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Old 11-30-2016, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
9,409 posts, read 5,202,941 times
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Not to sound rude but this has got to be the easiest question I will be asked this month. I am glad you did the right thing, of course you should have shared your thoughts and of course this is the correct board to ask your question.
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Old 11-30-2016, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 10,048,458 times
Reputation: 20460
Absolutely send her a message telling how much she means to you! She may know and she may not know. It's always a great feeling when you know someone cares. Think about this. If she died today and you never got to tell her what she meant to you, you'd have that in the back of your mind the rest of your life. That doesn't go fishing for details in her illness, but be a friend! One can never have too many friends.
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Old 11-30-2016, 01:47 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,633,393 times
Reputation: 33226
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
Thanks.

I sent her a message today telling her that I appreciated her friendship. She wrote back to thank me.

Good.

We should always tell people that mean something to us or have done something for us, how much it meant.


Not the same thing, but I told a former boss from 20 years ago about 5 years ago how she was the best boss I ever had.

I told the mother of an old college friend who would bring me home on weekends how much I appreciated them treating me like family years earlier.

Always tell people how you feel about them while you still can.
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Old 11-30-2016, 03:18 PM
 
11,485 posts, read 5,507,878 times
Reputation: 9861
Thank you, everyone, for your kind posts and rep comments!

When she responded to my message, she said she is feeling more hopeful. There are some meds she could take but her doctor warned her of serious side effects and said it was up to her whether she took them or not. She is choosing not to take them.

I mentioned that she is a spiritual person with amazingly strong faith (I wish I were like that!). Thus she is feeling optimistic about things now that she has had a chance to absorb it all.

I do have her mailing address as well as her phone number so I know how to reach her husband should anything happen.

I'm glad that I did write that message to her!
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Old 11-30-2016, 04:34 PM
 
3,263 posts, read 2,838,518 times
Reputation: 4655
It's important to let the friend know that she is loved. i just want to add that it is just as important to continue to stay in touch without suddenly "going overboard". Many folks in dire health just want some sense of normalcy, so it might be good that the contact remains constant.
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Old 12-01-2016, 06:25 AM
 
5,458 posts, read 6,124,370 times
Reputation: 13946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aery11 View Post
I am glad you told her she means a lot to you. That is never a morbid thing to do - it is always the right thing if it is true.

.

My only reservation. Just make sure you aren't being hooked into some very elaborate, long term scam. IF the issue of "money" to pay for this treatment for this illness with this person who you really don't know at all ever comes up, you know you have been had and it is time to run. Otherwise, it never hurts to reach out and share a warm thought.
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Old 12-01-2016, 07:27 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,144,759 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
My only reservation. Just make sure you aren't being hooked into some very elaborate, long term scam. IF the issue of "money" to pay for this treatment for this illness with this person who you really don't know at all ever comes up, you know you have been had and it is time to run. Otherwise, it never hurts to reach out and share a warm thought.
Quite correct. It's terrible to have to think like that nowadays but it happens, sad to say. Good advice, Ted.
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Old 12-01-2016, 08:38 AM
 
2,953 posts, read 1,388,601 times
Reputation: 5292
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
So...my question --- Should I write her a message and tell her just how much her friendship has meant to me? I'm torn. On one hand, we hear many times in our lives that we should tell others just how much they mean to us while they are still alive. If we don't we regret it when they pass.
Actually teared up when I read this. I think this would be such a sweet and kind gesture and that she would think nothing negative of it.
Do it now, don't hesitate. Got so caught up in your gesture, didn't read the rest. Glad you did it.

Frankly now I feel like I should do the same with my friends even though they aren't sick.
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Old 12-01-2016, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,841 posts, read 51,301,408 times
Reputation: 27653
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
My only reservation. Just make sure you aren't being hooked into some very elaborate, long term scam. IF the issue of "money" to pay for this treatment for this illness with this person who you really don't know at all ever comes up, you know you have been had and it is time to run. Otherwise, it never hurts to reach out and share a warm thought.
Excellent advice. Be aware that there are scammers, be aware that there are also people who fabricate sob stories for entertainment and sympathy (I once saw an entire usenet group taken in by one of those), be aware that most people will tell their mates of issues before anonymous strangers. Compassion is good, empathy is good, being aware and self-protective is also good. If you find yourself being placed in a position of "savior" or sole confidante rather than friend, shuck that mantle quickly. Friends will understand, scammers and emotion vultures will hate you for not fitting into their schemes and leave.
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Old 12-01-2016, 10:57 AM
 
11,485 posts, read 5,507,878 times
Reputation: 9861
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
My only reservation. Just make sure you aren't being hooked into some very elaborate, long term scam. IF the issue of "money" to pay for this treatment for this illness with this person who you really don't know at all ever comes up, you know you have been had and it is time to run. Otherwise, it never hurts to reach out and share a warm thought.
No..There is no scamming going on here at all.

Still, sad to say, one must be alert in such a situation.
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