U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: Who would you spend that extra day with?
Friend 10 7.63%
Lover 16 12.21%
Family 105 80.15%
Voters: 131. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-31-2016, 01:17 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,737,637 times
Reputation: 7078

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
I have never understood anyone wanting to hang on to someone enough to want them to have to come back to this world. Yes I miss them but they are hopefully in a better place and I hope to see them again some day. Live and let live.
When someone you have loved for over 40 years dies without warning just hours after you'd been talking and laughing with them, and you weren't there when it happened, you can't possibly understand how much just one more day would mean. A last hug. A last kiss. A last "I love you". I couldn't even see him one last time.

I've lived alone for almost seven years. I would give anything to see him smile at me one more time, and to touch his face again.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-31-2016, 02:18 AM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,734 posts, read 6,172,701 times
Reputation: 4859
I understand how many people would choose one more day but would you enjoy that day to the fullest if you knew it was the last? I think in many cases there would be so many emotions that for many, it would be ruined. One person would want to discuss things and bring things in the open, being that it's their last chance. It's really not a good idea to add one more day. It is what it is. You can only accept what happened and move forward from it. Takes years to do for most. Having one more day would not be enough. Even while knowing how short and unpredictable life can be, we still don't live it to the fullest. I wish more people would do something about that instead of living with regrets and ruining the life you have now in the meantime.
__________________
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator : San Francisco-Oakland
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-18-2016, 12:49 AM
 
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,083 posts, read 5,496,975 times
Reputation: 6407
I would pick my Mom. She was elderly but died suddenly and unexpectedly, as Long Island Medium says, from a fall. I want her to come back to ask her what the heck happened? I still don't know why she would've been getting out of or back into bed by herself and what caused her to fall, or did something happen to her brain first that made her fall? I didn't want to think that she might have been scared during a fall and then possibly lying there for minutes while the effects of the brain bleed took over. I'd also want to catch her up on all the family gossip and the community that I moved into after she died. She'd be shocked. And I'd want to find out what heaven's like and is she having a good time with her family up there. I hope so!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-18-2016, 09:47 AM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
Reputation: 4549
I think MaggieZ kind of put a wet blanket on this thread with her negative comments. Indulging in this fantasy about seeing your loved one again, if only for a day, is not necessarily about resolving residual family conflicts, as she assumes. Some would like to ask a simple question. Some would like to ask about what the deceased person is experiencing now, or share some events that have happened, or just kiss and say "I love you" again. Some would like assurance of life after death (hasn't all mankind been wondering about that forever?) And thinking about seeing the person doesn't mean that survivors have not accepted the loss or "moved on." And it certainly doesn't mean that people are ruining their present lives because of regrets. You are right that, for many, one more day would not be enough; we all want our loved ones back, I imagine. But grieving is all about dealing with the fact that we can't have them back. And everyone has their own way and time table for working through grief. So for some, having that day might set them back in that in the process. But for many, it might give them feelings of resolution and peace. We are all different. So I would suggest, Maggie, that you lighten up a bit. This is a thread about a fantasy, no more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-18-2016, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Venus
4,251 posts, read 2,798,019 times
Reputation: 6788
I would have to pick my sister. I wasn't very close to her but her death hit me really hard. I just want to tell her that I love her and miss her very much.

Though I wouldn't mind seeing my mother, father, & step-father and all the cats/dogs I have lost.



Cat
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 10:41 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,205,914 times
Reputation: 7485
Quote:
Originally Posted by tanner View Post
My son. He was just 15 months old when leukemia stole his life. He had such a loving personality and was so sweet.

One day wouldn't make up for the many more decades he should have lived, but I'd love to hold him and play with him again, even if just for that one day.
Wow,this is the most painful to read on here......
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 10:44 AM
 
1,504 posts, read 574,673 times
Reputation: 1361
My lover of course. There have been many women in my life. Now in my mature years I have found a person that I like- who likes me - who truly LOVES me...every day with her is pure joy and security...I am in love....and we are angels.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 11:56 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,539 posts, read 3,003,976 times
Reputation: 9423
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcy1210 View Post
When someone you have loved for over 40 years dies without warning just hours after you'd been talking and laughing with them, and you weren't there when it happened, you can't possibly understand how much just one more day would mean. A last hug. A last kiss. A last "I love you". I couldn't even see him one last time.

I've lived alone for almost seven years. I would give anything to see him smile at me one more time, and to touch his face again.


You were given a gift. I wish I'd followed my instincts and called my brother the night he died of a heart attack, but I didn't. How wonderful that you had that last conversation, but I know what you mean. You wish you'd been there for that final hug.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2016, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Booth Texas
13,261 posts, read 4,228,306 times
Reputation: 1298
Quote:
Originally Posted by tanner View Post
My son. He was just 15 months old when leukemia stole his life. He had such a loving personality and was so sweet.

One day wouldn't make up for the many more decades he should have lived, but I'd love to hold him and play with him again, even if just for that one day.

Maybe you will.


I have a theory of children that when they die before they come of age, they have to be reborn to live and make choices themselves.


But then I am a weird bible believer, and so I might be thinking that there is a thousand year rule where babies come back, and if the person who lost that child is living within this Messianic age, who knows whether he will suddenly appear as a teenager come to look for you?


But that is out there, I just think anything is possible, and whether then, or whether 10,000 years from now, I sincerely believe you will see and know him again.


You must be a very strong person, so sorry.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2016, 08:24 PM
 
2,953 posts, read 1,388,601 times
Reputation: 5292
My mom, she passed away when I was a child. 1970. I barely remember when she wasn't sick.
For years I blocked out what I was missing. There isn't enough time to make the list. I missed a lot.
Now as a 50+ years old, I break down often after friends talk about going somewhere with their mom.

Recently a friend lost her 30 year old daughter to cancer. She left behind a 2 year old daughter.
Told my friend I will have a special connection with that child.

Thanks to everyone who is sharing their stories. Its very healing just reading them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top