
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