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Old 09-21-2016, 07:08 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,096 posts, read 3,918,635 times
Reputation: 18756

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Quote:
Originally Posted by melovescookies View Post
I am grateful that I have this forum and the support of so many understanding people here. It's good to have a place where we can vent and let out all that we are feeling without being judged. Sometimes I feel like in my real life I can't say a lot of the things that I say here because I don't want to worry people.

We had my husband's memorial about ten days after he died and I was so out of it at the time I let his sister take the lead on planning it. I had ultimate say on everything but she did a wonderful job and I'm so thankful that she was able to do it because I was in no condition to plan anything.

I read about your son's memorial here and it sounded like it turned out nice (as nice as a memorial can be.)

I don't like to look at my husband's pictures right now because it just brings me too much pain. I took all of his pictures down shortly after he died and haven't looked at them since. I still have pictures of him on my phone that I look at once in awhile but every time I do I lose it so I avoid them. It's very hard going to his parent's house because his pictures are everywhere. They're just a reminder of what I've lost. I hope someday I can look at them with joy and remember what I had.

People keep telling me that things will get better but I don't know about that. When you lose a part of your heart it doesn't grow back it's just gone.
I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. As hard as it is to believe right now while you are still grieving, it will get better. The first holidays without him will be difficult. My husband died August 21, 2010. I lost it at Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, four months later. There was an empty place at the family table, the place we always gathered on those days. I had to excuse myself from the table to have a good cry.


Then it was the rest of the holidays, his birthday, our anniversary, etc. It wasn't until last year that the grief subsided to the point where I don't cry when I talk about him. You will always think about him but it won't be as painful. It WILL get better and one day you will wake up and realize you have joy in your life again and you are happy. The time table is different for everyone. My thoughts are with you.
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Old 09-21-2016, 07:29 AM
 
15,824 posts, read 18,434,141 times
Reputation: 25604
OP...My deepest sympathies to you. I feel so badly for your loss of a young child.

It is good for you to have an outlet like this forum. There are many supportive and caring posters on this forum.

I lost my last two siblings in the last 4 years. I'm in my 60's. It is very hard, harder sometimes because I so miss being able to call and have 2-3 hour phone visits talking about anything and everything.

My deepest heartfelt sympathies go out to all the posters who have lost a loved one.
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Old 09-21-2016, 11:57 AM
 
28,411 posts, read 14,121,326 times
Reputation: 19545
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
I'm not quite sure what sets if off, although I think it was putting his photos from the post it boards into photo books that set off the sadness. Looking at his beautiful self and knowing I will never again see him on earth, sometimes seems unbearable.

Even now I have to stop because the tears cloud the screen. I want my baby boy back.

Thank you all for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for giving me an outlet.
So sorry for your loss.
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Old 09-21-2016, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,537 posts, read 3,003,976 times
Reputation: 9423
Jan, my son was 4. He died because he had heart problems. He will always be my baby boy.
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