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Old 07-01-2016, 11:17 AM
 
81 posts, read 63,021 times
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I lost my husband, my heart, in March. He had indigestion after lunch, laid down, and his family (he was visiting out of town) called the ambulance a few minutes later. He was laughing and joking as he was loaded into the ambulance. Less than 10 minutes later, he was seizing and the ambulance workers were trying to get him back, his stretcher right there on the sidewalk in front of the ER. He was gone. This man, my hero, never had a sick day in his life, gone.

The life I loved is gone. I feel so lost and afraid. I am 52. He had been 60 for only one month. It's not fair. We never had any money, went on vacation only if his parents invited us to theirs. All we had -- all we needed -- was each other and our young adult kids. I am never going to be ok again. Everyone else is planning their vacations, their cookouts. I don't even have my husband. Why couldn't I just go with him? I could live another 30-plus years without him, longer than we were married, 28 years.

I am caring for our adult daughter with a disability, so I have to go on. To be honest, life has generally been a disappointment to me. I was very fortunate to have my husband. He was my light. He loved life. I wish I had been the one to go. I know I have to be strong, that I have to go on. People say they admire my strength. But I was already strong with him. Now I'm just alone.
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Old 07-01-2016, 11:36 AM
 
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Dear Jontwin4. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I hope that your children, family and friends can be of comfort to you. There are no words at a time like this. You just want your beloved back. Hugs to you.
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Old 07-01-2016, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,845 posts, read 51,301,408 times
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So sorry for your loss. The loss of a lifemate is a trauma, all the more so when sudden, all the more so when young.

I urge you to read this thread, as you will be able to relate and the two of you may be able to help each other because of your visceral understanding and feelings: Husband died recently- Reaching out
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Old 07-01-2016, 04:29 PM
 
81 posts, read 63,021 times
Reputation: 111
Thank you both for responding. Just to have someone listen, just hear my pain, helps.
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Old 07-01-2016, 08:55 PM
 
5,529 posts, read 1,947,601 times
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We are here for you, JonTwin. Wishing you a peaceful sleep. *Hugs*
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Old 07-02-2016, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,577 posts, read 4,782,672 times
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Sorry for your loss. Try to find someone you can talk to. Doesn't need to be a professional, a good friend will do.
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Old 07-02-2016, 09:38 PM
 
635 posts, read 395,560 times
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I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and I hope that you're doing alright. It's going to be tough but we're going to get through this holiday weekend.
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Old 07-03-2016, 12:36 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,704 posts, read 21,750,727 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jontwin4 View Post
Thank you both for responding. Just to have someone listen, just hear my pain, helps.
There's always someone here to listen. People listened to me and responded. You see, everyone here belongs to a club they never wanted to join, but once a member, always a member. Talk to us. We're a very loyal group.

I'm so sorry. You've lost your love and your best friend. It's hard enough to replace one, let alone two.

It's a long road to comfortable, but sometimes there's a ditch lily or shade tree along the way.
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Old 07-03-2016, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
5,843 posts, read 8,426,202 times
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So sorry for your loss. I have not suffered the loss of a beloved husband, such as yours, but I am sincerely hoping you have someone to talk to, to spend time with, and to grieve at your own pace.
Some friends just don't know what to say; others make attempts but can't really feel your pain. Some others even try to avoid this whole situation, not even trying to comfort or care for you.

Just as time goes by, you will heal. Time is your friend. You can and will go through this awful time. You won't stop in the middle of it, lingering in grief forever and ever. Time will make things better for you and the memories you have of your beloved husband will stay with you. Be strong. Have faith and trust. This is what grieving is all about. It will be okay.
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Old 07-07-2016, 12:11 PM
 
5,529 posts, read 1,947,601 times
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Dear JonTwin. Thinking about you today, and wishing you peace.
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