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Old 09-22-2016, 03:10 PM
3,263 posts, read 2,838,518 times
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Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
My husband died in Hospice. He was there 8 days. I wouldn't leave his side as I knew how frightened he was of dying. I only went home once for an hour in those 8 days. I slept on a cot in his room and sometimes I would squeeze myself on the bed with him, even when he became unconscious so he would know he wasn't alone.

He died at 2 a.m. while I was sleeping on the cot. The nurses came and woke me up to tell me he was gone.
I took care of MG and hospice nurses would come to the house. I only wish I could have snuggled to him, but he told me a few months before that it hurt to feel the mattress move, so I didn't. I wish I was holding his hand or SOMEthing. I instead, I fell asleep on the sofa, woke to find him gone and now feel guilty.
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Old 09-22-2016, 05:29 PM
Location: Islip,NY
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I was at home getting ready to go out and get Chinese food when my dad died. It was 12 years ago August 26th. I never went and got my food. DH and I just got in the car and went to my mom's. My dad died in my mom's arms.
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Old 09-22-2016, 05:41 PM
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With my grandpa... Was watching a show called : Emergency 911! ( how ironic in restrospect). my grand dad was a paraplegic so "our time" together was from 7 pm til 8:30... We always watched shows together. I was yapping away and I looked over... I knew something wasn't right. he always chided me for yapping.. It was our "thing". He just laid there.. No words..
My grandma was just getting over open heart surgery .. So she couldn't climb the stairs .. No matter how much I begged. My aunt was out on a date so my grandparents were the only adults in the house... for three hours.. I begged him to wake up.. I promised not to yap so much.
I called my friend from school. her mom was a nurse. She asked to speak to my grandma... After that it was eerily silent for the next half hour. The doctor arrived... Pronounced him dead.. And that little 9 year old gal.. Learned how to Not grieve .. It just was not allowed ...

For my 50th birthday.. I was signing hospice papers for my mom to come home.. The hospital had done its damage.. It was time to bring her home for her final days. my birthday present was having her here.. With family. The morning of her last breath... I would sleep maybe 2 hours in any given moment.. I awoke at 6... And looked over at her... She was breathing so lightly.. It had been day four of her home time.. Family the day before had all had their private moments with her...
I decided to say my peace with her... Two songs were song.. And I bawled terribly... A thousand times I must of said I loved her... Then this stillness of dawn breaking shown thru the room... I took it that she needed her rest.. I had worn her out...
I turned to change from my night clothes to street ware... I looked in the mirror.. And her chest rose no more...
It's four years since.. And it's still fresh in my mind. I'd like to think she waited for me to awake.. It was her last gift of kindness... Her death was a quiet one.. And the grief.. At 50 was finally experienced in all its wretched pain, terrible loneliness.. And finally a deep understanding of a lady whom I called mom.. Was so much more.

I recall where most would wail afterwards... I seriously became absolutely numb.. Ppl were a blur... Nothing ... Absolutely nothing made sense... Grief had entered and no door or window would stop its turmoil.
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Old 09-25-2016, 09:34 PM
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I missed my father's passing by about 30 seconds.

He and my mother moved to a group home and he needed to go to the hospital for a respiratory infection. The owner of the group home had called for a non-emergency ambulance and I drove over to pick up my mother so we could be with him at the hospital. He never made it. He died in the group home of a massive heart attack trying to get into his wheelchair by himself.
I came around the corner into their room to hear my mother screaming at him to breathe!

The mortuary had already come and gone by the time the ambulance finally came.

He was elderly and had been declining, but it was still a shock.
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Old 09-25-2016, 09:47 PM
Location: Midwest
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My mom died at age 89 almost 3 years ago....We brought her home, had round the clock nursing and they called me every time she was awake (even at 3AM) so I could spend quality time with her. A week before she died my brother came and stayed with us. She was not in pain, had brain cancer and talked and understood all the way up until the end. Right before she died she suddenly looked very scared...I leaned over her and spoke in her ear that it was a beautiful sunny day and I and my brother were right here with her and my dad (who died 20 years before) was waiting on the other side. I told her to go to him, he has been waiting a long time to dance with you again (they always went out dancing on Saturday nights) She smiled, looked up into the corner ceiling of the room and died an hour later with a smile on her face while my brother and I both held her hands. It was very spiritual.

