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Old 02-07-2017, 05:56 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,507 posts, read 11,481,746 times
Reputation: 21003

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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Yes, it is.

This isn't a family reunion picnic. It's tacky. If people are coming in from out of the area than they're there for more than one day, take pictures at a restaurant, at their hotel, etc.

Not at the funeral.



Yes, it is. It's done because the idea is you shouldn't looking at yourself and thinking about yourself at this time. Something we seem to be losing in this social "all about me" media society.



Exactly! Why is this man even coming?

OP, very sorry for your loss. But why does your family allow this guy near children? He shouldn't even be coming, talk about the black sheep of the family.
IM totally lost to some answers on here clearly sidestepping the fact that this man is a perv.. and that should be the issue not for taking photos at a funeral.. Im still not sure about this post at all though..
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Old 02-09-2017, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
3,656 posts, read 1,195,393 times
Reputation: 6568
If there is a get-together after the actual funeral it is OK.

My buddy's mom passed away last March at 94 years of age, and her funeral turned into a huge family reunion get-together at her house, as well as a way for family members who had never even met each other to meet for the first time. His ex-wife even came up from Georgia to attend, along with two of their kids (they had 4). I know he has a few children (born out of wedlock with different women) who had never met, including one daughter HE had never even met until December 2015 (he's black, her mom is white, and she was conceived in 1967 when having mixed race children was taboo to many people, he was told never to try to contact either one of them, so they'd been trying to track each other down for years). So she got to meet a whole lot of family she never knew she had until recently.
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Old 02-09-2017, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
3,656 posts, read 1,195,393 times
Reputation: 6568
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
This. Let the funeral director deal with this. That's why they get paid the big bucks.

I've never heard of people taking photos at funerals. That is the most ill mannered thing I've ever heard of.

If you can't make it to the funeral, I'm certainly not immortalizing it in photos for you.
I think your POV is ill-mannered because you aren't considering the all of the possible circumstances why people do that.

When my mother's only sibling, her sister, passed away, she took pictures for my grandmother, who was past 100 by then and living in a nursing home so she could not be present for the services or burial. My grandmother only ever had those two children, and they were her closest family ever since my grandfather died suddenly in 1942 when my aunt was 12 and my mom only 4 years old.
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Old 02-09-2017, 02:11 PM
 
984 posts, read 396,903 times
Reputation: 2479
The disturbing history of the cousin is definitely a monkey wrench here, in this particular situation I think you would be within reason to ask him, or try to get the funeral director to prevent him from taking photos.

In a normal situation though, I would say photos are not unusual. We've taken family photos at all three of my grandparents' funerals (the fourth is still alive), at the dinner/reception following the service. Often there were relatives from far away that hadn't visited (or vice versa) in a long time. I had people asking me to send them copies of the photos and they were very appreciative.
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Old 02-09-2017, 03:00 PM
 
4,316 posts, read 2,149,963 times
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What I don't approve of is someone snapping a picture of the deceased in a casket at the viewing/wake.


At my mother's wake, her sister-in-law quickly whipped out a camera while viewing and snapped a quick close up picture of my mother.


I informed her I thought that was in poor taste.
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Old 02-10-2017, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Georgia
4,514 posts, read 3,774,014 times
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It's harder to intercept people taking pictures now that everyone has their cameras on their phone. Even a tasteful sign that says "No photography, please" is often ignored. :-(

In the OP's case, I think I'd suggest asking someone to keep an eye on the cousin. Also keep in mind that there are probably people attending that would not mind being photographed -- if your cousin in the sort who is an amateur genealogist, funerals and wakes are often one of the few times to obtain photos. BUT the photos should only be done with people who are willing to be photographed. A grieving daughter has good reason not to want to be photographed -- swollen eyes, tears and the fatigue and stress of a funeral are not conducive to flattering photos.

You could have a direct talk with the cousin. "NO PHOTOS AT THE FUNERAL, PERIOD, AND IF YOU BRING OUT YOUR CAMERA, I'LL HAVE THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR THROW YOU OUT. GOT IT?" is direct and authoritative. However, maybe give a bit on photos at the reception/wake later, as long as they don't involve you or other close family members.

And I'm in agreement with photos of the deceased -- if an intimate family member wants a photo and it gives them comfort, then whatever they want is fine (although I can't help remembering all those turn-of-the-20th-century memento mori photos of dead folks posed with their family members.) But for a funeral attendee just to whip out a camera while paying respects at the casket?! Oh, HELL no. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
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Old 02-10-2017, 01:38 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,639,274 times
Reputation: 33226
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
IM totally lost to some answers on here clearly sidestepping the fact that this man is a perv.. and that should be the issue not for taking photos at a funeral.. Im still not sure about this post at all though..
I know.

It's like saying "we have a relative who carries and ax and swings it at people trying to chop off their heads, I am afraid he may show up with a camera"....but no concern about the ax.
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Old 02-13-2017, 07:28 AM
 
156 posts, read 79,555 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
What I don't approve of is someone snapping a picture of the deceased in a casket at the viewing/wake.


At my mother's wake, her sister-in-law quickly whipped out a camera while viewing and snapped a quick close up picture of my mother.


I informed her I thought that was in poor taste.

I find that odd too and definitely in poor taste as well.
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Old 02-14-2017, 11:39 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,760,954 times
Reputation: 27757
Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
What I don't approve of is someone snapping a picture of the deceased in a casket at the viewing/wake.


At my mother's wake, her sister-in-law quickly whipped out a camera while viewing and snapped a quick close up picture of my mother.


I informed her I thought that was in poor taste.
OK, that doesn't bother me. In fact, you can prop them up try to make them look alive as they did in the 1800s. Interesting photos there.
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