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Old 10-17-2018, 01:23 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,528 posts, read 24,439,409 times
Reputation: 25047

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I think they are becoming less common. People don't want to spend thousands of dollars on a funeral. Plus if the person who died was elderly, chances are most of their friends are already dead and the few left may be too frail to attend. Used to be everyone dropped everything to go to Cousin Irma's funeral. Today, not so much. Many people don't get much time off and it's hard to pay for those top price tickets you didn't buy in advance. Funerals are very expensive for the people who attend too.

I seldom attend funerals. If I cared about that person I spent time with them while they were alive.

No services for me when I kick the bucket. Any one who still remembers me can raise a glass in my honor.
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Old 10-19-2018, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,575 posts, read 16,226,702 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slackercruster View Post
Op, cremation is only a few thousand dollars. (I think) A burial plot at a cemetery in L.A. was $25,000. Very $$ to die nowadays.
$25,000 for a burial plot! ? ! ? !

But, to put that amount into perspective, I purchased two cemetery plots in a well run cemetery in my hometown less than a year ago. The cost? $200 each. So, not every place has outrageous prices.
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Old 10-19-2018, 10:39 PM
 
5,660 posts, read 3,482,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
$25,000 for a burial plot! ? ! ? !

But, to put that amount into perspective, I purchased two cemetery plots in a well run cemetery in my hometown less than a year ago. The cost? $200 each. So, not every place has outrageous prices.
Back in the 1970s my dad purchased six plots in Rose Hills, a very large and well-known cemetery in the Los Angeles area. My mom is buried in one; he's going to be laid in another when he dies. No one in the family wanted the other four so this year I helped him sell them. They are in an older, sold-out, very beautiful area of the cemetery and went for $2500 each.

$25,000 for a single plot sounds suspicious. Hard to imagine where it could be, even in LA, that would command such a high price.
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Old 10-19-2018, 11:26 PM
 
Location: Somewhere between chaos and confusion
282 posts, read 155,013 times
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We have had an aunt die recently and a close friend. In both cases, a notice in paper, cremated and no services. I find it a little tougher on the living without some type of closure, but I respect the wishes of the deceased.

Hubby and I have agreed to cremation. I will be buried in my birthplace cemetery with my family. If hubby dies first, then I will carry him around to be buried with me. We both want a memorial service of some kind.
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Old 12-06-2018, 12:36 PM
 
Location: mid wyoming
1,996 posts, read 5,901,419 times
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Funerals are a sad sham at best I have seen extremely shady stuff going on during a death. My wife and I are getting cremated and ashes spread. If people want to see me come when I'm alive not when your looking down at my corpse in a over valued box. Yes I am told they are more for the living
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Old 12-06-2018, 01:26 PM
 
121 posts, read 27,427 times
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My MIL passed away last year and was cremated. The cost to intern her ashes next to her husband's was very high. In some states, the funeral industry colluded with the state legislatures, and you get laws/regulations that require an urn, some sort of box for the urn to be buried in, handling fees, and blah, blah, blah. Just to bury her ashes, the plot was already paid for, ran into several thousand dollars. I told my wife when I croak, simply cremate me in a cardboard box, put the ashes in a grocery bag, and bury it out in the national forest someplace.
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Old Today, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
122 posts, read 16,692 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josie13 View Post
Maybe your aunts and uncle wanted it that way. I put instructions in my will and have told my children to spend as little money as possible dealing with my remains. They can show after the cremation with a cardboard box for all I care. I don't want any money wasted on a receptacle or service of any kind. I don't like waste.
I don't have a preference on what my children do but I will not tell them they can't have a service. Services are for the living not the dead. It pays respect yes, but either way they are no less dead if it happens or doesn't. The service is to give the family the chance to grieve together if they wish and provide support for each other. It seems selfish for me to tell them they can't do that when it's not going to affect me. It's certainly not going to delay my arrival wherever I'm going.
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Old Today, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
122 posts, read 16,692 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarisaMay View Post
Can I say something in defence of having some type of ceremony. To keep it in context, funerals in Australia are possibly often more simple than many I have seen described here. The most typical funeral would involve a cremation, without any type of viewing, a closed coffin and a service of about thirty to forty -five minutes. Followed by a gathering at a cafe for coffe, tea and snacks. There are many variations on this, with Australia being one of the most multi cultural countries on the planet, and three of my aunts and uncles did have no funeral at all. Which was entirely what they had wanted.

But my mother died recently and she had a long slow decline which took over five years. As she had dementia and also severe depression it was a very stressful time for all concerned. We had a typical funeral of the type described. It cost around $US5,000 and I was actually really glad that we did have it. It was really great for me to be able to start to refocus my mind back to times before the collapse in her health. Seeing early photos, listening to the grandchildren recount stories and seeing some of her long time friends meant a lot to me.

It was a lot of work at the time, mostly because of the photo tribute, which is of course optional anyway, but only a couple of months later I am sure it was of benefit to the family.

^^This^^

I won't demand my family have a huge elaborate service for me but I certainly wouldn't tell them they are not allowed to do one if they so choose. It could be a backyard BBQ if that's what they want, it doesn't matter. Some people find comfort in numbers so if that's the case I would be selfish to tell them they can't when it's not going to affect me one way or another.
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Old Today, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
122 posts, read 16,692 times
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My family can do what they choose regarding a service. If they want a full blown service then that's fine. If they want a backyard BBQ that's fine too. It's for them at that point, not me. The only thing I do NOT want is to end up sitting in an urn in a forgotten storage locker somewhere. Bury me, cremate me, sprinkle me in the flower beds during the BBQ. It's all good. They can even do the urn on the mantle route if they want to, as long as they have an exit strategy in place for ME when THEY pass so that some day great-great grandson Billy doesn't get stuck with the urn like a morbid game of Hot Potato. Also please do not make it the centerpiece of family dinners for the next 20 years. My MIL does this with her mother at every holiday and it creeps me the *$*% out to have Grandma in the middle of the dinner table next to the peas!
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Old Today, 09:56 AM
 
Location: The middle
496 posts, read 239,083 times
Reputation: 1723
I think traditional funerals are becoming less common. There seem to be more cremations with a memorial/celebration of life type thing at the convenience of the family.

Personally I plan to be cremated with my ashes scattered in the Sonoran desert. I do not want a formal funeral. Those who want to remember me can get a sonoran dog in Tucson and watch the sunset and city lights come up from Sentinel Peak in Tucson. Family and friends can do this at their convenience if they choose.
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