My husband and I have no children and I often envy that I will never have the chance to pass on the way that she did.....
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Old 09-27-2016, 10:49 PM
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As long as I've lived so far, I'm surprised I haven't really experienced a lot of death up close and personal, relatively speaking. I've read and heard of people I knew that died, but that was after the fact (former co-workers, classmates, etc.).

But there were a few times I was familiar with someone dying.

One was when I was in between my junior and senior years of high school and attending a remedial math class during the summer. One day after class, I knew something was wrong when I went home. I found out that earlier in the day (when I was in class), my dad had suffered a massive stroke while on the job. He was taken to the hospital and we saw him there, but he was too far gone and the plug was pulled.

Another incident I remember being in Iraq and early one morning, maybe it was around 6-7 AM or so, I was roused from bed by a tremendous explosion that rattled the building I was in. A few hours later myself and the rest of our platoon went out to man the checkpoint we were in charge of. First sergeant came by and told us that a guy from our company (that was in another platoon) was killed by a car bomb. That was the explosion I heard. That shook me a little as I knew the guy and he was a decent individual.
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Old 09-28-2016, 01:00 AM
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,737,637 times
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I haven't been on this forum for a long time, but this question piqued my interest. My husband died almost 7 years ago, but it feels like only a year or so. He died at our home in Colorado of either a heart attack or a ruptured aneurysm. We (the kids, relatives, friends) think it was an aneurysm, as there was a family history, but no history of any heart disease or heart attacks. There was no autopsy, so we'll never know for certain. I had come to Tucson with my son to open up our "snowbird" condo we'd bought the year before. His 60th birthday was coming up November 3rd, and I'd come down on October 24th. On the 25th, I ordered his birthday cake from the grocery store to be picked up the 2nd; bought his gifts, and decorated the condo for Halloween. We talked for hours on Saturday and Sunday. He was happy and fine and excited to come down and join us. He was going to telecommute from here until after the New Year. Monday, October 26th, I woke up and signed on to the computer. I saw him on my AOL buddy list, which meant he'd call as soon as he saw me sign on. 1/2 hour, then an hour, and nothing. I called his office (assumed he was there). Voice mail. I figured he had a client (he was an attorney in private practice). I waited an hour and tried again. Voice mail. Now I'm concerned because he ALWAYS calls me. Called his cell. Voice mail. Called the house (covering bases). Voice mail. Starting to panic a little. Wait another hour. Make the phone rounds. All VM. I'm rationalizing -- he went down to the Springs (but he'd have called) -- client was a long conference (not four hours!) -- no idea -- more panic. This went on until about 3:00 p.m. I finally called someone in the office downstairs. She said his car had been there but wasn't now. Hmmm. Not like him to not call. I called the Sheriff for a welfare check. They said they'd get on it right away. 6:00 p.m. nothing from the Sheriff, so I'm super panicked and crying. I call two neighbors to check. 8:00 p.m. They don't call back. I call the Sheriff again, and they say they haven't been able to get out there due to the snow storm. So I call the neighbors back. One's phone is off the hook, and the other answers. She's very hesitant and tells me to wait for the Sheriff to call. I suddenly know the answer. I say, "He's dead, isn't he?". Silence for what seemed like hours, then she said yes. She told me she found him in the driveway, lying on his back, a snow scraper still in his hand. Right after that, the Sheriff showed up (they lied to me). The truck was still running, and the garage door open. We lived in the rural country, but still, there would have been neighbors driving by, yet no one looked or saw him. I told the coroner when he called (actually called my son Andrew's phone as Andrew was the first listing and had the same last name) that he died most likely at 8:15 a.m. I told him he was a creature of habit, and I could describe his morning minute by minute. He agreed with me as his body was in full rigor and frozen in the 9 snowy weather in the mountains. The Sheriff had called the Tucson police to come to my home, but I don't live in Tucson. They neighbor said, "His wife's at their home in Tucson." I actually live in a different jurisdiction, so they never found me. Somehow I made it home, but from the day he died, and throughout the next year is a complete blur.
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