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Old 10-28-2016, 11:50 AM
 
Location: PA
839 posts, read 958,108 times
Reputation: 1753

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Wow, those are some excellent links, thank you so much! I am going through some of the blogs right now for the first one, and even though it is unfortunate for anyone to go through this, there is comfort knowing I am not alone. The stories, and people sharing, are comforting!
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Old 11-03-2016, 05:50 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18811
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
Wow, those are some excellent links, thank you so much! I am going through some of the blogs right now for the first one, and even though it is unfortunate for anyone to go through this, there is comfort knowing I am not alone. The stories, and people sharing, are comforting!
I am so sorry to hear about your experience. What horrible people. I have bumped into many jerks like that for many reasons over the years. Yes, find another group. That group is rubbish.

I was going to suggest talking here. This is a great forum. Has been helping me for years and I, in turn, have tried to help others. That is what this place is all about.

My condolences and best wishes for finding the right group for you.
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Old 11-03-2016, 08:04 PM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
Reputation: 4549
I agree that you got into a bad group, but I would suggest that what is bad is the facilitator. The ground rules of respect and sensitivity have to be set right at the beginning, and the facilitator must steer people toward supportive reactions and should not allow anyone to be picked on or disparaged. Your experience is totally on the shoulders of that person. I agree that you should find another group, but I think it might be a good idea to contact the sponsor (probably a church) of the support group and tell them about your experience. If they have weak facilitator who is allowing people to be hurt, they should know about it. No grieving person should be dismissed this way or told to go handle it themselves.
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Old 11-04-2016, 11:04 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,628,561 times
Reputation: 33226
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626;45971811[B
]Look at it this way, hubby and the dogs are your family, so you are celebrating with family.
[/b]
Or, invite a few single friends, foreign students or senior citizens to join your celebration.

BTW, I would never drive 2 1/2 hours for Thanksgiving at a restaurant, no matter who was there.
You don't seem to be getting what the OP said, this is first Holiday season with both parents gone.

It hits you really hard.

I lost my mom in July 2012 and my dad a year and two weeks later in August 2013. My first Mother's Day was tough and I thought well next year will be easier. But it wasn't, because Mother's Day 2013 I still had dad, Mother's Day 2014 was worse. I didn't even understand at first, than a friend said "because even though your mother wasn't there in 2013 for MD, your dad was".

Sorry, I found your remark to be insensitive especially the "look at it this way".
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Old 11-06-2016, 08:45 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,098 posts, read 3,918,635 times
Reputation: 18766
My mother and I both became widows within 6 months of each other. We joined a grief support group at Hospice shortly after my husband died. I couldn't handle all the sad stories and would leave there crying and in worst shape than when I went. Sometimes these grief support groups become a social thing. My mother actually started dating someone she met at one.


OP I think you are better off sharing your feelings here where you won't be judged.


I do understand how hard the holidays are especially the first few years. I imagine Mother's Day will always be difficult.
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