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Old 03-19-2017, 09:19 PM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamingo13 View Post
That sounds lovely and I envy you. It's been 3 yrs. (recent anniversary) since my husband died and I am realizing that I've kind of blocked it out/gone through: knowing it was coming at some point, thinking it was a good thing, hating myself for thinking that, just trying to hang on, drinking too much, punishing myself by not eating, going crazy by shopping (which I can NOT afford). I live hrs. away from old-time friends, know some in the area more casually (acquaintances I suppose as I had issues before and my husband would say that, I can't understand the concept). I don't even know why I'm posting as I keep things inside (even from myself), feeling sorry for myself I suppose. I can't imagine living yrs. and yrs. like this yet I can't afford to do THINGS! Sorry, I should probably find some blog thing....
Flamingo,
Grieving can be a long process and can be kind of confusing if there were conflicting feelings. Everyone has their own style of getting those feelings out. But you might find some help (at low cost) in a grief group at your local hospice or similar. There are also often grief groups at churches. I've also seen, though not participated in, widows' groups that are not really for discussing feelings, but more for doing activities together with others who are in the same boat as you. Some churches have a program called Stephen Ministries that are designed for confidential, one-on-one support - someone trained to be a good listener and helper, though not a professional counselor. My point is that there are resources out there if you feel you don't have anyone to talk to about your loss and how you are feeling now - and talking to someone who is trusted is important (and way better than drinking too much, over-shopping or just feeling isolated.) I do believe we can have good lives after loss. Prayers for you.
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Old 04-09-2017, 05:53 PM
 
567 posts, read 212,410 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
It does get better, but that doesn't means you "get over it." I don't think I will ever stop loving or missing my husband. Even so, I am getting to a place where I am figuring out how to live by myself. It hasn't been easy, but I think the life ahead will be worthwhile. I want to be of service to others as well as having enjoyment and challenge. And I think I can do that. But that hole in my heart will always be there. There is a song my husband and I used to dance to, and which I played at his memorial service, and which is still rings true to me. The chorus goes: "The truth will be untrue, one and one will not be two, and I'll do something I'll never do, when I get over you."
I love that song "When I Get Over You" especially the Juice Newton version. It will be 4 years next month since I lost my husband and daughter. Like you, I am getting to a place where I can live by myself but I'll never stop missing them in my life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUnuGKdZFz4
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Old 04-10-2017, 12:42 AM
 
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Thanks for that, Miz Ree. I am sorry about your husband and daughter. I'm glad you are getting to a place of living again.

The version of "When I get Over You" that we listened to and that I played was by Venice.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RBIr17S2nc


My husband was a Beach Boys fan of many years, as he loved the harmonies, which is a feature of Venice. At some point, I hope to be able to play some of my husband's music, but I'm not really there yet. It was two years this past December.

My best to you.
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Old 04-10-2017, 08:39 AM
 
567 posts, read 212,410 times
Reputation: 1427
Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
Thanks for that, Miz Ree. I am sorry about your husband and daughter. I'm glad you are getting to a place of living again.

The version of "When I get Over You" that we listened to and that I played was by Venice.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RBIr17S2nc


My husband was a Beach Boys fan of many years, as he loved the harmonies, which is a feature of Venice. At some point, I hope to be able to play some of my husband's music, but I'm not really there yet. It was two years this past December.

My best to you.
Oh I like your version better than the one I've always listened to.
I didn't mean to make you sad. I hope you soon are able to listen to your husbands music and remember him with smiles instead of tears. Grief is a two-steps-forward-one-step-backwards process I think. It's like that for me anyway. My best to you too.
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