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Old 01-28-2017, 01:38 PM
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I agree with germaine (post #6). If you have the room to store the stuff, just wait.

You're in a different kind of situation where you still grieve the loss of your wife. And seems like you lost her young and although she had an illness, losing her young was not expected in your life vision then. And now your daughter. And the one without warning which can cause a different process. And losing a child can just be different than other losses anyway.

On so many levels,this is very sad. Just keep the things for now.

There used to be a therapist on the radio who often said about grieving a loss that it took going through each season. Then one who said go through each season twice. In talking with and observing many people who have lost loved ones, it suddenly dawned on me the key timing was 5 years. Five years before people began to sort of breathe again. Began to make inroads into new plans, a little different life. Not much...just starting at 5 years. Becoming one after years of being part of two or more in a family. Now, this is people who had not remarried yet. Eventually for some part of this new life was remarrying.
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Old 01-28-2017, 02:12 PM
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Invite your daughter's best friends to pick out a few things in her memory. Make some nice stacks of whatever you choose. (After my mother died, I offered her friends their pick of purses, scarves, gloves, etc.) You may like to invite them for a specific time, and you can chat with them, and they can chat with each other - you may enjoy having that chance to talk about her.

Then, goodness knows there are places that would very much appreciate the clothing, such a programs for women in distress.
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Old 01-28-2017, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Hajhoit View Post
In the parenting forum I made a topic regarding my deceased 19 year old daughter, you can find it here:

Do you keep things from when your kids were in school?

It was regarding an aspect I was dealing with but now I have one more appropriate for this forum.

Everything she has is in her room in my home. She has quite a bit of stuff, I haven't messed with any of it yet. Everything from clothes, to books to her computer etc. is still there. She did have a boyfriend she was very close to and even I liked him quite a bit and at the funeral was very distressed. I was thinking perhaps he could make use of some of the things like her computer and just go through and see if there was anything of hers he may want, I already have gotten what I want/needed.

Apart from that, I am just dealing with this, first my wife, then my daughter at just 19. It isn't fair.

Thanks for any thoughts and comments!
My condolences. I also have a daughter and my biggest fear in life is if something happened to her.

That being said... I don't think you are ready to get rid of all her things. Clothes, jewelry, etc... those are superficial things. I think it would be ok to donate those, or ask if her friends want them.

But her computer, books, etc... Those are different. Those are things that can give you an insight into what kind of person your daughter was. While it may be painful now, I think you should hold on to things like that. Someday, when the rawness of this has passed, you may find that you want a reminder of her. You may find it enjoyable to read a book that was one of her favorites someday.

I'm sorry.
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