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Old 08-26-2016, 12:08 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,549 posts, read 3,016,703 times
Reputation: 9437

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I'm not quite sure what sets if off, although I think it was putting his photos from the post it boards into photo books that set off the sadness. Looking at his beautiful self and knowing I will never again see him on earth, sometimes seems unbearable.

Even now I have to stop because the tears cloud the screen. I want my baby boy back.

Thank you all for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for giving me an outlet.
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Old 08-26-2016, 05:11 AM
 
Location: In a house
21,902 posts, read 20,917,414 times
Reputation: 14822
I feel your pain and am so sorry.
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Old 08-26-2016, 07:41 AM
 
Location: northern New England
1,746 posts, read 708,306 times
Reputation: 6831
(((hugs))) I am in my second year of widowhood and am getting slammed by the whole, "will never get another hug from him" line of thinking. Cried myself to sleep last night too.
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Old 08-26-2016, 01:44 PM
 
3,967 posts, read 5,255,783 times
Reputation: 4554
Such a terrible loss. God be with you.
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Old 08-27-2016, 03:06 PM
 
635 posts, read 396,407 times
Reputation: 1762
I know it doesn't do anything to ease your pain but I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband a little over three months ago so I'm also familiar with that feeling of unbearable sadness. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I know there are no words that can take away the pain. Take care the best you can.
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Old 08-28-2016, 12:31 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,549 posts, read 3,016,703 times
Reputation: 9437
You too melovescookies. The first months are the toughest. With my boy, since we had him cremated, I decided to wait to hold his memorial until most of my family could say goodbye.

Preparing for his memorial was tough, but it kept me busy. It was the 'afterwards' that set me off. Putting his pictures in photo albums (which I haven't finished doing) is what set me off.

I know it's going to take time, as it will with you. It's the moments that bring back the memories which make it hard.

And no, this too shall not pass. There will be many times when you and I will be grateful for this forum where we can let our grief out. Thankfully we have each other.
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Old 08-28-2016, 11:59 AM
 
635 posts, read 396,407 times
Reputation: 1762
I am grateful that I have this forum and the support of so many understanding people here. It's good to have a place where we can vent and let out all that we are feeling without being judged. Sometimes I feel like in my real life I can't say a lot of the things that I say here because I don't want to worry people.

We had my husband's memorial about ten days after he died and I was so out of it at the time I let his sister take the lead on planning it. I had ultimate say on everything but she did a wonderful job and I'm so thankful that she was able to do it because I was in no condition to plan anything.

I read about your son's memorial here and it sounded like it turned out nice (as nice as a memorial can be.)

I don't like to look at my husband's pictures right now because it just brings me too much pain. I took all of his pictures down shortly after he died and haven't looked at them since. I still have pictures of him on my phone that I look at once in awhile but every time I do I lose it so I avoid them. It's very hard going to his parent's house because his pictures are everywhere. They're just a reminder of what I've lost. I hope someday I can look at them with joy and remember what I had.

People keep telling me that things will get better but I don't know about that. When you lose a part of your heart it doesn't grow back it's just gone.
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Old 08-28-2016, 02:04 PM
 
3,967 posts, read 5,255,783 times
Reputation: 4554
My husband died on the 6th of the month, and I did not have the service until the 23rd of the month. Part of that was logistics (family members were gathering for Christmas) but part was because I wanted to compose a power point review of his life, and I needed some time to do that. I spend over 2 weeks going through albums, picking pictures, going through every part of our lives together (it was a lot - we were together for 43 years) listening to his music, to pick songs that seemed right for the music in the presentation. It was, without a doubt, terribly painful. I cried practically non-stop. I spent all day, every day buried in memories. In the long run, I think my obsessive need to re-live, over and over, these moments of our lives helped me to process what had happened. I can't really explain it, but I know if was the right thing for me. I still sit and look at that presentation every now and then. And I do have some pictures of my husband around. I don't spend a lot of time with them, but I do pause sometimes, think of how wonderful it was to be with him, and tell him that I love him.
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Old 08-28-2016, 03:03 PM
 
5,607 posts, read 1,964,362 times
Reputation: 4041
Dear Meo and MLC. Thinking of you as you go through each day. I hope that in time the good days will outweigh the bad ones. I've never lost a spouse or child, and cannot imagine the unbearable pain of either of those losses. May you feel the hugs of all of your friends here on C-D.
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Old 08-28-2016, 05:12 PM
Status: "I'm late because I don't want to be here." (set 7 days ago)
 
994 posts, read 543,428 times
Reputation: 2043
Maybe hold off on the photo album assembly and don.t feel bad over holding off: remember he was greater than any picture or material object.
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