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Old 11-18-2016, 06:44 PM
 
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Thinking of all of you here, my friends, who have lost loved ones and will be missing them this Thanksgiving. It's so hard these holidays. My precious father-in-law passed away this past January, and Thanksgiving Day marked the beginning of the end for him. May all of you find peace in your own way.
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Old 11-19-2016, 02:28 PM
 
Location: SWFL
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And to you too, trobesmom.
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Old 11-19-2016, 05:36 PM
 
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Yes, it is all bittersweet. Sweet because I will forever be grateful for that good man who brought me love, joy and security, who was always there, who would do anything for his family. Sweet because with him, I was able to experience a true, loving partnership. Sweet because I know that I will always love him and he will love me, as love is eternal, and will continue into eternity. But sad because I must continue to live in this life without him. Sad because we didn't have a retirement together, as we had planned, with all its joys and adventures. So yes, bittersweet, as it is for all of us. But in this holiday season, let us try to focus on all the things that brought blessings into our lives, the sweet memories, the love that continues.

I appreciate all the good wishes and care of all of you. May our whole community have Holidays filled with more peace than with sadness.
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Old 11-19-2016, 05:56 PM
 
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Thank you, Tamiznluv. Yes Grasshopper, may our community be filled with peace. It's rough when you have family for years to spend holidays with and then lose them through death over time. We had parents, grandparents and other relatives with whom we enjoyed holidays. Since we could never had children or grandchildren, it is just the two of us. We do have a sibling each, but they have their families and usually other plans, and they live out of town. With that being said, we both agree that the best way to get through the holidays is to treat them like normal days. At least that helps for us. Hugs to you all.
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Old 11-19-2016, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,164 posts, read 57,274,608 times
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My husband died in late October, five years ago. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas that year were rough, but family and friends helped make the holidays seem not quite so bleak. It's never easy celebrating without him, but I try to keep busy, and celebrate best I can.

Fast forward five years, and I rarely hear from my in-laws anymore, never get invited to holiday gatherings, not even Christmas cards. I have my siblings and their families, and my mom and my friends, so I'm not short on holiday cheer. But the abandonment by my husband's family stings, especially during the holidays.
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Old 11-20-2016, 05:54 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,577 posts, read 4,780,727 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
My husband died in late October, five years ago. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas that year were rough, but family and friends helped make the holidays seem not quite so bleak. It's never easy celebrating without him, but I try to keep busy, and celebrate best I can.

Fast forward five years, and I rarely hear from my in-laws anymore, never get invited to holiday gatherings, not even Christmas cards. I have my siblings and their families, and my mom and my friends, so I'm not short on holiday cheer. But the abandonment by my husband's family stings, especially during the holidays.
I'm sure that is their way of getting through it, odd as that may be. I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you.
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Old 11-20-2016, 09:34 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,429 posts, read 18,139,040 times
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Yes,GG, beautiful wishes for our community. That's what we ARE. A community we all never wished to be part of but unfortunately here we are. Almost 5 years in a month and a half, yet I still wander back in when I need a kind word and feel like I am being hugged. I don't get to give my sympathy to newcomers much anymore because I am slowly having a life outside of our community and participate in other forums. LOL, like I know I should stay out of! It does my heart good to "hear" the difference in people's posts as time marches on. I even am happy for people who don't post anymore, I like to think they are doing well. I especially am thankful to all the "old timers" who listened and helped me through the darkest years, not days, of my life. Without their support IDK what would have happened to me. I mean that seriously.

May everyone's pain lessen and be replaced by good memories and peaceful thoughts of your departed loved one(s).
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Old 11-22-2016, 03:18 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,695 posts, read 21,741,083 times
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My mother died on October 31st 2013. Really? All of my relatives die on or near a holiday. My dad is Labor Day, mom Halloween, my brother Christmas, grandmother Valentines Day, my husband Memorial Day.

So far, no one has died on Thanksgiving or Independence Day, but I just don't feel any enthusiasm for this holiday. The year my husband died, I couldn't make it to a relative's house three hours away. I didn't really want to go, so I was OK with that.

No one--no one--else invited us to dinner or asked if we had anywhere to go. My son asked me what we were going to do. I told him we were going to make reservations. Miraculously, the day before, I got a table at a decent restaurant. It was great! The expensive turkey dinner wasn't very good, but son's steak was excellent. The appetizers and desserts were very good. My glass of wine and cognac blasted through anything that might have been a budget.

The fire alarm went off. It wasn't loud, but strobes started flashing. I had to go outside because they caused me to feel a bit queasy. A woman was crying because it reminded her of 9/11. She hadn't lost anyone and hadn't been in New York that day. Did I mention that dessert was really good?
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Old 11-22-2016, 03:39 AM
 
459 posts, read 520,130 times
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Default Read Cold Mountain

Quote ~ Cute post and I think it's touching - but I honestly don't get your wife's idea that southerners don't make a big deal out of Thanksgiving. Methinks you may have been bamboozled on that one. Thanksgiving is huge throughout the south. Unquote~

TG was thought of a Yankee holiday for a long time. Southerners during that time thought it was ridiculous to be grateful on just one day of the year.
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Old 11-22-2016, 07:05 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,429 posts, read 18,139,040 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
My mother died on October 31st 2013. Really? All of my relatives die on or near a holiday. My dad is Labor Day, mom Halloween, my brother Christmas, grandmother Valentines Day, my husband Memorial Day.

So far, no one has died on Thanksgiving or Independence Day, but I just don't feel any enthusiasm for this holiday. The year my husband died, I couldn't make it to a relative's house three hours away. I didn't really want to go, so I was OK with that.

No one--no one--else invited us to dinner or asked if we had anywhere to go. My son asked me what we were going to do. I told him we were going to make reservations. Miraculously, the day before, I got a table at a decent restaurant. It was great! The expensive turkey dinner wasn't very good, but son's steak was excellent. The appetizers and desserts were very good. My glass of wine and cognac blasted through anything that might have been a budget.

The fire alarm went off. It wasn't loud, but strobes started flashing. I had to go outside because they caused me to feel a bit queasy. A woman was crying because it reminded her of 9/11. She hadn't lost anyone and hadn't been in New York that day. Did I mention that dessert was really good?
LOL, Gerania, thank goodness for the dessert. My goodness, your loved ones really had timing! I'm so sorry most holidays have been tarnished for you. My dad died on Columbus Day so no biggie there. I WAS asked to Thanksgiving dinner the first few years but I only went to the 2nd year actually to be polite. I preferred to stay by myself. I was so miserable that I wanted to just suffer by myself. This is the first year I haven't been miserable and having "come out of it" finally, I wish the same feelings for everyone. It really feels good to be back amongst the living.
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