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Old 11-12-2016, 12:08 AM
808 posts, read 384,292 times
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Thanks everyone.
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Old 11-12-2016, 02:31 PM
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,860 posts, read 21,928,648 times
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Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
What an insightful comment.

While I agree it's best to try and not stray from the routine, sometimes people aren't up to it.

And your children were certainly old enough to know that their dad lost his dad, but seemed to make it all about themselves. No, "I feel so bad for dad", granted they were pre-teen and a teenager and those are the selfish years.

But as adults they're still saying that?

You should be surprised, because as adults there should be something like "I didn't realize years ago how selfish of me to not think while we lost our grandfather, dad lost his father".
I didn't feel that way. Well, I did, but my son talked me out of it. He was a teenager at the time. "Get up mom. We are going to go shopping. We are going to buy holiday food and a tree and decorate it." He told me to bake a turkey, or do something that moms did, so, I did the things that moms do.

My husband was completely devastated after the loss of his dad. The holidays were a bit quiet that year, but we still did the usual things. There's a certain comfort in keeping family tradition.

In the long run, it was better than not doing anything.

The year my father had two heart attacks and lost his job, I did Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was 17. There wouldn't have been anything otherwise.
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Old 11-13-2016, 07:51 PM
Location: Wonderland
41,283 posts, read 32,977,860 times
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My father just passed away the end of October and I will be hosting the family Thanksgiving dinner at my house. Will there be some tears? Yes. Will all of us miss my father terribly? Yes. But as others have said, life goes on. And there are children involved - they love the holidays and it's about them, and about family, and we are still a family.

I don't think my dad would appreciate or condone us sitting around gloomy or downplaying the holidays. He would think that was sort of ridiculous in fact.

I am not feeling my usual festive self but I'm sure I'll get through it. I was a daddy's girl all the way and he LOVED Thanksgiving - it was his favorite holiday. So I'm going to do it up right - it's what he would want me to do.
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Old 11-14-2016, 05:51 PM
Location: SWFL
21,595 posts, read 18,242,882 times
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My condolences, Kathryn.
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Old 11-14-2016, 07:12 PM
57 posts, read 72,848 times
Reputation: 197
All my condolences for your loss.

My family stopped doing a big turkey dinner at home on Thanksgiving after both my grandparents passed. We go out to have the turkey dinner special at Black Angus instead. No dishes to wash for hours and no having to rearrange chairs or any of that.

Mom still does the big Christmas dinner with the honey baked ham, scalloped potatoes, veggies, rolls and deviled eggs. I always associate the smell of honey baked ham with Christmas day.
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