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Old 11-06-2016, 09:05 AM
 
191 posts, read 122,384 times
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I just experienced this with my Mom. She had a major stroke around 5:30 am last monday. I got to the hospital before she even arrived yet and was with her pretty much all day. At about 5:45 that evening I left to go home, my sister and Dad were coming back around 6:45. In that hour she passed. I'm trying not to feel guilty. I loved her so much and we had a very close bond.

I feel good about the fact that we spent a lot of time together in recent years, and nothing was left unsaid.

It has been a tough week for all of us. Grief seems to ebb and flow; I've felt close to tears, and just kind of ill all week especially when I'm alone. We've all helped make arrangements and be there with Dad. This experience has brought us closer together, as a Family. Tomorrow is the Visitation, there will be no funeral, we'll decide what to do with her ashes later, as no plans had been made in that regard. I'm kind of dreading it, but we have put together a lovely tribute to mom.
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Old 11-06-2016, 12:56 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
8,869 posts, read 3,787,264 times
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Dixie - I am so sorry for your loss. This is a good place to share your feelings and we will be here for you.
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Old 11-06-2016, 11:38 PM
 
3,921 posts, read 5,208,477 times
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My husband was dying at home, of brain cancer. I had been up with him for several nights, but we knew the end was near. That last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 am, talking and singing to him. But I was so sleep deprived, I started having slurred speech, etc. My sister said she would stay with him for a few hours while I slept, so I went to lie down in the guest room. I did sleep, but woke up at 8:00am. When I walked toward our bedroom, I knew something was wrong because I heard no breathing. When I came in the door, my sister said "He's gone." But she also said that she had dropped off to sleep at around 7:00, and while she was asleep, he died. At first I felt badly that no one was talking to him or holding his hand when he died. But perhaps he needed to not have that in order to pass peacefully.
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Old 11-08-2016, 12:58 AM
 
Location: PRC
2,687 posts, read 2,947,768 times
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I have a idea - not sure where it came from - that it is easier to separate from the physical body when there is no-one there 'holding on' to you.

What I mean is, that most people sitting with the loved one do not want them to die and there is always a certain amount of keeping them from moving on to where they should be. I think this is the reason why they slip away when we are not physically there at their bedside - because we are intent on something else at the moment when we go off to make a phone call or similar.

Of course, I dont know whether this theory is correct of not, but it makes sense to me. I too have known a couple of people who did this.
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Old 11-11-2016, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,444 posts, read 21,484,553 times
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My mother did that. My nephew and I, on night trade off, slept at hospice every night. The one night we both went to her house to sleep in a bed, she died. 4 AM. Good thing my nephew was there, because I didn't hear the phone.
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Old 12-06-2016, 06:47 PM
 
718 posts, read 559,741 times
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The love of my life died the day after Thanksgiving. I asked her not to make me tell them to turn the machines off, she died while I was in the bathroom.

I think of it as her taking care of me one last time.
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Old 12-06-2016, 07:43 PM
 
5,108 posts, read 1,859,308 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kay Effzee View Post
The love of my life died the day after Thanksgiving. I asked her not to make me tell them to turn the machines off, she died while I was in the bathroom.

I think of it as her taking care of me one last time.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace in the days ahead. *Hugs*
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Old 12-06-2016, 07:44 PM
 
5,108 posts, read 1,859,308 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
My mother did that. My nephew and I, on night trade off, slept at hospice every night. The one night we both went to her house to sleep in a bed, she died. 4 AM. Good thing my nephew was there, because I didn't hear the phone.
Both my mama and my daddy passed away once everyone had left. I always felt guilty about not being there. But maybe that is how they wanted it? I don't know.
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Old 12-07-2016, 03:00 AM
 
26,164 posts, read 14,335,342 times
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Im sorry to all on this thread who are missing someone
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Old 12-07-2016, 02:21 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,170 posts, read 17,977,964 times
Reputation: 18486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kay Effzee View Post
The love of my life died the day after Thanksgiving. I asked her not to make me tell them to turn the machines off, she died while I was in the bathroom.

I think of it as her taking care of me one last time.
My condolences. Yes, I believe she did.
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