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Old 09-19-2016, 11:00 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,696,560 times
Reputation: 38829

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post

I don't dislike my BIL. However the photos are upsetting and they don't commerate specific anniversaries. Just a random photo will crop up of his brother with "Missing my bro" ...... So, of course, all his friends (new and old...sometimes the comment will reflect a person thinking this just happened so then the story of his long illness will become a topic of several comments) will have to jump in with comments.
All the better that he remembers his brother randomly... just like you cited in your example with soccer & Chik-Fil-A.
And it is great that his friends support him in his remembering!

Since you cannot cope with two or three reminders a year of your husband... unfriend him, or at the very least unfollow his posts.
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:02 AM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,275,204 times
Reputation: 8481
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
I agree, that I will not discuss this with him personally. I believe it is attention-seeking behavior. And I do know my BIL is perfectly within his rights to present anything he wants on social media.

Simple solution. Unfriend him on Facebook.
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,072 posts, read 3,770,509 times
Reputation: 10039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
All the better that he remembers his brother randomly... just like you cited in your example with soccer & Chik-Fil-A.
And it is great that his friends support him in his remembering!

Since you cannot cope with two or three reminders a year of your husband... unfriend him, or at the very least unfollow his posts.
Rinse and repeat......I find it morbid and attention seeking. But apparently I am alone in this view, I am a private person and tend to share happy events on social media and never sadness. So, even if I didn't have to suffer seeing my beloved's photo paraded around, I'd find it tiresome as one of his friends after a while. Like after 17 years.....

Good idea, I will stop following his posts.....but I do enjoy so many of his other posts not related to this topic. And we have 35 years personal history together....
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,438 posts, read 17,619,243 times
Reputation: 39916
I lost my husband of 18 years about 10 years ago, I am also remarried.

My BIL usually posts pics on the anniversary.

I would never judge how someone else grieves. It's not like it is a fond remembrance when I do it, but when I stop then everyone must stop or it's morbid.
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Washington County, ME
1,549 posts, read 2,239,339 times
Reputation: 1857
To me "morbid" would be a photo of someone in a casket, shown over and over again.

No, i'm not a widow - but i'm an orphan - and i miss my parents - especially my mom - every day.

My sisters and i share photos of her online often, but one of my sisters less than the rest. We are all different. She also cannot visit the graves. You have to do what is best for you. As people have said, we all grieve in different ways, and show our love in different ways. I often have a pic of my mom and i as my main FB pic, and i hope i'm not upsetting anyone in my family... or friends. No one else is like Mom...

I hope you find peace with this. And i'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:51 AM
 
3,263 posts, read 2,838,518 times
Reputation: 4655
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
I think for his sake, you should just unfriend him. For you to bash a man for 2-3 TIMES A YEAR sharing the death of a BROTHER, you are definitely not friends.
Yeah, I was going to say to unfollow him. You would still have the friend status, but not see his posts.
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Old 09-19-2016, 12:18 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
3,474 posts, read 4,548,614 times
Reputation: 3907
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
I agree, that I will not discuss this with him personally. I believe it is attention-seeking behavior. And I do know my BIL is perfectly within his rights to present anything he wants on social media.
And you have every right to hide his posts if they bother you. Problem solved.
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Old 09-19-2016, 01:08 PM
 
Location: The Heart of Dixie
1,359 posts, read 958,216 times
Reputation: 3405
My mother passed away ten years ago (at 56 years old - I was only 27) and I will usually post something about her a couple of times a year (on her birthday and the anniversary of her death). The other people on my FB who knew her usually enjoy looking at a picture they haven't seen, tell me some sort of story about her or express how much they loved her - all of which makes me happy. Even if my father was the one posting about her, I wouldn't be upset about it. I would be happy that someone was trying to keep the memory of her alive.

I don't see 2-3x per year as that much. Generally people will remember loved ones on dates like the ones I mentioned above, or around the holidays. I agree with the others who say that you should just block his posts if it upsets you that much.
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Old 09-19-2016, 01:53 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,531 posts, read 42,694,765 times
Reputation: 57174
You just feel like your husband was your "property" (not the best choice of word, I know), and I think you resent his brother because something like this would be your place to do, not his.

Your feelings are your feelings, but I think his brother is within his right to do this. Are you the only one this bothers, or are your kids bothered by it too? If it bothers everyone, then I would tell him and expect him to stop it.
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Old 09-19-2016, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
120 posts, read 72,551 times
Reputation: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by metamorphosis View Post
Yeah, I was going to say to unfollow him. You would still have the friend status, but not see his posts.
This.
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