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Old 09-27-2016, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
20,955 posts, read 15,267,317 times
Reputation: 23722

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Fortunately, I've not been near much death in my life. 3/4 grandparents are still alive, though most great aunts and uncles are now dead, I was never close to them. I had a good friend commit suicide back in 2013, and while it hurt, it wasn't necessarily shocking as he had made several attempts.

A drinking buddy of mine from back in Indiana died last week. I don't know what happened, but he was maybe 50, in pretty good health, had just gone fishing Wednesday and posted pics on Facebook, and heard he was gone by Sunday. He was active and full of it, and it's really bothersome that he's gone so suddenly.

What deaths really bothered you? Were the most bothersome ones where something was drawn out or where someone died suddenly?
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Old 10-03-2016, 12:03 PM
 
2,180 posts, read 1,203,128 times
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My father
been a couple years


Still utterly heartbroken...will probably never get over it...was a surprise
a phone call, trip to the hospital...2 hours later he was dead...died in my arms too


ugh
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Old 10-03-2016, 12:39 PM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post

What deaths really bothered you? Were the most bothersome ones where something was drawn out or where someone died suddenly?
Someone who is wondering about whether a death is "bothersome" has not a clue about grief.
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Old 10-03-2016, 01:21 PM
 
11,686 posts, read 13,074,643 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
Someone who is wondering about whether a death is "bothersome" has not a clue about grief.
Yes, I grimaced a bit at that word. Perhaps "bothering" might have been a better choice.

However, the OP has described his own experiences and they are extremely few and rather distant; and this probably explains what seems like an odd choice of words.

On the other hand, once the intense grief of a death has diminished and life returns to a semblance of former normality, the bites and stings of missing that can come at unexpected times are like the recurrent flashes of pain from a physical condition...they "bother" the heart and mind the way the latter bother the body.
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Old 10-03-2016, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,489 posts, read 11,474,558 times
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Baby P being battered to death.... The wee boy Bulger being tortured and put on train lines.. any child being hurt in any way bother me.. not natural deaths, cruel and senseless by morons.... that really bothers me.
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Old 10-03-2016, 01:38 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,966,446 times
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Several years ago, a coworker's brother was traveling for work and choked to death in his hotel room. He wasn't sick, wasn't old, wasn't in danger, just inhaled a piece of candy and died alone in his room. He missed a meeting and was found when people went looking for him. That one hit me badly despite my not knowing him. I wasn't even close to that coworker. The suddenness and senselessness of it were rough on me. I would fixate on imagined feelings of panic and solitude, which made me feel very morose.
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Old 10-03-2016, 05:01 PM
 
Location: SoCal
5,707 posts, read 4,278,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Several years ago, a coworker's brother was traveling for work and choked to death in his hotel room.
Sounds like Tennessee Williams.
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Old 10-03-2016, 05:38 PM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
369 posts, read 176,711 times
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My best friend's husband, who I had known for 35+ years, was killed in a head-on collision. He was delivering parts very early in the morning on a highway in Kansas, just south of Garfield. Another truck came over the center line doing about 70, and didn't even try to stop. They could tell my friend's husband had tried to avoid the other truck. We came to find out that the other driver had fallen asleep, and had driven more hours than was legal. He was also not even supposed to be driving a truck, and had not been trained to do so. A few months later, he was in another accident, and killed his 10 year old daughter, as well as causing severe injuries to his wife and another daughter.
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Old 10-03-2016, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,203 posts, read 49,740,662 times
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All the adults and wee ones I try to save after a drunk driver or speeder or cell phone aholes took 'em out.
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Old 10-03-2016, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,119 posts, read 3,633,578 times
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My grandmother. The dearest sweetest woman in my life. She's been gone since '91 and I still miss her. I hope I can be half the grandmother to my grandchildren what she was to me.

My father died of a heart attack when I was 9. I'll never stop mourning the fact that I and my siblings were left without a father. My brothers were older and they have more memories of him. I'm told what a great kind man he was and it makes me sad that I never knew him for long.
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