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Old 08-27-2016, 09:45 AM
 
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I was always flabbergasted that the people telling me "Everything happens for a reason" after a death were the first to sue if they fell down in a parking lot or store.
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Old 08-27-2016, 11:31 AM
 
2,702 posts, read 3,434,261 times
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I also hate the phrase - It's God's will... Or It was God's plan....

I really hate all these phrases.. I mean why if there is a bus accident, what is the reason or God's plan for 1 person on the bus to be killed by being torn to bits while others are just hit in the head and die???

Makes no sense to me
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Old 08-27-2016, 01:06 PM
 
Location: northern New England
1,720 posts, read 699,146 times
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This was really brought home to me after 9/11. To hear someone say, "I prayed my spouse would be safe, and they were" seems like a giant slap in the face to those who prayed for someone's safety and that person died.

God answered your prayers but not mine? Well aren't you special. Tell me about it again, why don't you. And why did God answer the prayers of those who were on the lower floors, and could get out safely, but not those who were trapped above where the planes hit? Pretty sure EVERYONE was praying in the towers that day.
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Old 08-27-2016, 03:00 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,196 posts, read 50,480,930 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
This was really brought home to me after 9/11. To hear someone say, "I prayed my spouse would be safe, and they were" seems like a giant slap in the face to those who prayed for someone's safety and that person died.

God answered your prayers but not mine? Well aren't you special. Tell me about it again, why don't you. And why did God answer the prayers of those who were on the lower floors, and could get out safely, but not those who were trapped above where the planes hit? Pretty sure EVERYONE was praying in the towers that day.
Exactly. I survived, but so many I know did not. It was a matter of where you were. I was close to punching people who said God must have been looking.out for me, or like one idiot emailed me, "get down on your knees right now and thank God for getting you out alive..."

Bull. What happened that day had nothing to do with God and everything to do with humanity. I am Christian, but I did not want anything to do with religion for years afterward after seeing so many churches use the attacks as a recruiting tool while at the same time promoting the divisiveness toward other religions and cultures with the same type of thinking as those who carried out the attacks.
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Old 08-27-2016, 09:49 PM
 
12,842 posts, read 24,468,229 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
This was really brought home to me after 9/11. To hear someone say, "I prayed my spouse would be safe, and they were" seems like a giant slap in the face to those who prayed for someone's safety and that person died.
.
Exactly. Now, I know this discussion is for grief and mourning, which is likely to mean individual losses, not historical implications of big events. But growing up around Holocaust survivors and WW2 veterans, it was impossible to get any sense of "things happen for a reason" or "prayers answered" or whatever. And as others have pointed out, it can be downright cruel to say that or pass that thought along.
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Old 08-27-2016, 11:51 PM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
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I know this isn't a thread on religious philosophy, but I want to pass on a book that has really helped me in understanding why things happen. It is WHY? by Adam Hamilton. It is just a small book, and doesn't cost much, but was really valuable to me. If people really think about the divine gift of choice, they would not say some of these things. I believe in prayer but I believe in miracles of the heart, not so much physical miracles, and that people make all kinds of decisions that are not God's will, but they are allowed to happen because .... we have choice. I think people need to think more carefully about their religious and moral beliefs, and we are all guilty of just accepting things and not looking at the real meaning or implications. People can be thoughtless in the practice of religion, just as in other spheres of their lives. We all fall back to rote patterns of thinking and speaking for various reasons (stress, crowd mentality, laziness, etc.) But I certainly do agree with some of the comments about large disasters. While one may be grateful for escaping death while many others died, feeling like it is anything other than chance is thinking that, to me, is on shaky ground. Well, this would be a long discussion if I really went into it, and I don't think anyone wants that.
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Old 08-28-2016, 12:38 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
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No, I can't speak for anyone but myself, but, no I see no reasoning on why my son died. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
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Old 08-28-2016, 12:41 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,696 posts, read 21,741,083 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
I find starting a post with...."SIGH"......to be very condescending .


Perhaps if you rode a shorter horse no one would have to tell you to .." get off your high horse "
Sigh with exclamation points to boot.
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Old 08-28-2016, 05:39 AM
 
Location: Mt Shasta , Ca.
1,805 posts, read 1,242,662 times
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That author of the article is correct .
I cannot stand it anymore when people say that when at one time I used to actually believe it .
I think I have had WAY too much loss of family and friends and horrible, horrible luck no matter how hard I try to make the best decision . I mean it's ludicrous whats gone on in my adult life ( I left home 36 years ago) I KNOW how to make it yet nothing works , I KNOW right from wrong , yet I am the person that makes the left turn on the street because I NEED to go left and a piano falls on me. I am not even going to get into the massive deaths in my my family or with my friends . Weather related incidents , car wrecks , chronic illness that's hereditary etc.

Things do not happen for a reason another phrase that bothers me is "God needed another Angel " if I hear that once more once more to describe a tragic needless death I am going to flip .

I am sorry for all of us that go through these "tests" - oh you are just being tested for something greater. I don't believe it anymore and it looks like I am not alone .

Last edited by DutchessCottonPuff; 08-28-2016 at 05:49 AM..
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Old 08-28-2016, 12:17 PM
 
635 posts, read 395,383 times
Reputation: 1762
Quote:
Originally Posted by DutchessCottonPuff View Post
That author of the article is correct .
I cannot stand it anymore when people say that when at one time I used to actually believe it .
I think I have had WAY too much loss of family and friends and horrible, horrible luck no matter how hard I try to make the best decision . I mean it's ludicrous whats gone on in my adult life ( I left home 36 years ago) I KNOW how to make it yet nothing works , I KNOW right from wrong , yet I am the person that makes the left turn on the street because I NEED to go left and a piano falls on me. I am not even going to get into the massive deaths in my my family or with my friends . Weather related incidents , car wrecks , chronic illness that's hereditary etc.

Things do not happen for a reason another phrase that bothers me is "God needed another Angel " if I hear that once more once more to describe a tragic needless death I am going to flip .

I am sorry for all of us that go through these "tests" - oh you are just being tested for something greater. I don't believe it anymore and it looks like I am not alone .
Years ago after I had a miscarriage a co-worker actually said those stupid words to me “God needed another angel" and I remember being really insulted by her comment. I don't think I said anything back to her because I know she was trying to be comforting but it's still a dumb thing to say to someone that just lost their baby. So God gave me this baby that I loved just so he could take him away from me for his own purpose? That's not very nice.

This would be the first of many “tests" that God apparently had in store for me. He thought I handed the loss of my baby so well he took two more to shake me up. Then he was kind enough to give me a healthy baby but he wasn't through with his “tests" so he took my husband just to see what I was made of.

Either God has a sick sense of humor or nothing happens for a reason. I have to believe that random horrible things happen to good people or this invisible all powerful being hates me and takes pleasure in my misery.

Last edited by melovescookies; 08-28-2016 at 12:32 PM..
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